Ptsd And Being Older/wiser

[Deleted member 19804]

Since my PTSD, several people have told me that I seem older than I really am. That I look young, but that mentally I'm very mature. A random stranger I once met on a train told me that I seemed very wise for my age. And when I meet new people and chat with them for a while, they tell me they thought I looked very young, but that once they'd talked to me for a while, their estimation for my age went up to several years above my true age (which is 20).

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Do you feel older and/or wiser since the onset of your PTSD? Have people told you that you come across a lot older than you really am? And how does that make you feel?

 

[Leah123]

Yes, I've gotten that type of response quite a bit. I'm also an adult child of an alcoholic, and come from a fairly chaotic background. It's very common for ACOA to become mature and responsible at a young age. PTSD seems to have aged me also, that much stress definitely wears on a person. How does it make me feel? Well, in my youth, I appreciated it, as I age, I'm still glad, but more aware of and sad about missing out on relating to people my own age more.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It has been quite a painful journey for me but I have learned and grown so much. I have common sense now, when before I had none. I have been told I am wise too. I sure wish I felt that way.

 

[Zef]

I also get that sort of 'wise beyond my years' comment from time to time. . .although, for some reason, not when I'm triggered and acting out. :);)

I think part of it is that some of us with PTSD have seen and/or experienced things that have forced us to look at life from a different perspective.

In my case, I think that some of the behaviors that I have developed by living with trauma and PTSD mimic the behaviors that people associate with wisdom. . .

I also think that some of the things we have to do to manage our symptoms give us insights into ourselves that are probably more honest and practical then how many people view themselves. Since we are all human, sometimes we are able to take those personal insights about ourselves and accurately provide those insights to others.

 

[twopenny]

I've had those sorts of comments as long as I can remember. I don't know how I feel about it.

I do think that maybe the sorts of things that can cause PTSD may be things that make you grow up more quickly than 'normal' people, especially if you experience them early.

But I do also tend to tantrum either like a little kid, or like a sulking teenager when acting out, so maybe not then... :D

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Lol, no...

I have had two different guys tell me I act like I'm 12. Of course this is after things turn sexual and I freak out.

 

[Saule]

I've always gotten this, even as a child/teen. Now at 25 I still do. People always think I'm 5+ years younger than I am though, so maybe I'm just normal for a 25 year old but wiser than the 18-20 year old everyone thinks I am :confused:

But I don't really think it's just that. Almost all of my friends are older than me by 2-10+ years so I think that plays a part. Like others have said I also think a big part of it is that people with PTSD have gone through stuff that many people haven't, and that changes and ages you.

That being said, I'm not always so wise and mature... while intellectually I might seem older, emotionally I can be very immature.

 

[Mlle. Victoria]

At first glance people usually assume my age to be anywhere from 17-23ish (I'm 22) depending on how I'm dressed, which I guess I'll appreciate when I'm much older! :laugh: But when I speak to people, they almost always assume I'm much, much older.

In fact, I had a really interesting experience when I was on my last flight back from studying abroad in Paris back in 2011. I was speaking with a lawyer (she was maybe in her 50s?) and an Army officer (30s-40s?) and they both assumed, if I remember correctly, that I was at least 22 and surely a senior in college -- and I was only 20 and a new junior. I hadn't thought about it, but under most circumstances -- when I'm not somewhere where I have the luxury of feeling safe and at ease, especially around people my age/grade (when that was the appropriate term) -- others almost always assume I'm older than I am.

Like many others said here, I can definitely have my VERY immature, child-like moments, especially when it comes to my relationships and conveying my emotions to others. I can have legitimate discussions in graduate-level courses with adults of varying ages, but I can't tell my mom when she's upset me without throwing a tantrum and/or nearly fracturing my right hand on something.

 

[rightkindofme]

Visually I am guessed in my late twenties/early thirties (I'm in my early thirties) but people tend to tell me, "It sounds like you have already lived more than one whole life." Pretty much. I do a lot of things. I keep busy. I have a lot of experiences. I am incredibly well read so I can speak intelligently on a lot of topics. I find that being able to speak authoritatively on a lot of subjects sounds "older" to a lot of people. I'm not sure why.

 

[Orglethorp]

My own mother says I jumped straight from 6 to 30, and throughout my teenage years if someone only spoke to me (on the phone or online) but hadn't yet met me face-to-face, they always over-estimated my age by at least 15 years. It doesn't help the confusion when people also consistently guess my age roughly 7 years younger when all they have to go by is my appearance. Right now, I'm 25. People meeting me in person immediately assume I'm in the 17-20 range. People who get to know me without seeing me first regularly assess me as 40+. It's only when people meet me in person and don't tell me what age they think I am until we've chatted for a while that I can ever get an estimate remotely close to my age out of them, and those more accurate estimates never come from anyone younger than me.

 

[Abstract]

I had this all the time when I was young/younger. Once I hit a certain age it stopped!

When I was your age (20) it was a comment I got a lot!

 

[DMerish]

I had this all the time when I was young/younger. Once I hit a certain age it stopped! When I was your age (20) it was a comment I got a lot!

^ What she said ^