Ptsd Diagnosis As Enabling

[mamachick]

fellowsufferer-LOL, this made me laugh. I agree with you totally it is my wishy washy-yes and no- comment that sounds insane. While I try to stay in check, and be gentle enough and firm enough, there are times that having the diagnosis has led me to feel more helpless and give up for a bit, other times it has been validating. It always has made me feel connected with others in this group regardless of circumstances.

I am being honest when I say that if I wanted to, I could use ptsd and other physical diagnosis as an excuse to get out of things, to get others to do for me. I have to be very careful not to do so. I had a really bad winter physically and emotionally. My husband has seen me very ill and in bed alot, and he offers to go down stairs and get me what I want. There are times that I should not let him do it, it could make me lazy, but I have. There are times when I genuinely have needed the help. I am wired so that it is hard for me to let others do for me, not the usual. I am trying to find the balance as most of my life I have been in a caretaker role (not all bad way) as a mother, homemaker, etc. Now an empty nester too, I feel irresponsible. Too often, I am "the little engine that couldnt do it". I am having trouble holding myself accountable. Other times I have made myself do something, and gone into full blown panic attack. Much of the time I feel paralized- my mind says get up and do xyz, and my body says no no no. I also have a traumatic brain injury though. Sorting the mail can be a hurdle. On a good day-I do too much then suffer later. Yet I have always been a do-er. We are taught to value what we do, not who we are. Now, older, (Im 56 with health problems as well), I really cant do what I expect of myself at times. I think I need to practice being and accepting and knowing that we have earned it.

Thank you for your kind words regarding my sister. This has heightened my anxiety horribly.

 

[Meredith Montgomery]

Thank you for saying that.

I feel there are 2 approaches. The "tough love" one, and the "compassion an...

PTSD results in physiological changes and symptoms can range in severity. Diagnosis doesn't change the physiology. Treatment needs to address the body/mind connection. Denial often equals the "tough" approach, more likely to lead to repression that leads to delayed reactions that may disable one at a later time. Compassion isn't enabling, it allows the body/mind to heal. Research material by Peter J Levine, PHD and Bessel Van Der Kolk for latest in research and development of healing techniques.

 

[katz]

I'm not sure if this is the right thread to answer to, but I thought I might share my story. I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was a child. As I grew up they just kept adding on more meds to control my "seizures". At one point, I was on 5 different ones! Finally, when I was an adult, a doctor had me check into a hospital for some tests. By the end of my week of tests, she had taken me off all but one of my meds. This one I did need for the seizures. She was also the only one to ever diagnose me with PTSD. I will always remember the expressions of my parents when she told them. Since then I have not had any more "seizures". I never "step out" as I call it. That was over 6 years ago! I know that I will be dealing with my "demons" for the rest of my life, (I have 5 different ones) :(
But, at least I know that I'm not crazy, as my family had me believe. I now know where to put the blame for all this mess!

 

[RussH]

I don't think it was enabling as much as it was trading one coping mechanism for another.
Before the PTSD you were engaging in risky behavior and substance abuse; both of those will burn up or cloak the nervous energy produced by anxiety, as well as punishing yourself for feeling the way you do.

So when you received the diagnosis of PTSD it gave you understanding of why you felt the way you did, but it did not give you positive coping methods, so you isolated as a way of dealing with the anxiety. As far as the molly-coddling; I think we all do that because PTSD is a kind of wound that brings its own suffering.

 

[hodge]

I drank a lot, too, before I got my diagnosis. I knew something was really wrong with me, but didn't know what it was till I went to therapy. Now I know when I'm overdoing things because I throw up. That is my final signal that I'm trying to do too much. It's unmistakable.