Relationship PTSD Husband And Scared Of Him

[schittig123]

My husband had surgery 2 weeks ago for a torn rotator cuff. He was diagnosed with PTSD about 2 years ago.

He is a letter carrier and puts all of his self esteem in his work. The doc says he has to be off work for 3 months. He was OK until yesterday when he started acting erratic, it is like he is on speed. He has been picking fights and he seems like he is going to explode!!

I am scared and don't know what to do!

 

[amethist]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

This must be really difficult for your right now, and I am not sure what is the best thing to first say to you. Apart from maybe please makes sure you have somewhere safe to go to if necessary.

Take a look at the carers section first, where you will find lots of information to help you, the sticky notes at the top are a good place to start. Read about boundary setting and all that you need to do so you feel safe in your own home.

I hope for both your sakes he is seeing a therapist and maybe on medication to help with his PTSD symptoms. If he is, it could help him come to terms with this extra stress on him now, by giving him a place to speak out about how this is effecting him on top of his PTSD.

The most important thing for you is to look after yourself, and don't let him take his stress of the situation out of you. It will be hard for you, but when he starts, just get up and very calmly say that you will not be spoken to in that way, and you will talk to him when he has calmed down. Then walk out of the room, don't go back until he is in a better frame of mind, where he can talk to you with respect.

Look after you and stay safe.

Amethist

 

[popeye]

Well I cannot really offer any advice for your particular situation but I can tell you how my wife and I handle my anger and rage. Usually I have an explosive temper. I can be fine one second and the next I will be like the incredible hulk. My wife just gives me my space and lets my rage play itself out. Usually given the opportunity I can realize where my anger is coming from and logically figure out how to calm myself. I do have to be careful when it comes to my children though because they can get on my nerves quickly. Usually I tell them Daddy needs a time out and I leave the room and do not come back until I can calmly explain to them what they did wrong and how to fix it.

Controlling your anger with PTSD is extremely tough for me and many others. Just remind your husband of who he is and that you love him. He will settle down eventually. Alot of us with PTSD make work our lives because at least then we can escape from our own thoughts and memories. Maybe he is having trouble because the things he has been avoiding in his mind are coming to the surface due to lack of something else to think about. Possibly try to get him doing one of his hobbies to get his mind off the bad things.