Relationship Ptsd Denial.

[Momofthree]

well he's right there. My guy doesn't give to sh&ts about my past (which is far from pretty), but my ex was always throwing is in my face and telling me I was worthless because of my past.

 

[toomuchlovetoletgo]

All I have ever wanted was to be with him. I spent my entire life comparing every guy to him and no one ever seemed to measure up. He was always the one that I ran to when things got bad. I recently got out of a two year physically abusive relationship and he was the driving force behind me leaving. I told him what was happening and he convinced me that it was unhealthy and I deserve better. I thought he wanted what was best for me. I lived my ex. He had very bad anger issues but I stuck it out because I thought it would get better but it only got worse. I saw him two days after I left when he was on vacation back home and he told me that he had always been in love with me. He is also a serial cheater and has told me as much. He has cheated on every girl be had ever been with.

I told him that I felt like I didn't give myself time to heal after jumping in to this relationship and he accused me of playing the victim card. We have only been dating since Christmas. I have been here since the 6th of December. Most relationships start with a honeymoon phase but this one didn't.

 

[Momofthree]

All I can say at this point is I am so, so sorry :( You deserve so much better, and I hope you find it, but you have to leave before he kills you. He may not physically kill you but he will drain you of everything you are until you are nothing but a walking corps and then he will toss you out with the trash. I don't want that to happen to you.

 

[toomuchlovetoletgo]

He made me feel like I was doing what was best for me. My ex had an abusive life growing up. So I tried my best to work with him. The hardest part was leaving my dog behind. He was the only thing that I looked forward to every day. And things were horrible with my ex for a time. But by the time I left they weren't nearly as bad as they had been at their worst. I shattered his heart when I left and mine shattered right along with it. I finally had a family, a job that I loved, and most importantly place to call home that didn't consist of being surrounded by drug addicts. He was doing his best to work on his anger and was even going to get counseling to try and fix what he had broken. It was far from perfect and no one should ever have to live with abuse. But at least he was trying to change it. The guy I'm with new it's emotionally abusive already and I don't even think he realizes it. He thinks his actions are justified. My ex never made me feel like that. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He just didn't know how to control it.

 

[Momofthree]

One more thing too. I was single for 2yrs before I felt like I was strong enough to have a healthy relationship with someone. You first need to re-learn who you are and love yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with anyone.

 

[toomuchlovetoletgo]

I told him that. I told him that I need to be happy with who I am before I can make someone else happy. And I was just starting to feel that way again before I came here. And now I feel like I am back at square one.

 

[Momofthree]

It sounds like you have had a really crappy life, I'm sorry :( I know where you have been and I know it isn't easy to get above water when you have so may things dragging you under. When I left my ex I moved 2000 thousand miles away with my three children (6, 4, and 1yr) and hid for a year before I felt safe enough to file for divorce. He on the other had already had another woman pregnant by then. That's when It dawned on me that me that he didn't love me, he didn't even miss me, he moved on before the body was cold. You were right to leave the last guy, but this guy is also no good. My advice would be to move again (where ever you can find even a little support), get therapy, and be single for at least 12 months before getting into another relationship. I hope only the best for you.

 

[toomuchlovetoletgo]

Thank you so much. It is such a good feeling to know that this isn't my fault. I have literally been beating myself up over this. I am only 21. The fact that he is 27 made me feel like he just knew better than I did because he is much older and successful in his life.

 

[Momofthree]

You're only 21! You have your whole amazing life ahead of you!! Go, live, love, and have everything you want in life! You deserve the world so go get it!!

 

[toomuchlovetoletgo]

I don't feel like I do. I feel completely lost.

 

[Momofthree]

I know, but once you get out of the fog, and start seeing clearly again, you will see. It will take time (at least 90 days) to clear your head of his voice, but you can do it! I believe in you!!

 

[toomuchlovetoletgo]

I'm glad that someone did. He is st work right now. And gee will probably come home and then go straight to the gym. But with the way he was acting last night, I am almost sure he will come home with his cold shoulder again. I just don't know how to go about this.