General PTSD & Having Children???

[blue_eyed_angel]

I posted this in the PTSD section also.. But I was just wanting some advice. Me and my boyfriend have discussed the whole having children issue. Not totally in depth but we have talked about it. I was just wanting some advice as to how bringing a child into a relationship where one partner has a diagnosis of PTSD, anxiety, and depression will work out?? If there are parents out there that would give their input I would greatly appreciate it. Thank You :smile:

 

[2quilt]

I decided not to spawn because I received no child-rearing training from my parents, who abused me. I have no patience with kids, their cries and high-pitch squeels make me want to suffocate them, etc.

If you are medicated, you cant take medication while pregnant.
Do you have a support network of people who will child sit when you have crises?
Will your PTSD make it hard to get pelvic exams monthly?

I am sticking to cats. It's hard to ruin a cat.

 

[nic]

Um, actually, there are medications you can take while pregnant. You should ask your own doctor, but mine said that Prozac is fine.

 

[catjudo]

There are other medications that can also be taken during pregnancy. I took Effexor XR toward the end of my pregnancy with no complications to myself or my daughter. I was extremely reluctant to do so but both my psychiatrist and OB-GYN convinced me it was more harmful to my baby to leave the depression untreated.

 

[2quilt]

Oops, my bad. I had heard that pregnant women could not take psych drugs because of how they affect the developing fetus, but I was wrong.

 

[blue_eyed_angel]

I am not the one that suffers from PTSD, anxiety, and depression. It is my boyfriend that is the sufferer. I am the carer in the equation. :smile:

 

[pandora]

PTSD, anxiety, depression...can be managed with very hard work.

I personally think that i am a very good Mom even with my PTSD...we have good days and bad days as do all people. My son also has high special needs. I have found that i have learned from him and he is a great support to me. Sure....I would love to be able to parent without this "monkey on my back" but I am living proof that with much hard work...it can be done. I think all of the self reflection that I have done has enabled me to be a good Mom in some ways....worse in others but communication is key too. Also, asking for help (though not always easy) well, you just have to do it. Just my opinion.

 

[Nicolette]

I am living proof that with much hard work...it can be done. I think all of the self reflection that I have done has enabled me to be a good Mom

Yes you are a good mom Pandora and good on you as I think you cope better than most considering your son requires some extra care. :smile:

 

[pandora]

Thanx for the positive post Nicolette.

 

[LuckyStar]

Children need love and guidance. If you and your boyfriend decide to have children and you both can love them and guide them that is good. Communication about what is happening and why will help them. Through our situation it is the one thing I feel was most important. We constantly talked with our sons and explained our views, thoughts, ideas whatever. They were allowed the same whether it be anger and frustration parents and children must feel safe to express themselves. If you can do that then explore the possiblity of children more.
Good Luck

 

[blue_eyed_angel]

LuckyStar thank you for your input. I would absolutely love to have children with this man. He is absolutely amazing!!! And would make a wonderful father. But the question that I still have for him is whether or not he "does" want kids. We discuss it but he never gives a straight forward answer. I know that I have many of years left where I can have children. He on the other hand is not getting any younger :). He's 36 and I am 22. So we'll just have to wait and see I guess.

 

[void]

:hello:Blue_eyed_angel,

Great thread!! When a man does not give you a straight answer he is definitely unsure and/or afraid. I would suggest that he ought to discuss this issue in depth with his T before making any choices.

I have C-PTSD+ 5 other dx from childhood trauma. When I was in my early 20's I made it impossible for me to have children because I would rather die than damage a child in any way. I love my nieces and nephews very much and have good relationships with all of them but that is not the same as being a healthy parent. Though many disagree with me, I KNOW that I could not handle the strain of being a parent and that my illnesses would negatively impact them in spite of my best efforts. Children with a parent that has a psychiatric illness(es) will know and they will be impacted. When a depressed parent withdraws from a child the child WILL take it the wrong way(that's just the way they are).

Good luck with these hard decisions:smile:
Hugs to you :Hug_emoticon:
Void