Psychiatrist Insensitive Or I'm Being Sensitive?

[Pinkplatypus]

Actually, I am a bit grateful. I never thought to read about Singapore before now. What a lovely culture.
Sorry. to stay on topic.

Is it possible for you to seek a different psychiatrist through a different source? From a local hospitals non emergency outpatient services perhaps?

:) Thanks, I love my country too. I can understand how someone might think so since we're turning 50 only this year so our country is relatively new and unknown.

Yes, I can but the process is far too long. It'll take a month or so before I can meet someone new at the local hospital and before that I have to go through a screening process again for referral (which means having to retell my story another 2 times to 2 more strangers). But I think I'll start that process soon and go for my next appointment with the one at my university (actually he's from a local hospital and comes to visit for students who needs his services). Then if I really am too uncomfortable with it, I'll make the switch.

if they are not helping you, then it is not considered as help. It is their responsibility to help you to build coping skills.

I'll have to remember that! and thanks for the list of smileys! hehe :happy: they're so cut

 

[Deleted member 19804]

He's supposedly super experienced and good. Maybe it was just me not able to tell the story very well since I was very nervous and kept smiling (stupid things I do when I'm nervous) and wasnt really saying much to move the conversation along. just a lot of "errr... then... ya" <- which isnt much of a story.
I'm not even sure if knowing the entire story is important for him to treat me and I wasnt very motivated/comfortable to tell him the entire story at all.

A professional psychiatrist should be able to see when someone's nervous and respond appropriately. It is not your fault that he was acting unprofessional. If anything, people who have suffered a trauma will very often be chaotic when telling their story, because it's extremely hard to talk about it. Especially when it comes to the details.
If you don't feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it, then find someone else. I know it's difficult and expensive, but he is obviously not capable of helping you. Best case scenario: you tell him a little bit and he prescribes you some meds that will hopefully work. But think about this: when you're going through a tough time, will you feel comfortable enough to tell him about it?

 

[barefoot]

I agree with what others have said. Asking 'Did you like it?' is completely inappropriate and I don't blame you for feeling very uncomfortable at the thought of seeing him again. I understand your situation of being assigned someone through the university service but it sounds like he's not the only one there? So could you simply say to the university service that he asked a couple of questions that made you feel uncomfortable and you'd really appreciate it if you could see someone else instead? Perhaps you could say you would prefer to see a female? I don't know if you would prefer to see a female, but I think that would sound like a common and reasonable request which they might be open to looking in to? I don't mean make a formal complaint about him(unless that's what you want to do!) but there may be some scope you you to swap to someone else?

 

[Pinkplatypus]

Best case scenario: you tell him a little bit and he prescribes you some meds that will hopefully work. But think about this: when you're going through a tough time, will you feel comfortable enough to tell him about it?

I think his job is mostly giving the meds. The talking part will be with the counsellor who will communicate with him if there's anything major. I think. I'm not very sure how it works for now, but I've asked around and that's what others say.

Perhaps you could say you would prefer to see a female?

I was horrified to see that I've been given a male one, but there's only two psychiatrist that comes to visit on different days (i.e if you have your first appointment on a monday, you'll be stuck with monday from now on). The other is a male too ):

 

[Queen Boudica]

By the way, the more I think about it the more ignorant and unprofessional and incompetent this guy sounds. Ejaculation has nothing to do with rape. I think you should make a complaint about him. He had no right to ask a rape victim whether she enjoyed it. That is abusive. And this guy is supposed to be a psychiatrist, he should know full well about how to talk to rape victims and should be well aware that ejaculation has nothing to do with rape and you NEVER ask a rape victim if she enjoyed it.This guy is ignorant and unprofessional and incompetent,and he should not be treating university students, where the incidence of rape is not so uncommon. And this guy is showing some real indications that he has no idea. And should not be let loose on rape victims. I would complain. And I definitely would use that as grounds as not to see him again. Have you told your counsellor what this guy said to you? Because if your counsellor has any sense then they would complain as well. This is incompetence, professional incompetence. And the guy should not be allowed to practice if he is doing this. In fact it is bordering on abuse if you ask me.

