Sexual Assault Recalled something from when i was assaulted and now it's all i can think about

[Miss_Basilisk]

I was raped about two months ago and while some memories of the incident are really clear and concrete, others are a little fuzzy. I recently started seeing a counselor for my PTSD and its helped quite a lot in dealing with my flashbacks and nightmares but I remembered something about the assault that I think I kinda forced myself to forget. I had a complete breakdown when I remembered this and since then, its really all I can think about. Even when I distract myself, its just at the back of my mind.

I will talk to my counselor about it but my appointment is next week so I don't really know what to do until then. If anyone has any tips or advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Muted]

From my experience, once a person starts processing it they can get flooded and completely overwhelmed. Especially if they were dissociated for a great length of time, sometimes derealization etc. it's important to go slow if you have any dissociation or it can cause major problems.

Once I started processing it, I remembered every single detail. I wish I could forget it, it's like a video tape inside my mind and I just want it to go away. Mine happened years ago and the more different parts have come together in processing it, the harder it seems to block out triggers. But, I'm working on that. It takes a lot of mental focus to block it out.

Th best tip that usually works great for me is to contain it. If you can visualize the trauma and the feelings after the numbness (helplessness, lack of control, anger, disgust, hopelessness, powerlessness etc...) and the perpetrator while closing your eyes and place them into a container, whatever it needs to be to ensure that it won't come out until you can work on processing it with your counselor. It helps to put lots of locks on it etc...sometimes I have to double contain.

Good luck, it's not an easy process and can take many years. I hope you have found a great counselor that you trust and someone who really listens, because that can make all the difference in the world. It's important that you feel safe with them in order to process the rape.

 

[Miss_Basilisk]

From my experience, once a person starts processing it they can get flooded and completely overwhelmed....

Hi, thank you so much for your reply! I did dissociate quite a bit during and have problems with it now so I will take it as slow as possible.

I'll try what you said about containing it, I think that could help a lot at the moment. Thank you again and have a good week!