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Ptsd And Sexual Addiction

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Carol62

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I suffer with PTSD because of a rape when I was a teenager. From all the things I have read a rape can cause a person to become sexually permiscuous (sp). Since that time that's how I have been. When I was a teen it was with random people and after I was married it was all on the computer. Cybersex. Many, many random men...putting myself in real life situations because of phone sex and them degrading me and having me do things to myself that a "normal" person just wouldn't do. I suffer with it until this day. I am now a Christian and that is helping me to control these urges and compulsions. I live now, one day at a time...sometimes one minute at a time. I am wondering if anyone out there can relate to this. I would love to hear from you. Thanks for listening.
 
I am not promiscuous, but I do struggle with fantasies of having humiliating things done to me and being submissive. They used to scare the crap out of me until I realized what I really wanted was to relive my trauma in a way that I retained control. Rewrite the story so to speak. As twisted as it sounds, it isn't. It is about taking back your power. To be able to say that you choose to experience these things and had the power to make it stop when you choose. I know it sounds really weird, but trust me I used to hate myself for it, but with the help of therapy and analyzing why I fantasized about it I realized it wasn't self harm or trying to degrade myself but trying to experience my trauma in a setting where I had control.
 
I am also a rape survivor and also converted to Christianity later in life. I find that I have a lot less sexual thoughts since going on zoloft. SSRIs are like that for a lot of people. It's been kind of a helpful side effect because it gave me a chance to sort of step back and look at my sexuality more objectively and make observations. Some people are annoyed by that side effect. I found it useful. It gave me a chance to get some perspective. Even before that being Christian and celibate helped with this. The zoloft added kind of another level to that though by combining medicating the ptsd with giving me a chance to step back from my sex drive and make some observations.
 
I am not promiscuous, but I do struggle with fantasies of having humiliating things done to me and bei...
I am no longer promiscuous, I have it under control for the time being. It was never a real life thing, just mostly on the computer. I was always submissive. I found a great group that I am going to start going to for sex addicts. Hopefully I will get some good resources and help there. Thanks for responding :)
 
It's my understanding that sexual reactivity is common in sexual assault survivors. Once your boundaries get messed with we look at things differently. I had this reaction at one time as well. I got treatment for it about 3 years ago and have been fine since.
 
I'm not promiscuous but I'm in a similar boat as @Fadeaway. I actually just brought this up in therapy very recently. Ive kept that secret bottled up for so long but I knew within minutes of telling my therapist, that I had done the right thing. Our perceptions of sexuality become so distorted from our trauma. It's not always practical to sort all that out on our own.
 
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