Question From An Employer

[KVal]

I have a question that comes from the other side. I have a young woman working for me that has PTSD. She's been out on disability for almost 7 months now. I'd love for her to come back, both because I think it's important for her personally and because she's a valuable member of our team here.

I've offered work from home and part time options as a way to encourage her to take the leap. I'd also like to better understand some of the issues and fears that have held others back because I'd like to find ways to address them or mitigate them.

 

[DMerish]

Hi KVal,

Thanks for posting; you bring up an important issue.

I was a nurse former to coming in to my current line of work, which deals with HR issues among other things. I have mild/moderate PTSD and my daughter has severe PTSD due to violent (messy) trauma event.

Are you in the U.S.? I'm in the U.S., so not familar enough with other countires' HR practices.

 

[KVal]

I'm in the US, but my question isn't really HR related. Helping her get her life back has kind of become a personal priority for me. I don't care if she makes much of a contribution for a long time. I'm more interested in helping her regain some confidence and get back on the right track.

The work environment here is fairly unstructured and I have a lot of discretion around her role and schedule. However, I suspect she has some fears that I don't fully understand and that she may not necessarily be comfortable sharing with me.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Helping her get her life back has kind of become a personal priority for me.

Why 'personal priority'?

You are her employer and 7 months is a long time to wait for her. I guess I am confused by your level of intimacy you seem to have with her.

 

[KVal]

We've worked together for almost 5 years and she is a friend. It's nothing more that that. If she came back and working helped her condition improve and she decided to move onto a different job I'd be fine with it. I'd just like to help her get better.

 

[SNS]

Could you write her a letter stating your support and asking if there is any material she thinks you would find helpful.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I think You need to get some balls and ask her. Just a hint. My bad I have an inner child that is my Psych.

 

[DMerish]

Helping her get her life back has kind of become a personal priority for me.

Why is that?
In essence, the two of you have a business relationship not a personal one.

 

[KVal]

Wow. Everyone on this board seems surprisingly hostile. As I said, I'm not sure she would share all her fears with me. We work in a male dominated industry (finance). It's one where personal vulnerability could be a problem. As a woman working in a man's world myself, I became a mentor to her but there is still a limit to our relationship. As a result, I felt that I might find some insights here.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I think you should listen to what your heart really says. You have to listen and turn your phone off. You'll know what to do if you contemplate it for a while.

 

[Maggiemay]

I personally think it's amazing that you want to understand her condition better so you can help.

I returned to work in November part time, before returning full time in January after a 4 month sickness due to severe PTSD symptoms. I have luckily now got a new job, starting in a week, after they were incredibly judgemental and discriminatory towards me, not taking my difficulties into account at all...:(

If only there was more bosses out there like you!

 

[DMerish]

Everyone on this board seems surprisingly hostile

On the contrary, KVal. (1) Many initial posts don't disclose enough information for folks here to access rightly how to respond and (2) we, in general, are alert to boundry making and breeches.

We've worked together for almost 5 years and she is a friend

If that were true, your friend (ahem) co-worker, would have given you more insight into her situation and what she needs/would like from you, or her employer by now. Business wise, and "friend wise", the appropriate thing would be to simply send her a card (if she's given you her personal address) that is sort of neutral yet upbeat and and invitiing, i.e. something that says (or you can write), "Hey, hoping you make it back to work soon. Give me a call if you'd like to meet for lunch before you do. Best regards, _________. When/If you talk/get together, don't prod - let her open up if she wants to.

Your mentor role, I'm assuming from what you wrote, pertained to her career, not her personal life. Is that right?

Whether you are the employer, her boss, or just another co-worker acting on your "personal priority" to help her can expose the company and/or yourself to legal implications if the company, or you, did anything that could be perceived as contributing to her unfavorable state. I am very familiar with working in Finance (my position now is in Internal Controls and Ethincs).

As for understanding what she might be feeling, go to the help pages - read through the descriptions, then imagine how you might feel. Sometimes, many people feel as if they are wired for 110 but have been plugged into a 220 world and they can't keep up. The stress is too much. At other times one can feel as if they are wired for 220 but the rest of the world is opeating on 110; therefore, their behavior seems somewhat frantic - out of sorts, etc. Stress / balance / self-care can be real challenging.

Good luck,
Drew