PTSD is back

[CourageofSnow]

Hi all,
It’s been a while since I last posted. My symptoms have recently returned in full force. 6 weeks ago I was triggered at a church camp. I have been back to the drs and she has doubled my antidepressants and put me on Valium as needed for the anxiety. I’ve managed to take the Valium once or twice a week but today I had a panic attack while cooking dinner. I self medicated with chocolate afterwards as I didn’t want to have a Valium unless I needed it and now I am feeling guilty. My youngest daughter witnessed the episode and I had to explain to her what was happening. I was so embarrassed.

I have an appointment with a psychologist in November (earliest I can get in). I’m feeling apprehensive about the coming months and have found myself not committing to social activites as I am not sure how I will be. I no longer work in paid employment although I do have a hobby business which allows me to work from home when I am well.

Any strategies that you have to offer on how I can get through the next couple of months until the psychologist appointment would be great. I really don’t want to have to take Valium long term.

 

[AliciaEff]

I’m sorry that your symptoms are back. What kinds of things make you feel safe? A lot of the anxiety of PTSD is feeling unsafe, which explains why you want to stay inside. I find hot chocolate to be comforting and I feel safer when I wear a big sweater, so on really bad days I wear comfy clothes and drink lots of hot chocolate.

Scents are a really good one, too because they are a relatively underused sense you can have strong emotions and memories attached to them. I used to carry a small tin of Hawaiin Tropic aloe vera because one summer when I was a kid I had a bad sunburn so I was wearing that stuff all the time, but it was a great summer, so the scent makes me feel nice.

Make sure to be nice to yourself. It’s okay if you can’t go outside sometimes and it’s okay if you need vallium every once in a while. I get that you don’t want to take them, but make sure you give yourself room to take care of yourself no matter what.

You’re doing great

 

[Changing4Best]

I feel safer when I am wearing a sweater or a jacket too, even in summer. I am glad you have a hobby. Can you expand on that, like maybe find additional things to sell in your hobby business that are related to your hobby? Do you have any pets, they can help to ground you. Speaking of grounding, do you know grounding techniques? If not, check into that. Also, there is a CBT/DBT email group here on this Forum that speaks of skills that can help to ground you, like mindfulness, for instance. Check out the Groups button above. You will find it there.

 

[CourageofSnow]

Thanks AliciaEff. I’ve found sitting on the couch with a doona over me and watching Netflix helps.

When I go outside I have a baggy hoodie that I like to wear. I often wear my sunglasses as well.

If I can have a shower each day, remember to eat, drink water and go for a walk I see that as a good day.

I haven’t thought about carrying something to smell. Hubby bought me perfume for mother’s day so I may need to start wearing that more often,

I run an online secondhand bookshop. I like to knit and crochet but it’s been hard to concentrate.

I tend to wear necklaces or bracelets that have edges so I can touch them and feel the shape in the moment. I try and tell myself where I am, that I am safe and look for things to see, hear and touch.

I have learnt to do deep breathing which helps calm the anxiety a little but it doesn’t stop the intrusive memories. I have this constant feeling of someone standing too close behind me even when I am at home. I find to stop this I have to have my back against something firm like the couch, bed or chair in a corner. I struggle with feeling unsafe, and i have lately had waves of terror wash over me. My body shakes so bad and I have this feeling of revulsion. Other people have noticed and commented on it.

I am practicing mindfulness as often as I can but I struggle with the body sensations as they sneak up on me.

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, It looks like you are doing all the right things. I wear necklaces and bracelets too. They do help! I wonder if some music might help you? Do you have any on your phone?

 

[CourageofSnow]

I had to take a Valium tonight. I was starting to cook dinner and then was startled by my daughter as she stood behind me while I was getting stuff out of the fridge. I was so terrified that I dropped the bottles of sauces I was holding and screamed. It took me a few minutes to come out of it. My

I haven’t got a specific playlist on my phone for anxiety. I may need to create one.

 

[Justmehere]

You can also search for info using the search bar on the forum and/or on your favorite search engine for “grounding techniques” to add more options to the good skills you are already using. Try using at least 5 techniques before taking the Valium. One great one for panic (like screaming after dropping sauce bottles) or panic attacks is to grab ice out of the freezer and hold it. Inpatient PTSD units use this all the time because it can be so effective in a crisis. Sour candy can work too. Engage as many senses as possible.

The idea is that the fight or flight jumpiness and anxiety is about the past, where the response makes sense, and grounding zaps the nervous system back to here and now, where it’s relatively safe, broken sauce bottles and all.

Benzodiazepines are ok for short term emergency use, but they come with some serious drawbacks and risks too, especially when used for more than 4 weeks (increased risks for breast cancer, Alzheimers, etc.) I’m glad you are cautious in their use. I’d suggest talking to the doc who prescribed them about other options as well, especially if you find that you need to use it more often for relief.

When I have to take them, I remind myself I’m not escaping the pain and anxiety, I’m delaying it until I can better cope with it. That’s a more realistic outcome and expectation for how they work.

PTSD stinks. I’m sorry it’s come back. :hug:

 

[StellaBlue]

I'm sorry your symptoms have returned @CourageofSnow. I got triggered last week - full blown panic attack and the subsequent return of some of my symptoms (which I think may actually be the "hangover" from the panic attack).

Regarding scents and grounding - I worked with a somatic experiencing therapist for about a year - she recommended peppermint essential oil. I've found that to be really helpful. Don't put it on your skin - I just open the bottle and breathe it in. I also have a diffuser, but recently read that it's not good for my pets, so I haven't been using it all that much.

Personally, I hate using ice - it feels punitive to me - but it does work to bring you back to the present.

 

[CourageofSnow]

Thank you. I will try the ice next time. I will also look at the other grounding techniques. Does drinking peppermint tea help? I have cats and a dog so don’t want to harm them by keeping essential oils.

 

[MyWillow]

I crunch ice. Normally it’s like fingernails down a blackboard. I walk in bare feet on cold surfaces. I stroke my dogs and cats. It’s a bonus if my cats get in my face and purr. I wrap myself in a blanket or curl up in bed with The Zoo. I wrap my arms around myself and remind my body that I’m safe now (thanks psydoc for that one). I weed the garden. Connecting with the earth helps.