Really bad night

Friday

Moderator
I haven't told a lot of people yet but everyone that I have is filling my head with the millions of reasons why this is a bad idea, why I am just running away, avoiding the situation at work etc. Then they start in on how expensive it is live where I am going, how different the climate is and how I am going to hate it, or how it is all going to be completely new and I am going to fail and I am right back to telling myself how stupid I am, this is me being impulsive which never works out well for me.
You’re just SURROUNDED with little Bluebirds of Happiness... aren’t you? 🤔 Chaseus. With friends like these, just brimming over in faith & confidence in your capabilities, who needs enemies??? Do they kick puppies, too?


When your coworkers tell you that you're making a mistake by finding another job, don't they realize that you are losing the job you have now?
Ditto. Being fired? Is not “running away”. What did these little birds 🐦 want you to do? Weep & wail & rend your clothes & cut your hair? Sure! That’ll show ‘em! You won’t take being fired laying down! You’ll wallow in misery doing nothing of value, instead! Snort. Of COURSE you’re going to find a new job. That’s what one does when one job goes away; one gets a new job. That you got snatched up right away? Is hardly a) unexpected nor b) something to try and use to convince you is a bad thing & a mark against you. Unless, apparently, you’re these eedjits. WTFO?


What was I thinking? As miserable as I was in my job I hadn't planned to do any major search outside of the State where I lived until after he graduated from college.
College kids? Never springbreak in Florida. Nor are flights wicked cheap all. winter. long. to attract the snowbirds on budgets, broke college kids, and families vacationing on credit. There’s certainly nothing in sunny Florida (from the redneck riviera -only a hop skip and a jump from NOLA- on the gulf coast, to the Latin pulse of Miami or the tropical Keys to the south, Central’s escapist fantasy lands, or hundreds of miles of prime Atlantic coastline) that might tempt a young buck and his friends to visit every chance they get.

Wait...

You may well end up seeing him more often than you do, just a few hours away. Especially if you start saving/using air miles, getting travel deals, etc.? The expense of flying to tourist destinations is often far less than 8 hours worth of gas, and new snow tires / winter vehicle maintenance.


we had just arranged a schedule for the next couple of months where that was not only going to be possible but also reasonable in terms of when I would need to leave from work
Murphy’s law, that... as it no longer matters what your old job (who fired you, not that you’re leaving on a whim) would find reasonable. As you don’t work there, anymore. Even if you stayed in state, that’s no guarantee that the new job would work with told jobs ideal therapy schedule. Vexing as hell, but such is life. And not somehing to blame yourself for. You didn’t create this situation. The Board did. You? Are responding to the situation quickly, decisively, and proactively. That’s a GOOD thing. Not some sort of self sabotagy way to avoid therapy thing, or impulsive reckless thing. When the chips are down? You are HANDLING it. With serious aplomb. A bit of good luck helped with that, as new job was able to snatch you up immediately instead of it being months of interviews in a drawn out hiring practice. You couldn’t have planned on things happening so quickly, you’re simply seizing the opportunity presented. Very different things.

Yes... acting swiftly means that there’s a little less time to prepare than you’d like... but it’s certainly better than the alternative of being stuck interview cycles for 6 months with half a dozen jobs, all waiting until the next quarter (or the next after that) to bring you on. Then it would be a question of being broke or living on credit, not able to pay for therapy at all, and a thousand other problems. Yes. There are problems that come along with swift changes. But the problems that come along with sloooooooow changes? Are arguably quite worse.
 
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scout86

MyPTSD Pro
Another vote for "you're not an idiot".

Now might be a time to take a deep breath and pause to reflect, not react. I don't think you're irrevocably committed to anything as of yet. I'm not going all gung ho, "take the new job" for a couple reasons. It might really be the thing to do, but you haven't struck me as someone who likes radical change, so a cross country move is a big deal for the reasons you just mentioned. Beyond that, you mentioned "Florida". This is just me, but I lived there for two years and it's the only place I've ever lived I wouldn't want to go back to, and I've lived a lot of places. I'm actually not sure there's a reason good enough to make ME want to live there again. But, the stuff I disliked (weather, bugs, Yankee jokes) might not bother you at all. Besides, I was in north FL and that's more "southern" than south FL.

Do you know, for sure, that you're going to get fired from your current job? Have you had a "clearing the air" type conversation where you are now? Because it seems really odd that things went from fine to not fine without them giving you a clue. Like the most of the rest of us, I think you're hypervigilant enough that you'd have picked up on an off vibe even if it WASN'T there. How to you really feel about your current job? Do you actually like it, or is it just better than nothing and less stressful than change? Would it be worth trying to sort things out? What about the new job? Does it sound like something you actually want to do, or just better than being unemployed? I can't help but think if this job showed up so quickly, there's a good chance something else will show up too, if you're looking and let people know you're available. (Do you qualify for unemployment?)

I honestly don't know what the best thing for you to do is. You're the only one who can really decide that. But you're plenty capable of making a good decision. Take your time. Think it through. Maybe list pluses and minuses? (That helps me.) And keep in mind there are generally more than 2 choices.
 

Justmehere

Sponsor
I haven't told a lot of people yet but everyone that I have is filling my head with the millions of reasons why this is a bad idea, why I am just running away, avoiding the situation at work etc.
Who are these pessimists? I get the sense the folks you have told don't want to let you go. I have a good friend that just announced a move out of state. I had a sudden impulse to tell them why they shouldn't but when I put my own feelings aside I realized it was a good thing for them to do for their life. So I celebrated it. And damn, I'm going to miss them. Sounds like you might have a few folks that will miss you too.

This is a fantastic way to deal with the situation. It shows acceptance, resilience, moving to an area with possibly better heathcare options...

Consider that the folks giving this input might have their own reasons other than your best interests and might be projecting their own stuff on you.
 
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