For two months after Nathan and I broke up, David's and my relationship started to really get more emotionally involved...at least on my end. The term "love" was tossed around, as I thought he loved me and he kept speaking of leaving his girlfriend for me (according to him, he never felt the way that he did for her as he did for me). I believed him. I hoped, I prayed, and I knew it was wrong to hope and pray for such things. Why would you want to take someone else's happiness away, after all?!
I began to realize that this relationship wouldn't hold because he leased a small cottage for him and his girlfriend. He didn't mention to me that he did, as I found out from Will. He also didn't tell me that when he went to visit his girlfriend just before signing the lease on the cottage, he asked her to marry him. But even though I didn't know these things, I had started to pull away. It was toxic. It was wrong, and reality was quickly starting to kick in for me. He would still behave the way that he always did around me, being absorbed with how "beautiful" he thought I was, and how I would be an excellent mother for his children. That we could have a great life together as husband and wife.
I found that the best way to tear myself away from all of this was to make it clear to him that I was putting myself back on the market. I met someone incredible, actually (mind you, I am in a well committed relationship with this said incredible person, for over a year now, and he's sitting beside me as I write this, for support). I found a great interest in him (his name is Dan). He couldn't tell if I was in a relationship with Will or not, as he could only assume I wasn't in a relationship with David since David was in a "committed" relationship with his girlfriend of five years. I made it clear to Dan that I was not in a relationship with Will and that we were just friends, and Dan and I started to date one another. Casual dates, nothing serious but getting a feel for how one another's behavior and mentality is. I really started to like Dan, and even though I did not disclose details to David, because I wasn't moving on for his sake, rather my own, he still managed to get the impression that Dan and I were starting to see each other seriously.
When we were at the dive bar with our huge group of mutual friends, Dan was across the room at one point, and David purposefully pulled me in and in front of everyone gave me a big sloppy wet kiss on the cheek and a grab of my ass. I go so upset with David for doing that right then and there because I told him he was ruining my chances of actually developing a proper relationship with someone who I thought would make me very happy. David didn't care. Shortly thereafter, Dan came up to talk with me some more as we were now actually seeing each other exclusively but without titles, and nothing physical had developed yet in our relationship - not even hand holding. David was sitting beside me and trying to behaving in a manner I can't quite classify. It was as though he was verbally competing with Dan for my attention and trying to appeal to me how his father had so much money and how glorious his life was, meanwhile Dan was so levelheaded and down to earth trying to continue a decent conversation with me as David kept interrupting.
Dan and I both found it very odd.
On the fourth of July, Dan was out of town visiting his friends and I went to a birthday party that David was at. I hadn't talked with David in 2 weeks because I was trying to distance myself from him. David kept behaving as he usually did towards me and I started to soften up towards him. He pulled me aside at the end of the night and told me I didn't have to be so cold towards him. I said it was the only way I knew how to break this apart and it was best for both of us (At that time I didn't know he was engaged). It wasn't until the drive back I had that night while talking with Dan on the phone that Dan told me David was engaged. I didn't believe it. If anything, I was surprised that Dan knew and I didn't considering how close David and I had been when it happened.
I really began to pull away then. I stopped responding to his messages, his phone calls, and texts. Dan and I had a growing relationship and we were compatible on so many levels that after a little over a month of dating exclusively, we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend (a.k.a. official). There wasn't a moment I spent with Dan that he didn't have me smiling or vice versa.
Meanwhile, David fell off the face of the planet. He actually went missing, as I was told from Sam and Will. Will had called me crying one night because David went to an underground party of some sort and took some drug that had him hallucinating for days and essentially lost his mind because of his paranoia thinking the cops were after him. I got upset with Will for not communicating to me the details of this and not letting me reach out to him as a friend at all. I did nothing. I sat there and worried as a friend for someone whom I had thought was a friend. At the end of one week, Will was about to file a missing person's report and then David showed up out of nowhere. The night David showed up, he and Will went out to dinner blocks from my apartment. David messaged me shortly after Will told me he had found him and that David had his marbles again. David wanted to come over and see me; that's what he texted me. So I agreed.
