Positive Versus Negative

[Nicolette]

Hi

In light of some recent posts, I noticed that some PTSD sufferers wrote that they tend to take things by the negative rather than the positive when reading here on the forum.I did ask one sufferer if they thought it was PTSD or self-esteem.....they said probably a bit of both.

When you read things do you read the worst (negative) or the best (positive) out of what the writer is trying to say? If you take the negative why do you think you do it?

 

[becvan]

Well, mostly negative although I STRIVE for positive, it's just not easy. PTSD includes a changed world view. We see the world differently. It's now a bad place filled with bad people. I'm not even sure if this is reversible (therapist keeps lips tightly closed on this subject! LOL) So.. basically you have a bunch of people that don't trust anyone, know from experience how bad this world really is, know that real evil comes in the form of human, so yeah. Negative would only be natural for us. It's a by-product of the PTSD and one that seems to take root and not let go either. :rolleyes:

bec

 

[kers]

Nicely stated, bec!

I think the difference between me and non-PTSD folk is that I am inherently suspicious and doubtful. When a friend offers to do something nice, I suspect a more sinister, manipulative motive. When someone says something compassionate to me, I wonder why they are faking it. It's a manifestation of hypervigilance--if I catch the criticism early, maybe I can prevent a devastating attack. So I see attacks where there are none, misreading people's motivations and actions. I don't like being this way, and I try not to, but I also want to be safe.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I think (for me) because my abuse started as a young child and through out my teens that this is when you are molded, and learn the most. When you learn nothing but pain, suffering, hurt, abuse, neglect, are told negative things about yourself that it becomes ingrained....

I do try very hard to NOT be negative, but it's extremely hard. On the forum if I read something that I take as negative I try not to respond, as I did with your post about Life outside of the forum. But then you asked why people didn't respond to it, so I responded with the truth on how I felt. I really did see it as you were trying to say that people spend too much time on the forum and that we needed to find something outside of the forum. I do understand that there is life outside of the forum, but was I was insulted just the same.

There is an old saying...You are what you live. I lived in a world of negative. It's hard to change, but I do work on it.

 

[Grama-Herc]

I see a very common issue in all our comments here. We all go to the negitive part of our brains and never the positive.

OOPS! Wrote this in the wrong thread, hope it gets moved to the one Nicolette was asking about positive verses negative

 

[linasmom]

Nicolette,

What everyone else said! I definitely tend to see the negative. For me, I think most people have an alternative MO and that MO is to put me down in some way - either passively or aggressively.

I tend to read in between the lines too much. I'm hyper-aware and look for subtle statements, the way in which things are said or written, certain tones. Sometimes this is good in that I can spot danger, my therapist thinks I'm highly intuitive. But there is the other side to that coin - I can easily turn something that is truly harmless into something negative.

PTSDers are constantly trying to "protect" themselves. It's just a form of defense. Maybe not a healthy one because we've taken it too far, but it's how we survived.

Best,
Rachel

 

[goingonhope]

Positive Vs. Negative

For me, this topic opens up a well of thought, self inventory and analysis and then perhaps at another time, some further contribution in discussion here.

In addition to so much I'd want to say on this subject: Positive Vs. Negative, I have passionate emotions regarding it; None of which I have the luxury of inviting today. Perhaps for another day.


.........A topic rooted for me in past ongoing serious confusion, misunderstandings, chaos and impending abuses(s) throughout my youth; Many of which were carried out in an uncontrolled and frantic state of mind;

Then: (Where one member or another within my family of origin's negativity initiated, ......and then each of us person's negativism began, spread, and either in hope ended and/or in loyalties endured, .......those lines at which each person's negativism began and so forth, is still quite unclear to me, and yet remain important to me to better understand.)

Simple and specific:

Nicolette, you asked here:

When you read things do you read the worst (negative) or the best (positive) out of what the writer is trying to say? If you take the negative why do you think you do it?

For me, I read the best (positive) out of what the writer is trying to say!

Hope


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neg·a·tiv·ism [néggəti vìzzəm] n

1. habitual skepticism: a strong tendency to be pessimistic, to assess situations in the worst light, or to be unreasonably skeptical about generally accepted beliefs

2. psychology persistent unreasonable defiance: persistent defiance of authority and refusal to obey instructions. .........Source: Encarta ® World English Dictionary
------

 

[Sparky]

Food for thought....

I come from a negative pessimistic family. I always thought positive and kept it to myself, until my trauma. Since then and after a lot of other things that happened to me, my first thought is always negative. It feels as if my family is constantly over my shoulder pointing out all the negativity....

I hate it and I'm working hard on this one. I feel that this is one of my biggest obstacles.

Sparky

 

[Seychelle]

My reaction is very similar to what others have described here. I see criticism where none was intended and always assume the worst. I'm somewhat concious that I do this, but it's very hard to break free of it.

 

[reallydown]

My response is no different than those the others have already given...I tend to focus on the negative and, like the others, I often read too much into things...or am always trying to defend myself...Whenever someone in the family says something to me that I perceive as mean...or...whatever...and I respond with (what I think is) in kind I get the "why do you take everything as an attack on you?"...and only more trouble from there...I get irritable and even angry...which, of course, leaves them scratching their heads...I'm working on it though...

 

[Marlene]

Negative or positive…oh yeah-negative. I can't think of a single situation in which my first reaction wasn't negative, worst-case scenario. People ask me simple questions, pay me compliments or just talk in general about things and I always (and this isn't a generalization) look at it negatively first.

The flip side of that is that I've learned that this is how I react, so I keep my mouth shut until I'm able to process what someone has said. Sometimes it's only a few minutes for me to see that it wasn't said how I initially thought. Sometimes it's weeks or months. My therapist told me once that of all of his PTSD patients, I was dealing with it the best. I took that that he was saying that since I was doing so well that he was going to show me the door. I became very angry and defensive. It took me months to figure out that it was a compliment.

I tend to use my husband as my sounding board for things. He's very good at reading people. If I tell him something that upset me and he says that, to him, it was no big deal then I'll re-look at it. I may not change my point of view, but I will try to see it through another perspective. Having another set of eyes that don't see things through the veil of PTSD helps.

Lisa