ED Ptsd and anorexia

[Powder]

Abstract, you're right, I think it's a way of denying what's coming up for me emotionally. Your words directly contravene what my parents taught me. They made fun of any of my emotions and whatever PTSD symptoms that I couldn't hide. They belittled me for for them or for thinking they had anything to do with them. "It was all just me being weak." They consistently worked to get me to think I'm inferior and weak. The world has shown me that the opposite is true. Or maybe I'm trying to prove a point to myself to get out of their bad belief systems. However I can process it and get out of it, building my own belief systems based on my own experiences and my own support system is going to be important to this rebuilding.

Thank you for your words. I am not giving up, just using old crutches to get through this.

 

[Abstract]

I am not giving up, just using old crutches to get through this.

They certainly are!:( The problem is that every time we use them we perpetuate the problem and risk a relapse. It is such a slippery slope as you well know!
You can do it though. I am sorry your emotions were mocked and your symptoms too. :( I relate actually. I was actually punished for having my own feelings or thoughts.
Having feelings and allowing yourself to feel them is strong not weak. It is brave. Especially when you have been trained not to have them. You are absolutely strong and able to do this! You can throw off those messages and take charge of your life.
Feeling devasted and upset will not kill you even though it may feel like it; but starving yourself or purging very well could.
Take care and I hope it falls back into place for you.

One little extra extra challenge for you! ;) Do you feel the pet names, "Ana" and "Mia" take away from the full horror of these conditions and allow you to feel they still help you in some way? If not then ignore me! I just always think they are such innocent names for something so very not.

 

[Tinyflame]

I agree totally with Abstract, every point.