 

[greenleaf]

If the only available psychiatrist is male and acts like that, can you possible find a non-specialist doctor who takes you (and sexual assault in general) seriously? Personally I would take the safety in the relationship above the alleged "specialized knowledge".

If this person believes that a lot of people fabricate accounts of traumas for whatever reason, I highly doubt he would actually treat you for trauma! He might be "treating" you for whatever his self-congratulating ignorant brain thinks goes on in people who report trauma, which would not be the treatment that you need in all likelihood. Trauma survivors very unfortunately still get this treatment from some "doctors" in most countries but fortunately there are now better educated, compassionate, honest doctors more widely available...

Perhaps he believes Freud's later writings on accounts of trauma or whatever... he could even have assaulted someone himself, to be showing such attitudes; those attitudes can be used to justify assault in the mind of a perpetrator (though other people have the attitudes too; in my opinion it shows emotional cowardice at best on their part as they would rather attack the survivor than face the horror of the reality)... you do not deserve such treatment!!!
.

 

[Pinkplatypus]

yes definitely going to bring this up with my counsellor, who is the only one i currently trust right now (but he's a guy too... i know what are the chances right)

I'm not sure why he asked if there was ejaculation. but it was after he was convinced it was rape. He looked more curious than anything else <- but I'm inferring.

 

[ihateusernames]

He's supposedly super experienced and good. Maybe it was just me not able to tell the story very well since I was very nervous and kept smiling (stupid things I do when I'm nervous)

There is no way he is experienced or worth much of anything if he's not aware that people smile and clam up when they are nervous or scared. Whenever I talk to a therapist I laugh the whole damn time until I just can't anymore. It's not because I think it's funny and they are well aware of that.

I'm not even sure if knowing the entire story is important for him to treat me

You're right. It's not.

Don't blame yourself. He was completely inappropriate. Whether we want to call it insensitive or even pervy (sorry, I just don't see any other point to some of his questions.)

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Oh my gosh, I find myself getting angry at the psychiatrist for you. I can't STAND victim shaming. You are definitely not being too sensitive. If he is just working with you for medications he really didn't need to ask any of that! Anyway I am sorry that happened to you. I hope the next time you have to see him he can actually be appropriate. I am glad you are going to talk to your therapist about it too.

 

[Lucycat]

I think his job is mostly giving the meds. The talking part will be with the counsellor who will communicate with him if there's anything major.

I am glad your therapy will be with somebody else. Might I suggest that you tell the counsellor just how dreadful the psychiatrist was? It might even be possible for you to have somebody with you for further appointments with the psychiatrist if you prefer. When I saw mine I was so scared that my T agreed to come with me. I found that really helpful. Hopefully you will not need to see him much at all.

In any country the psychiatrist's comments were inappropriate.

 

[garden]

For sure you are NOT being overly sensitive. It will be really hard to get better without feeling safe, understood, and comfortable with your therapist. His line of questioning did not seem right at all.

 

[camabelu]

I agree with everyone here. I am angry on your behalf. I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm older, I've been in therapy a long time and have made a lot of progress so I feel like I've earned the right to have and to voice an educated opinion about this. This so-called doctor has caused you MORE trauma. Psychiatrists are doctors, have to swear the Hippocratic oath (do no harm), and just the fact that he has you second-guessing yourself is all the proof you need that he is, at the VERY least unprofessional and actually, more likely harmful. And you can be sure that if he's done this to you that you're not alone. Not that this is your issue or concern.
Trust yourself - trust your sense of knowing.
And by the way, victims of sexual abuse often have feelings of pleasure - it only makes things harder because there's the extra burden of feeling your own body betrayed you. If you DID feel any (and that was about as inappropriate as a question can get from a professional), you must never forget that your body is designed to respond to sexual touch and if it did, it has no bearing AT ALL on the fact that you were abused.
I'd seriously think about taking the advice someone gave about bringing someone with you if you have to see him again. You have a right to feel safe and you owe it to yourself to treat yourself well - even if - especially if others don't.
All the very best in your recovery.