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Recognising The Small Positives

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I have so much now that I feel good almost all of the time. I see now that I am so loved by my family, that I need not fear a toxic persons influence in their lives. I have the patience to take my time, wait and see how it all unfolds which takes time.

I am thinking that I have earned my good feelings that I am having.
 
I got to tell my son how I felt about his procrastinating(blames it on genetics). I also spoke up for myself regarding a med change and getting a new therapist. I think my old one, who quit due to having a child, forgot about me and finding me a new one. Which she said she was going to do. I just bit the bullet and told the Nurse Practitioner that I needed a therapist and, yes, I think going up on my meds is a sound idea.
 
My Aunt set me the task of writing 3 things I have achieved each day into a message and sending it to her. If I don't do it she sends me a message to remind me. They can be small things that I have done to improve my mood or large things that have helped me overcome something. I have managed to do it for about a week now but I'm struggling to find things I think are achievements. She also sent me a plant and told me to look after it. It gave me a purpose each day, a reason to get out of bed and something that relies on me. It's still alive. I'm shocked.
 
For my doctor calling in my prescription for antibiotics so I could pick it up yesterday. The pharmacy workers are going on strike on Monday. Pure relief, just in time.
 
I know it's just something small, but I played for about half an hour on my keyboard today...I'm still short before crying.

I was avoiding the instrument. But I love music and especially piano/keyboard...but during the last months it was hard to practise. The music just goes too deep and whirls around in my emotions...so it's hard to focus on the piece.

I think today was a little start to be able to play again. I just have to figure out that it's enough to play for myself. That it's enough to enjoy it and that I don't need a bigger goal for playing keyboard.

My fingers didn't take too long and then they moved by themselves and created tunes which really touched me. I still have the tears in my eyes. But I'm proud that I made it...and I'll try to keep it going.
 
That is beautiful, Anrish. I am so happy for you.

Music can be a great way to let your emotions flow safely, without having to worry about other people's judgements. It's great that you can see that music doesn't have to be a performance. Because if it's just for you, then it will be much more of a reward instead of a chore.
 
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