Question From An Employer

[oneandonlyMOM]

I too wish there were more people like you. I was in your co-workers situation, went on ST disability and reached out for anyone's help to accommodate my condition. Unfortunately, no one would stick their neck out in these tough economic times. After 10+ years with the company, I was terminated and haven't worked since. My confidence is low in finding work.... Really just finding any faith in people .

 

[Padfoot]

I've had this entire year off work, may or may not be back at work next year, and would probably get really offended if someone told me that it's in my best interest to return to work. Not meaning to be hostile at all, just being honest.

 

[Powder]

Any developments?

I hope she is okay.

 

[KVal]

No real update. She's still out, receiving LTD; we still keep in contact. She's in contact with some other friends here at the office as well. She still has anxiety issues and suffers from a lot of the common symptoms I've read about on these forums but she does seem to be taking some steps in a positive direction in her personal life.

For the last month or so she's been a bit less responsive to me and others here. As a quasi-supporter that's tough because it's very easy to read things into every comment (or lack of comment) regardless of how small. It may be that she's moving on, which would be great for her although terrible for me from a professional standpoint...I really need her help here at work. However, it may just be that she's been busy or having a tough time with the holidays.

I've been successful in keeping HR at bay for the time being. That won't last forever. Still the situation is frustrating because PTSD is so poorly understood. I confess that until this situation arose, I had no real idea about it either. For example, someone found some pictures of her online somewhere enjoying time with her family and friends and commented that "she seems to be having a pretty good life, why would she ever want to work again give how good she's got it". It's hard to hear that kind of stuff since I know how difficult the past year for her has really been and the difficult road she still has ahead.

 

[Ghostybear73]

I commend you for wanted to help her. My biggest concern would be lawsuits. Then I would be concerned of hurting her more than helping her. You being her employer, it can be seen as favoritism and cause you a lot of problems. Also having a personal relationship with an employee can cause you problems, especially in the United States. Harassment, discrimination and many other things come to mind. I know this sounds wrong, but a person with PTSD, who may "feel" backed into a corner can panic and see just one way out, which may be a harassment charge, you just never know. We are so unpredictable at times. At least that is the case for me.

Taking me for example; if my boss was offering ways for me to come back to work when I wasn't ready or didn't feel I could, I would feel cornered. Think about it for a minute. Someone is providing me with every opportunity to be successful and I can't (or won't) take them up on it, I would feel like I was being ungrateful or maybe as though I was letting you down or that I was just a downright failure to you and to myself. This leads to feelings of uselessness and ultimately kicks me into suicidal mode. Not saying this would happen to your employee, but they are things that can happen with PTSD.

I agree with the majority of the people here, send a get well card letting her know that she is missed, but by everyone, not just you. Let her know that she has the support of everyone in the office and her job is not in jeopardy. Then make sure she has your business phone to contact you when she wants to come back.

Nothing personal.....personal can be scary for a person with PTSD.

 

[billie]

Not sure if this will help but think basic. Eye contact is vital to gain trust (if you can). Unfortunately patience is vital too. I would research into how therapists gain trust from clients as this could be a good example how to effectively communicate to a ptsd sufferer. Good luck please dont give up on your employee.

 

[KVal]

I'm not giving up. People think it's crazy that I haven't but I feel I owe her that at a minimum given the help she has given me over the years. Sometimes I think I'm crazy too but at this point I'm all in anyway.

I've only seen her a handful of times in person since she went out on disability, but I do feel we have a solid relationship and I'm confident I have her trust. We communicate mostly via email and on the phone. All I really can do is wait until she's ready to take her next step and hope for the best.