David showed up at the back gate of my apartment at 11pm. I had just gotten off the phone with Dan where I had told him that I was going to go on a walk around the neighborhood with David to get some fresh air and see how he was doing. Dan told me not to stay out too late and to message him when I was going to go to bed regardless of the hour. When David showed up, he was pale as a sheet. He looked sickly, and not like himself. The color in his cheeks were completely gone and he was wearing ill fitting clothes that were loose and baggy on him, clearly that they weren't his clothes. David and I went on a walk. He kept eyeing me from the corner of his eye with his sick and twisted flirtatious smile. He kept trying to hold my hand or get close to me, and I kept keeping a distance and preventing him from touching me since I was now in a committed relationship with Dan at that point and I didn't want to repeat the mistake I had made in my last relationship due to David. Engaged David. David whose fiance had moved to town finally and was currently away on a backpacking trip for two weeks throughout all of this. Eventually, I suggested that we stop walking and I go drive him to In n Out to get a burger and fries in his system since even though he had gone out to dinner with Will just before, he said he couldn't remember the last day he had eaten. We walked back to my apartment, I got my car keys and I drove him to In n Out. We sat outside, now 1am, while he slowly ate the food I bought him, as he was trying to find every opportunity to open up to me. I kept asking him what had happened these last few days that he had gone missing, and he kept trying to tell me that he loved me - that no amount of time he ever spent with his fiance felt or compared to a moment he spent in my presence. That he was going to leave her after all.
I didn't fall for it. I kept reminding him that there was a reason why he had proposed to her and that he should remember that and focus on that.
I had promised myself that night that under no circumstances would I permit him to actually enter my apartment because it wouldn't be right to my relationship with Dan and because after everything David had put me through it would be the right thing to do to keep him out. Surely enough, David's exhaustion swept over him, and he asked if we could go talk in my apartment where it wasn't cold out and he could have time to sit and talk with me a little while longer. I consented only under the circumstances that he drive home and that I follow behind him to make sure he got home safely and then I would return to my own apartment once he got to his house. That never actually happened even though he agreed upon it.
We went upstairs to my apartment and he sat on my bed, looked around and started to continue talking. Eventually after a while he laid down and ended up falling asleep, saying he wanted to take a short nap because he hadn't slept in a week. He laid down on the bed, fully clothed, and I laid down on the floor after about an hour of just sitting there waiting for him to wake up. He never did. My back started to hurt through the night when laying on the floor. So I draped a blanket over him on my bed and climbed up onto my bed to lay on the other side. I even put a pillow between the two of us to make sure he didn't do anything if he got tempted. He was under the blanket, and I was on top of the blanket on the other side of the bed.
Morning came and my 7am alarm went off. I rolled over to reach to the other side of the bed where my alarm was (and where he lay), to turn it off, and he woke up, looking at me with a smile on his face. He tried to kiss me but I kept pulling away to stop him from doing so, and since the only exit to my bed was to climb over him, it wasn't like I had an exit route available. I was blocked by the wall on my side of the bed. I didn't let him kiss me, but instead he ended up climbing on top of me, pulling my sweatpants and panties off from under my butt just enough to expose my privates, and he laid on top of me, holding my arms down with his. He forced his way in, as I was neither ready nor willing to have sex with him, and I told him to stop. I told him to get off me. I told him to stop, I pressed my knees together hard, which managed to push him out while he was trying to thrust in again, and eventually he only managed to rub his privates on mine and between my legs, not actually inside of me anymore. I kept telling him to stop, and I cared about him but that he really needed to stop, and he kept telling me that he loved me. The tears were coming as I was panting and telling him to stop and he just kept going until he finally was ready to finish, he cupped his hand in front of him and came into his hand. My legs had been shaking for too long trying to fight him and as soon as he got off of me, he went to wash his hands.
I got up and gathered my things to shower, my face covered in tears and me still crying. I told him that I was going to shower and that when I got out of the bathroom that he had better be gone from my apartment. I went to shower. For what felt like an eternity, I sat on my shower floor while the water poured over me and I just cried. I cried quietly because I didn't want him to hear, God forbid he were to come in (my bathroom door did not have a lock). I got the courage to get up eventually and showered as I had to start getting ready for work. Being an hourly employee was difficult because if you don't work you don't get paid, so taking the day off was out of the question. I showered, and then came out of the bathroom only to find that he was still there, dressed, and sitting at my desk staring at my cork board which had a note on it that Dan had written for me. The note said "You are beautiful. -Babycakes". I told David that he had to leave. I said "I told you to stop over and over again, that this is wrong, that you're engaged and I'm in a relationship. I didn't want this. I told you to stop but you just kept going. Why didn't you listen to me!?". He said "I just couldn't help myself. I love you". He then told me that I was too stubborn to understand that I was the one for him but that he was bound by obligation to marry his fiance because he had been dating her for as long as he had. I didn't care what he said at that point. He had done what he had done and I had not agreed to it. I knew he had known what he was doing was wrong because he finished in his hand when he did it. He MUST have known.
