Reactions To Massage

[jasmin]

Hey so I got another one and it was AMAZING. Surprisingly I didn't feel as vulnerable as I thought I would. I recognized that my trigger areas are my neck, back and shoulders.. that's where I keep all the tension. The masseur this time was aware of my sensitivity and I felt comfortable. Having the arms and legs massaged as well was great. The calves were so good! It was like she was pushing all the tension out of my fingertips.

My neck, shoulders and back are still f*cked though, despite the fact they were massaged.. maybe that was it.. but probably not. Think I need an anvil ditched at me to break through that tension- lol.

 

[Reclusive]

I also believe that feelings can be stored in the body. What you may consider doing is practicing sort of a moving meditation to stretch out your muscles as well. Moving your body in new ways can release new emotions and kind of 'wake up' your muscles so they realize there's other things they could be doing as well.

My shoulder/neck/back are almost always tense as well, but I'm able to relax them by concentrating on it. I attribute that to being a dancer and doing a lot of yoga and movement exercises. Plus my mother taught yoga and meditation when I was little, so that helps. Give me a good Savasana any day!

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

Hey so I got another one and it was AMAZING.

I happy to see your were able to get and enjoy another massage. Good for you!:)

I just started getting massages again to help with the stress of PTSD and muscle aches I still get from the car accident. The RMT I had years ago is no longer at the clinic, so I have a new RMT. The first thing I let her know was about the PTSD and car accident. The first session I had problems breathing with my face on the face rest and started to panic. At the next session the RMT had tons of extra pillows and had me lie on my side and back for the session. It worked great because I had plenty of air and was able to relax. The massages work for me.

 

[Kb3]

"I also believe that feelings can be stored in the body".

I also believe that memory is stored on a cellular level, and that while the mind may be able to chase the bad memories around our grey matter indefinitely, that the body cannot and will not ever forget the things that have happened to us.

Unlocking bad memories through body work of any kind, be it massage, yoga or therapy allows me to explore hideous realities in a safe setting and then achieve resolution.

 

[Reclusive]

Ooooh, Eat! You make an excellent point and I agree with you. I'm a dancer some days and I haven't danced in... let's say... 4 or 5 months. Part of it is because I was adjusting to new meds, but part of it was fear. I don't know where the fear was coming from, but I think you hit it - I think I was afraid of unlocking memories and feelings and so avoided movement, even the joyous kind. I feel like my mind is totally blown - thank you!

 

[Kb3]

Good for you Reclusive for connecting the desire to shut down physically as a way to avoid feeling pain. Getting safely back in to movement can help prove to ourselves that even though we may have been helpless at one point in our lives, we aren't now. I wish you a lot of luck in reconnecting with that part of your life:).

 

[racquel1x]

Mine is all stored in body, it has calmed a lot since original onset but my shoulder is still stuck forward where I held it, my boyfriend walked behind me in the kitchen this morning and the muscle contracts and twitches up down for danger. Don't like anyone walking behind me, back turns to concrete and has only just stopped crackling like Rice Krispies . Left shoulder goes up a notch to anything I don't like and body visibly moves in towards me well shoulders if anything gets too close like a doorframe for instance or small spaces. Sometimes body throws itself into positions I walked around in when I was in trauma and my muscles rip .. A year of pain and walking around like a monkey, spine being pulled forward and spazzy shoulders everyday at least the violent muscle jerking has stopped in my back. I have contacted a somatic therapist to start a plan to reeducate my body :)

 

[The Albatross]

I actually flunked massage and continued to flunk massage for a good while. My first experience was a gift certificate. I could not relax and not only wouldn't relax but would tense up hard on the table causing the masseuse a lot of angst. She literally chased, worked on the tension in my body for 90 minutes. It was an altogether bad experience for both her and me. She literally though worked on me so hard (high pain threshold) that sweat was dripping off her and she was very tired (with 3 more appointments that day after me). I gave her half the 90 minute fee as a tip because I felt so bad.

This experience though identified a problem area for me. For a while (about 3 years) massage became part of my recovery and though I still am not able to dissolve into complete relaxation, I am much better than I was. My masseause's were female... and I have to say another "gift certificate" gave me a hell of a reaction when I allowed (one time) a male who seemed to be okay at massage but remarked about my skin (a compliment) - I disassociated and don't remember much til he left the room and I was collecting my things.

I actually became comfortable with touch... though I don't have enough money to keep it up as part of a regular regimen. I switched to rolfing for about 3 years afterward because it was deeper than deep tissue and I had structural/postural issues (and it was a woman meaning no threat).

I can tolerate touch from my spouse or my senior/elder male clients... in a very structured/nonsexual way. I still got some work to do as my body can not/will not relax. Makes some things very difficult. I keep my nose to the grindstone though and continue exposures thinking one day it will happen and I will be able to genuinely relax... it just hasn't happened yet.

 

[The Albatross]

Holy crap this is a very old thread. It is good though @racquel1x that you identified this, and are taking steps to resolve or improve it. I hold tension (a fair amount) every day in my body... but nowhere near what I had about a decade ago. I was wound up so tight if I strained a muscle it would tear. I tore my Traps a couple of times (trapezius)... two masseuses called me a "turtle" because try as they might they couldn't get me to come out of my hard "shell" and be relaxed (which to me meant vulnerable).

 

[racquel1x]

Hey yes I am trying somatic movement to try and unlock my body. I went to London yesterday and she got my shoulder down 25% it wont stop fear responses that my muscles have learned but I've got to try and work on mind and body as a whole . My body sense so overwhelmed it is like the radar is always on with flicks and jerks all day and if someone walks behind me my shoulders goes out to protect me and I have to physically move and let them past as I can't stand the contractions I get in my back (yes turtle shell) I was stalked 14 years ago I had 2 years ptsd free after cbt I met him and conquered my fear but hey last summer high anxiety somatised in my muscles and bingo it reactivated it and I relived it all again but worse because this time my body failed. Physical changes so great I cannot lead a normal life and I have to check people to make sure they are not stalkers even though i know it's not real!! Take a look at Martha Peterson and somatic movement and how to free habitually contracted muscles ... She has some videos on her website and YouTube but it's called pandiculation, you contract the muscle past the point of contraction slowly lengthen and relax it teaches the brain to reset . I know what you mean about vulnerable my body thinks everyone and everything is dangerous and maybe if I find the right therapies we can teach my mind it's not real and perhaps that will go a way to helping my bodily reactions :)

 

[racquel1x]

Am trying acupuncture next week too meant to calm down the nervous system I hear and hopefully help with the pain !!