Post Traumatic Growth ?

[joeylittle]

Maybe part of my struggle is the underlying message (in my mind) that I should then be thankful for my trauma because without it I wouldn't have achieved certain things in life.

I know what you mean - I don't believe the people who came up with the term ever intended that. Most resources on post-traumatic growth that I've seen are quick to point out that the concept is not at all tied to justifying, making sense of, or being grateful for trauma. But it's hard to get past that 'positive spin' that the word growth implies.

 

[illusionist]

I haven't achieved a lot of things in life, but I do believe without this growth I would be in a permanent dark world. I have my times when I struggle, but nothing to what I was before this change.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I guess I don't really know much about it at all, or given it too much thought. Part of my trauma is the result of being a doormat type of person. I have a hard time saying "no" in many situations.

I don't know if all the personal changes I'm experiencing are directly from the traumas or is it more the personality of my Therapist and supporter? I've learned a lot and see so many areas that I can learn from. So yes, I'm a very different person now than I was - in a good way. I have grown a lot. It also has come since the traumas and the therapy, but I'm not convinced it's because of this particular set of traumas.

If I were to develop close relationships with similar type people, would these types of personal changes have slowly happened anyways? Sort of what has already been mentioned. Life itself changes us and shapes us as we go along. For better or worse.

I definitely hope that I didn't have to experience these traumas and PTSD to make me into a better person. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I also struggle with this term. I understand it as a scientific term, but really, it feels like it undercuts the intensity of everything. PTSD, while awful as a label, serves to somehow acknowledge the pain. Not justify, but acknowledge that things can be life altering and not necessarily in a good way. Post Traumatic Growth makes it sound positive. It makes me feel like my experiences are trivial.

 

[EveHarrington]

I know what you mean - I don't believe the people who came up with the term ever intended that. Mos...

It must've been invented by people who were never traumatized themselves! Lol.

As much healing as I do, I would feel like the scum of the earth, the biggest sell out-----if I ever put a positive spin on the results of my trauma.

"Yaaaaay! I'm so glad I was molested as a child."

Uhm no. No matter how awesome my life becomes, I will always be at a deficit.

I don't personally believe that I can attribute anything 100% to post traumatic growth because it's impossible to know what my life would have been like otherwise. What if the non-traumatized me realized these things 15 years earlier? It would be like bowing down to trauma and being grateful that it threw me some crumbs 1.5 decades too late.

Sorry this topic is upsetting to me. I feel like a total schmuck right now because I can't be happy for my post traumatic growth. I'm STILL fighting my way back to just having what most people take for granted. It's hard to be happy when the world hates me for what I am due to trauma. (Generalization yes.) I don't sit around and mope about this 24/7. I'm more at "acceptance" level and this may be as good as it gets for me.

My life is hellish much of the time and I'm supposed to be happy that it's no longer hellish all of the time?

I sound like such a whiner.

 

[Suzetig]

The term isn't about being able to say "I'm so glad that happened to me" or that in some way PTG denies the pain of post traumatic stress - it's a way of acknowledging that for many people the shock and disintegration that happen during a traumatic event will lead to them reevaluating areas of their life and making changes that may not otherwise have occurred.

Interestingly, writers talk about how post traumatic growth needs a degree of post traumatic stress but when the level of stress reaches the point of diagnosable PTSD, the potential for growth lessens because the persons system is overwhelmed. As folk start to recover, post traumatic growth starts taking place again. The term was coined following studies of survivors of disasters, veterans etc who self identified positive change following trauma across a range of measures.

I don't think for a second folk are failures if they don't see growth in themselves following trauma or that we need to be grateful it happened. I for one would love to know who I would have been without my traumas, I can also recognise qualities in myself I wouldn't have developed without it.

 

[EveHarrington]

I also struggle with this term. I understand it as a scientific term, but really, it feels...

Exactly.

 

[Iamsensative]

I have a difficult time believing you can possibly measure what we could have been to what we have to struggle to be now. Has it given we are different perspective on the world..OMG yes, is it a positive influence- maybe I made sure my children received all the love and care I could possibly give. But what if I never experienced abuse- wouldn't I have been better equipped to be that wonderful mother, person, without all the torturing self doubt and self hate. Positive growth from a negative experience will never undo what has been done. I think these silly studies should actually be focused on how to help the children that are falling through the cracks right now, how to educate people. Just my rant and my hope.

 

[Tinyflame]

In the past I would have said yes, PTG exists & is possible. Thinking more about it & more scientificlly, now I would say no; growth can exist, or Post Traumatic Realizations more accurately- one could call the positive realizations 'growth' but no nothing good or non-evil about trauma, destruction, SI, etc. in my humble opinion. I think if there's positive growth it's despite it, not because of it. (And ptsd takes plenty of people out, too.)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

After much researching of this concept, it does not apply to me. And the entire concept states that it doesnt apply to everyone.

My growth is becoming 'un-brainwashed' and I am still in the middle of it.

I have always felt deep; thought deep and have always had massive empathy.

I found my love of computers in high school, completely unrelated to my trauma. If not for trying to 'cut off' from a cult, I would have had a chance to go to college and be something rather than just wasted air.

So many doors have been closed & locked and the concept states that one has better ways to cope with similar stressors and if that 'similar stressor' is a cult, I disagree and I have horrible abilty to handle any stressor.

Ive always been a fighter and I have always had the mindset of never giving up. I cant say thats due to my trauma.

But, I will admit that my trauma has always been. I cannot remember a time before the trauma. Therefore, I cant say 100% that my personality was different before the trauma as I dont remember before the trauma but I can say that without this huge adversity, I would have had the abilty to do so much more in life.

So, yes, I have growth, but no, I do not contribute my trauma to it at all. Its overcoming my trauma and Im not even half way "unbrainwashed" yet. How can I say my trauma helped in any way at all to how I am today? I cant, at all!

 

[EveHarrington]

Now that I read Joeys blurb on PTG again I think the concept is total BS.

I have been stripped of all of those domains because of trauma. I think it's total crap to say that PTG is limited to those certain areas as it means that I've accomplished absolutely nothing in my 10+ years of healing. I wish these dumb concept inventors would actually talk to real trauma survivors. MOST studies won't even touch childhood trauma so you get ridiculous concepts like this one when researchers interview people who were traumatized ONCE and as an ADULT and healed within a short time.

Childhood trauma survivors should run far from this stuff as it completely and totally minimizes the very hard work we've done and the great strides we've made in healing.

I know I've "grown" and I don't need some stupid theory to tell me that I haven't.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

While researching this (for an entire day along with reading what everyone here has to say about it) I think it's absoltue BS.

It's like saying "well, thanks to my trauma, ive had this opportunity when I wouldn't have without my trauma". Yeah, no!

Thanks to my trauma Ive had to pay 6 grand to a therapist for 8 yrs so far and fight my own brain.

This concept is, I think, is talking only about a certian group of people. Small group of people!

Lets get some severaly traumatize people and ask them "why are you thankful for your trauma?" I think that's a dangerous question.

I will say it again. I have NOT grown due to my trauma, I have grown due to therapy to overcome my trauma and in no way have I grown in an area that I wouldn't have without my trauma and no one will convince me that I have.

It's a riduculous concept, in my opinion!