Artimystic
New Here
Hello fellow travelers,
I happily am going to visit my son in prison tomorrow (monday).
Yet I don’t want to go. I don’t want to walk in those doors. It is even one of the milder prisons.
I’m in ptsd mode now. Triggered memories by the whole ordeal of his arrest. Small town/ news papers/ severity and nature of crime.
Prison is a similar rigid and calculating atmosphere. I’m a firm believer in restorative justice and that’s not at all what you feel inside. And I’m just a visitor. With my traumatic past and behavior I could easily if landed inside a prison.
I usually go with the mindset of kindness. Part of the reason is I have to behave perfectly almost. They could end the visitation on their Discretion.
But I’m concerned I will behave in a fawn mode. Taking care of men was how I acted out my ptsd most of my adult life. I’m just learning more about fawning.
I do want to practice good before and after techniques as well.
Any comments, tips or advice?
Artimystic
I happily am going to visit my son in prison tomorrow (monday).
Yet I don’t want to go. I don’t want to walk in those doors. It is even one of the milder prisons.
I’m in ptsd mode now. Triggered memories by the whole ordeal of his arrest. Small town/ news papers/ severity and nature of crime.
Prison is a similar rigid and calculating atmosphere. I’m a firm believer in restorative justice and that’s not at all what you feel inside. And I’m just a visitor. With my traumatic past and behavior I could easily if landed inside a prison.
I usually go with the mindset of kindness. Part of the reason is I have to behave perfectly almost. They could end the visitation on their Discretion.
But I’m concerned I will behave in a fawn mode. Taking care of men was how I acted out my ptsd most of my adult life. I’m just learning more about fawning.
I do want to practice good before and after techniques as well.
Any comments, tips or advice?
Artimystic