Rebuilding alone

[Metropolitan Nomad]

We are here.

I have found that after every major upheaval in my life, life was better in ways I could not foresee before the upheaval. So as I fall into the abyss I have confidence that the pattern will repeat yet again.

The whole idea of healing is complex. I think of it as improving at life. Just learning about how ptsd has impacted my life was a big step. I see things in myself that I would like to improve upon. Then I address that. I tend to isolate so I have been working on being more social and outgoing. For me it is like what taking skydiving lessons was like decades ago. I was hanging on the wing of the plane with an instructor on either side of me. It was time to let go so I did even though I was scared to death. But I did it. The same goes for social stuff, I just show up and do it. My most powerful tools are honesty and venerability. I show up and I am just me. I talk to strangers and ask about their lives. What I have realized is that i am not defective, I am a good person, surprisingly, people like me. How weird is that? It all seems so foreign, but my aversion to social stuff was all in my head. It is still there but with practice my confidence is building. Some of this stuff is so simple yet I could not fathom it forever. I hope this helps. There is hope, our job is to get out of the way and let our best life happen.

Metropolitan Nomad, I agree with Lost in the Woods. We are here for you. You are not alone. And even when you can’t see us on your screen, we are still there, encouraging you to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep standing up, to keep pushing forward towards your healing. I’ve always wanted to skydive! After nearly 25 years of extreme sickness and disability, where I almost died a few times, I’m ready to try it again. I’m working on strengthening my body and my mind. We do a lot of things that don’t help our body. And we sometimes listen to the lies in our heads. But that’s a choice. We don’t have to succumb to the death in our heads. We can overcome every single thing that has happened in our life to bring us down. We will never be the same as we were before, but we can be better! We can take what we’ve been through and let it make us stronger, more compassionate to others, more kind to strangers, and share more love in this world. I believe that everything negative that happens to us or in this world can be overcome. My life is a testimony to that. I could have died many times. I could’ve allowed my mind to be lost in the mental torment. But I didn’t and I won’t. And we are all here to encourage you to do the same. Every single day try to find three things that you are thankful for that day. Just three things (you woke up, you have food to eat, you have shelter, the sun might be shining,…) Each day try to find three things that you have to be thankful for. And live your life from that position of thankfulness. Face the world, and all of your troubles from a position of being hopeful for your future. Believe that it is possible to overcome and to be stronger and more loving and kind to every single person who comes into your life, not in spite of, but BECAUSE of what you’ve been through. Allow it to soften your heart to be more compassionate to the pain that other people walk through. And be used as a vessel for healing and encouragement and love. Find purpose in your pain. Make the world a better place just by being in it. We are all here, encouraging you to keep moving forward to a better place one little step at a time, as you are able. Just take baby steps and get back up each time you get knocked down. You never know how good your life can be until you step into it and keep moving forward. Be patient and kind to yourself in the process. Celebrate every win. Notice how you get stronger each time you get back up. Look forward to your future and don’t let your past or what you’ve been through define you. Start hoping for a better future and start stepping out. When you keep doing that you’ll look back and see how strong you have become through the process and you will be able to look at others around you with compassion and kindness and bring good out of the junk in your life. =>=>=>=>❤=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>===> Hoping to hear from you as you move forward into the future that awaits you.

Thank you so much. I do find life hard, so does everyone. I have achieved a lot but the price has always been very high and the victories are hollow. It seems that I end one challenge and another one appears without any time to recover. In some ways I've become stronger especially over the past few years and the scars are healing but they will never fade away entirely.

I'm not the most compassionate of people especially not to myself. I have had people asking me to reconnect on Facebook but it's not what I want. My career such as it is is progressing and I'm settled in many ways but love to me is an alien concept and so it closeness. Yes I have a family but its not a "touchy-feely"one and as for relationships...hard pass on that.

I am travelling to other places alone yes but I am seeing some of the world (hence the name) Like @PamelaS I have come close to dying and something has always stopped me.

With me I exist at a "surface level" with people. I'm not a sports fan or a movie buff and small talk is a foreign language to me. I am trying but my anxiety leads me to gabble.

I promised myself that by the end of this year I would be 100% better but there's no progress. Thanks again xx

 

[Lost in the Woods]

For me, I have sought out challenges all my life. I think it was to prove to myself that I wasn’t totally worthless. Maybe you have some of that going on too.

 

[Susan Jane]

Thank you so much. I do find life hard, so does everyone. I have achieved a lot but the price has always been very high and the victories are hollow. It seems that I end one challenge and another one appears without any time to recover. In some ways I've become stronger especially over the past few years and the scars are healing but they will never fade away entirely.

I'm not the most compassionate of people especially not to myself. I have had people asking me to reconnect on Facebook but it's not what I want. My career such as it is is progressing and I'm settled in many ways but love to me is an alien concept and so it closeness. Yes I have a family but its not a "touchy-feely"one and as for relationships...hard pass on that.

I am travelling to other places alone yes but I am seeing some of the world (hence the name) Like @PamelaS I have come close to dying and something has always stopped me.

With me I exist at a "surface level" with people. I'm not a sports fan or a movie buff and small talk is a foreign language to me. I am trying but my anxiety leads me to gabble.

I promised myself that by the end of this year I would be 100% better but there's no progress. Thanks again xx

I understand…be kind to yourself, things do shift, it isn’t always possible to say when, it just comes

 

[Metropolitan Nomad]

For me, I have sought out challenges all my life. I think it was to prove to myself that I wasn’t totally worthless. Maybe you have some of that going on too.

For me the challenge is to actually have some friends (pathetic I know)

 

[PuellaDei]

I've had trauma therapy for a year now and I genuinely thought at first it was working but nope! I was stupid enough to think that there was a post trauma future for me. Whatever happens I know now and accept that I would rather be alone then be with people who make me unappy

I'm brand new at this. According to what I've so far discovered, relationship is the key to healing cptsd. I think that is correct. Here's the problem. Hooking up with a therapist means trying to explain my 60+ year old self to a total stranger, who will never really know or understand me, even under optimal conditions. No one could ever convince me that such a relationship is real and personal, and therefore potentially healing. There is One, however, Who knows me through and through, and He is the Object of my desire for relationship. When I learn to really trust the Lord, I know that my healing will come.

 

[Susan Jane]

For me the challenge is to actually have some friends (pathetic I know)

It is not pathetic, it is hard to find the right people, under any circumstances.

 

[parrotthepolly]

For me the challenge is to actually have some friends (pathetic I know)

Not at all, it's not easy to trust people after trauma and it happens mostly subconsciously.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

I don’t think it is pathetic. It is just what some of us have to do once we get a little clarity. For me it has been an exciting process in which I learned I can do much more than I think I can in regards to healing.

 

[Metropolitan Nomad]

I've been asked to go back onto social media but my instincts are telling me no.

 

[Metropolitan Nomad]

Evening all. I've booked a dyspraxia assessment and am now on the waiting list. But to be honest I'm feeling lost tonight. That's all I can say for now,Night all.

 

[Metropolitan Nomad]

Update, yes I have dyspraxia. Apologies for the delay in getting in touch. Now I know what is going on the the question is how can I rebuild?

 

[parrotthepolly]

Update, yes I have dyspraxia. Apologies for the delay in getting in touch. Now I know what is going on the the question is how can I rebuild?

Still don't completely understand what you're trying to 'rebuild'

Have you lost an important part of your life that you want back? Or is it that you want to fit into society and live up to their expectations of what a normal person should do?