Really Scared - Bosses Change When Knowing About PTSD

[Marlene]

My boss is making my life miserable lately. Every since I told him about my diagnosis, he's been totally different to me. Yesterday, he asked me if I was going to attend a company luncheon, I forgot who I was speaking to for a moment (I've made it a point not to talk to him about anything dealing with PTSD) and told him I wasn't sure. He asked why and I told him I didn't do well in crowds. He told me that that was weird. When I told him he was entitiled to his opinon, but not entitled to call names, he started screaming at me and then told me to get out of his office. I ended up taking an extra dose of my meds to get myself calmed down. Then he calls me back into his office about 15 minutes later and asked me if I was ready to talk. Like it was me who had had the temper tantrum. I tried (again) to explain that with PTSD, there are things that trigger stress in me and crowds are one of them. He just kept saying he didn't understand and guessed he wasn't in the loop.

I spoke with a co-worker who has PTSD and has been down the same road with our company that I'm going down now. He tells me the first thing I need to do it get a letter from my doctor explaining the PTSD and what problems can come from too much stress and give it to my boss and to the human resources department. I looked up on my company's intranet today what their policy was for ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act). It states, in examples of what is a disability, mental illness. I guess this would fall under that category. I'm also going to speak with my SIL on Thursday at Thanksgiving dinner. She's a paralegal for one of the biggest law firms in town and ask her what my rights are. I may even ask her if she knows of a lawyer who specializes in this type of thing to get some advice.

What I'm really scared about it that I'm going to lose my job because of this. My husband is on workers comp for who knows how long and I need this job. I also get my benefits (insurance) from my job and I can't afford my therapist without insurance. I like my job and I do a good job and I just want my boss to leave me alone or get a transfer to a different department or something. I'm not looking to start a war with my company, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm fighting really hard not to stress out over this, but, it ain't working too well.

 

[canucklady]

I am in Canada, so I am not sure entirely if this applies to you in the States. But I think it Disability Act is almost the same. I don't think you need to disclose all the details of what type of illness you have. All you need is a note from doctor stating that you have a disability and that you can't do certain things, being around crowds being one of them. I dont know if I am making any sense. But what I worked in a hospital, so our HR dept was really good at just accepting Medical Certificate stating that I needed to work flex hours due to disability. There were no specifics. Your HR dept shoudl be able to help you with what you need. Also I don't know about losing your job, I think that depends on type of company you work for.

 

[goingonhope]

He asked why and I told him I didn't do well in crowds. He told me that that was weird. When I told him he was entitiled to his opinon, but not entitled to call names, he started screaming at me and then told me to get out of his office. I ended up taking an extra dose of my meds to get myself calmed down. Then he calls me back into his office about 15 minutes later and asked me if I was ready to talk. Like it was me who had had the temper tantrum. I tried (again) to explain that with PTSD, there are things that trigger stress in me and crowds are one of them. He just kept saying he didn't understand and guessed he wasn't in the loop.

Marlene your boss clearly doesn't understand squat, nor seems to care to. I wish I had some advice for you. Hoping you get some help and advice on Thursday, from the woman you'll be speaking with. Sorry to be so blunt but your boss sounds like an a'hole and a few other words, I won't mention. Well anyway's, if you can make your Thanksgiving a nice one, please do so regardless of his ignorance. And, I hope you do whatever you must to settle this.

 

[anthony]

You know Marlene, you are in a very fortunate position to be in employment with another person who has PTSD. I think you should tap them for advice, because they have already walked the path with that company, which means your path can be a whole lot easier if you take their advice, use commonsense if they have really out there type things, and put together from them what you believe is best for you. They have experience... and that is hard to come by. Use their experience Marlene.

You see, they said get a letter from your doctor outlining all the issues with PTSD that will effect your job, and then your talking about lawyers. You are looking too far at this point, and possibly will only aggrivate your situation beyond what it needs be. If your boss ignored your doctors letter, then that would be a reason for a lawyer, otherwise keep them out off it and use your colleagues experience to help you.

