Reading Session Notes - More Depressed

[canucklady]

I asked for copies of session notes because insurance denied std claim. So I am debating whether or not to hire a lawyer to fight it. Just seems so exhausting at the moment.

Anyway, lawyer said she would need session notes, so I got copies yesterday.

Reading them made me sad. I don't remember many parts of session, I knew that already, but didn't realize how much I don't remember.

Plus to see all the dx in writing, just seems so overwhelming...Complex PTSD, ED, Major Depression with anxiety, depersonalization.

So much to work on, yet doesnt seem like am making any progress. Might not have been such a good idea to read notes on my own.

 

[Tessa]

Sending you hugs - this is a hard thing to do.
Take care

 

[canucklady]

not sure how to tell T that reading her notes made me feel worse. I mean there really were no surprises in there, I am aware I dissociate and am anxious. But I thought I hid it well, knowing that she is that observant, I guess makes me feel self-conscious. Plus not sure I want my lawyer to have these notes now. Not sure I want other people knowing how unstable I really am. Also, this is worst time of year for me anyway, just lots of things happening all at same time. so so exhausting, how do i explain to t that am just tired all the time, no matter how much i sleep, just feel drained.

 

[Javagoat]

Discussing the notes with your T would be hard but it seems like the right thing to do. Hopefully, she could help you manage the sadness around her Dx and observations. It sounds like hard stuff to work through on you own. Take care.

 

[shadowchaser]

It always feels like your not getting anywhere. I almost always feel like that. But you have made some steps forward. You are looking for help. Remember how scary it was when you first set off to get the help? And now you are there. It's just another step. Each one is as terrifying as the last but you did manage to get up that last one. Just don't look back and keep trudging on. We are all here with you in spirit.