Question For Female Members.

[Chincho]

I hope it's okay to talk about feminine hygiene products, but I apologize if it isn't...

I was sexually abused as a child and "forgot" about it until I was about 42 years old.

I never had any problems using tampons at all until memories of my abuse came back to me. Now I just can't seem to place them right, or they somehow try to slip down or whatever, but I find them uncomfortable and painful to use. It's been getting worse and worse over the past four years, to the point that I don't even try using them anymore because sometimes even my tummy hurts. (Actually, my tummy is hurting just writing about it!)

It's really unconfortable during summer time, but I just can't stand them.

I will talk about it with my therapist next week, but I was wondering if something like this has ever happened to any of you, and if it has what have you done about it?

 

[anonymous]

Yes. And what I've done about it is I've just chosen to use pads instead. I don't see the point in stressing myself over it when there are alternatives.

I think it is probably connected to body memories and an automatic response to not wanting to be aware of something inside me. The body trying to reject it perhaps in a protective way?

 

[rightkindofme]

Years ago I read a book: c*nt: A Declaration of Independence by Inga Muscio. It's not a trauma book at all but it talks a lot about the relationship that women have with their err, bits.

I started using cloth pads then. I like Lunapads. I don't like disposable pads at all--I find them horribly uncomfortable. When I am doing long distance running (I started my period at mile 13 in a marathon--that sucked) I will rarely use a tampon because the pads chafe like crazy with running--I've given myself blisters. Ouch. They don't chafe with normal use. :)

I have occasionally used Instead cups and I don't like them but they are better than tampons. I'm not sure why.

I really just don't like tampons. They make me feel really bad and like I can never stop thinking about my vagina.

 

[arfie]

I hope it is okay to talk about it, too. For me, it is too big a piece of my PTSD puzzle.

Yes, I have experienced similar. Very similar. Pads were my on-the-go solution. Literal rags were my most comfortable solution. Didn't take much to fold a soft rag to my personal shape and activity level of the day. My personal favorite remedy to date has been menopause. Just gotta give a gloat over being able to write that part in the past tense. I don't get to gloat much these days. Seize the moment???

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I have hated those things since forever, always used pads but I'm likewise more comfortable with just a rag... I like the idea of those cloth pads... going to look them up :) apparently those massively sold pads are also filled with chemicals and crap that you kind of don't want down there...

While we're on the topic of that area I've actually developed hatred of your mainstream underwear too... everything is so tight and just kind of a jailhouse for your ass... so I tried looking for underwear that's more loose, kind of like the things men wear, but then women-style... can't find any anywhere. So I fashioned my own xD It feels much better

 

[arfie]

@Radise
Share your dislike for "Victoria's Secrets." They feel like a cross between a premeditated wedgie and a microbial incubator. When I gots to wear them at all, I use workout shorts. Athletic department.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

a cross between a premeditated wedgie and a microbial incubator

Best description ever. I hadn't though of workout shorts! That might just be the answer to my issue, as I severely lack patience when it comes to sewing. I just cut the current ones out of old summer pants. Thanks for the idea :)

 

[StarChild]

Now I just can't seem to place them right, or they somehow try to slip down or whatever, but I find them uncomfortable and painful to use.

Hi Chincho,I had the same problems; The tampons often moved to lie diagonally which felt very unpleasant and it hurt much too. In my posting I will go only for the physical aspects.

sometimes even my tummy hurts.

The reason for this could be an anatomic as well; Once the tampons lies diagonally, it can push hard not only towards the vaginal wall but the towards colon too. And this often can be a cause of pain. Especially if one suffers of chronic constipation, or the rectum isn't empty.

Another cause of pain by using tampons could be this: During menstruation not only the uterus contracts, but often the vaginal walls can be very tensed or even tend to cramp too. This too can make it quite painful to wear a hard "foreign body" like a tampon.

Since about 10 years I use MENSTRUAL SEA SPONGES (I don't use that synthetic b*llsh*t, only the natural ones!). You often can buy such special sponges in a drug store or a pharmacy as well. They're really great! I love to use them for they are so very smooth, hygienic, easy to handle. And they're for me the most natural things to use. And by the way, I really prefer an oval or round shape, as I find the "torpedo"-like-shape of the usual tampons very unnatural. :woot: But that's just my personal sentiment.

I put some links in, hope it helps! :):

Dead Link Removed

By browsing the net, I found the explanation on the link below very helpful, as it not only explains the sponge, but also explains the correct use and cleaning of such a sponge. PLEASE NOTE: I have nothing to do with the company that sells such sponges, I don't have any financial or other advantages and I don't promote their product! As Menstrual Sea Sponges can easily be found by google them!
Link Removed (correct use and cleaning)

 

[The Albatross]

Difficulty with tampons and one of the few things I am grateful for post hysterectomy. No more menses I had quite extreme difficulties during that time and actually seriously considered and asked a physician about "toxic shock". Of course now I know it could have been an allergic reaction. I was in the pad camp as much of a pain as that was. .

 

[macca]

Well, when I first tried to use them at 13-14 years, I had terrible trouble (more than the average I suspect, certainly a crazy amount more than my closest friend). Even the ones that came with the applicator. They just would NOT go in. That was before I realised something may have happened to me as a 3 year old. I really wanted to use them though, so I kept trying and after quite a long time (maybe 12-18 months of trying) was gradually able to start using them. Now I haven't got any problems with them, even though now in my early forties I've hit a very bad patch and been diagnosed. I hope I don't either, I find them too convenient. But I certainly wouldn't bother going to that amount of trouble ever again.

On a related but even more sensitive note - and don't feel obliged to answer - but something along this line has troubled me for some time. On losing my virginity (to my future husband), there was of course some pain, but hardly any blood. I was expecting bleeding, but there was barely anything at all. Is that normal? Or maybe a reflection of something that may have happened as a young child (which I only have flashbacks for, no memories). I know on it's own it isn't enough information, just wondering though, as it's always kind of bothered me.

 

[HelenB]

@macca that is something I have looked up before and from what I read I am pretty sure that it just varies a lot from person to person. Some people have more pain, some bleed and some don't, and it does not seem to correlate with other things. It was a while ago when I looked it up and I don't remember the sources, but know this is the conclusion I came to when thinking about it, but can relate to your thinking about it and questioning it all.

Helen

 

[rightkindofme]

Losing your virginity is not always a messy process. The hymen can be broken in a wide variety of non sexual scenarios and sometimes people just have a very thin membrane. :)