You see, your worried about losing your job because of PTSD, but lets look factually here... in that you work with another person who also has PTSD and the company knows about it. Have they lost their job? No... so why would you? Your using typical over-generalization thinking styles, which are a negative way to think... yes, caused by PTSD, but often used without PTSD even.

 

[Remnarc]

Marlene

http://www.usdoj.gov/crt/ada/adahom1.htm

You are covered as an American under The Americans with Disabilities Act.

While I am not fully versed on this edition (as I am a Federal Employee and fall under other reg's) this should be able to answer questions with a little digging. If you find yourself still searching for answers I would suggest that you call the local office in your area.

800-514-0301 (voice)
800-514-0383 (TTY)
​

I know how you feel.
I fight enough trying to get through day by day with out some hairy palmed ingrate adding to it. I hope this helps you out a TON!

 

[Marlene]

Yesterday was not one of my best days. All I could see or feel was my fear of losing my job and how it would affect my family and myself. Fortunately my husband was able to get me calmed down a bit. He knows when I'm 'over the top' if he tells me 'everything's going to be ok...we'll get through it', it's the only thing that brings me down. Because whenever he's said it in the past, we've gotten through whatever in front of us.

canucklady-I'm only going to get into specifics because I feel like I have to in order make sure my boss and company know what PTSD is all about and what problems can come from too much stress. Maybe that will get him to back off.

Hope-You're right, he is an a**hole. And he only cares or pays attention when he's inconvenienced or forced to. I'm hoping the letter from the doctor will force his attention.

Anthony-When I mentioned a lawyer, it was only to get some advice and learn what my rights are. In the same way that speaking to my SIL (who's a paralegal) will be for info purposes. Unfortunately, I learned to how to play the corporate game a long time ago. This is just a new chapter for me. Once I got calmed down and could force some logic into my brain, I realized what you said about my co-worker (he was the one who told me I need to get a letter from my doctor documenting the PTSD to the company) and the fact that he still has his job is true. I also realized that my human resources department knows about PTSD and ADA after dealing with my co-worker. He's definately not a shy wall-flower and has demanded his rights and that they be respected. I'm grateful that he's not only beaten the path I need to take, but he's also helping to guide me on it. He's also been kind enough to give me his home phone number so we can talk without fear of being overheard at work. No one knows we know each other or each other's situation.

Remnarc-Thank you so much for this website and phone number. I will definately be using them. I'm working on getting as many arrows into my quiver as I can...just in case. BTW-'hairy palmed ingrate'...LMAO!!! Thanks-that made my day!!!!!!! :biggrin:

 

[anthony]

Excellent stuff Marlene. Sorry, I did not mean to be advising you so much in the corporate aspect. I guess more just thinking about how I have seen things occur to people before in these situations when they rush the process. Legal advice would be good, I totally agree with you, just so you know 100% in your mind were you stand. Smart decision really. I really think your just so lucky to have that friend of yours, and as you say, "I'm grateful that he's not only beaten the path I need to take, but he's also helping to guide me on it." That really is just some fate that you both fell across one another and opened up about each having PTSD. I think your in a great position Marlene, and I don't honestly see your employer having any issues with your PTSD if they have another employee already with it out in the open to the company.

 

[Marlene]

I don't honestly see your employer having any issues with your PTSD if they have another employee already with it out in the open to the company.

And if they do...F*CK 'EM! They'll have to fire me and then deal with the consequences. I'm working very hard at keeping a small flame of anger burning to keep the fear at bay. I just keep telling myself that there are other jobs and if I have to get another one, then maybe it's fate's way of telling me it's time to move on. I'm not going to let one person make my life miserable and undo all of the hard work I've put into putting myself back together. He's just not worth it. But I am, dammit!!!

LOL Man, it felt good to say that! :tongue:

 

[bob]

He's just not worth it. But I am, dammit!!!

LOL Man, it felt good to say that! :tongue:

You are indeed worth it :) Good on ya.

 

[Marlene]

You are indeed worth it :) Good on ya.

Thanks!!! :biggrin: