Regression anybody?

[Kaleidoscope]

I had my body response with low bloodpressure to a trigger hours and hours earlier. My body responded because my mind couldnt, if that makes sense. Its been three days and Im still waiting for the mental blow.

But usually when I get triggered I immediatly response.

Thank you for helping me make sense of this Lovak. I have had immediate body responses also.
It’s the delayed responses that catch me completely off guard...

 

[Starfire]

hello everybody!

I am feeling a bit frustrated with myself after a bit of regression with my symptoms the last two going on three weeks.

I was doing really well - the best I have been post-trauma. While some days were rocky, I was mostly able to navigate with the occasional really bad day that the person I go see was able to help me work through.

And then, all of a sudden, I’ve regressed. I guess I was “triggered” badly and symptoms are going from 0-10 in an instant and appearing in new ways (ex - waking up middle of night or first thing in the morning already in full panic mode).

While I manage the smaller stuff fairly well, I’m struggling when I get to a ten as I can’t really bring myself back. Everything I know goes out the window and I’m just reliving the trauma again.

Anyways - my question. Anybody else experience moderate regression? I’m disappointed in myself, and HATED having to tell the person i see that I wasn’t doing wel. ALL this time. So many tools. She’s been incredible and I am/was SO much better. And now .... here I am - backsliding several weeks.

Have you experienced this? How do you make it stop? How do you push yourself forward again? Will I be able to get back to where I was and continue my progress ? My poor person has got to be so tired of me - I know I am!

Yea, & after it happens I beat up on myself....I should have used this tool, forgot all about it..why did or didn't I do that, I know better. And the big disappointment, all this work & I'm it's still a problem. For me the key is acceptance. Much easier said than done! And NOT pushing myself. Just, ok, I've been here before & I know what to do which is x,y,z. Then of course doing it! Course there's anger usually at myself & more recently at the world. If we can go to Jupiter, why hasn't someone invented a pill or shot or brain zap to cure this?! Then I pick myself off the floor & do the work......again.

 

[shimmerz]

Just mentioning my experience with these questions. I used to freeze constantly or for long periods of time. Chronically. For almost a decade. It was hell. I was alive with punctuated periods of being living yet dead at the same time. That was the freeze state, for me.

I am wondering if this is part of a freeze response?

Yes. Blood pressure and heart rate for me drop way down low. Which is why I eventually (or instantly) dropped to the ground. It took sleep for my body to be able to reset itself. I am just wondering if you are conscious during this time? Aware of what is happening?

And is it common to be delayed a few days from the initial trigger?

I used to get confused about this. I would have dealt with a trigger and thought I made it through but then days afterward I would drop like a fly over everything and nothing.

I put it down to the fact that triggers would open me up to reacting over stupid shit. I think T would call that my window of tolerance closing up. In other words, I couldn't take day to day things because I was still affected by the trigger that I had seemingly worked through.

 

[Kaleidoscope]

Thank you for your response to my concerns Shimmerz... Yes, in answer to your question...I am aware and conscious when this happens.
The only reason I have been able to connect this physical response of a sudden BP and heart rate drop to a trigger is that it occurred frequently during a very tragic happening in my life...often at work. I am a RN.
My co-workers would rush me to ER. It was very embarrassing for me. My BP would be in the low 70’s and my heart rate in the 40’s. It’s referred to as a “vagal response”. A complete cardiac workup was eventually done and nothing was found. I have a very healthy heart!
Over the years I have been piecing this together. Your input is very helpful...thank you! I will be discussing this with my doctor and therapist.
It doesn’t happen often any more...
In December of 2016, I was preparing breakfast, humming a favorite song, feeling peacefully calm and had no thoughts other than the beautiful morning and a fun day ahead of us. My BP dropped suddenly, with all the symptoms of being very clammy, nausea & lightheadedness. My husband took me immediately to ER and nothing was found to be wrong. My BP slowly returned to normal. This episode was preceded by a very difficult reminder the previous week.
The same thing happened again a few weeks ago...5 minutes before I was going to leave for a fun day with a friend! Thankfully I had the same doctor and told him of my suspicion that this was related to a strong trigger I had had 5 days before.

I’m curious to know if there is a way to avoid this kind of response?
Have they researched the “freeze/faint” response?
It’s not something I would want to happen if I was watching a small child or when driving!

 

[Kaleidoscope]

Yea, & after it happens I beat up on myself....I should have used this tool, forgot all about it..why did or didn't I do that, I know better. And the big disappointment, all this work & I'm it's still a problem. For me the key is acceptance. Much easier said than done! And NOT pushing myself. Just, ok, I've been here before & I know what to do which is x,y,z. Then of course doing it! Course there's anger usually at myself & more recently at the world. If we can go to Jupiter, why hasn't someone invented a pill or shot or brain zap to cure this?! Then I pick myself off the floor & do the work......again.

Thank you for your reply Starfire... I agree that acceptance is a good choice and yes, easier said than done!
Before I could even start accepting that this may happen again at times, I felt very sad and frustrated!
I have stopped “beating myself up”...I was very upset for a while!
I am glad I’ve returned to MyPTSD...it is a relief for me to know I’m not alone in these awkward body responses!
Hang in there everyone. ?

 

[shimmerz]

I’m curious to know if there is a way to avoid this kind of response?

Again, just through personal experience....

My body, I have learned, is frozen at all times. It is a learned and chronic state. It's why my diaphram used to not work. I couldn't move breathe into my lungs consciously if I had tried.

So for me, it has been all about monitoring how frozen I am. If I start to feel a tightening of my shoulder/back area, I know I have to work on freeing it up immediately. Otherwise I drop quickly sometime in the near future. Seemingly over not much of anything.

Monitoring in this way has taught me to keep a pulse (so to speak) on my body - mindful awareness of my state - which helps me to do self care and so on.

All positive things. I have never crashed out in the car, which is a good thing. Around kids could be different. It is up to me to make sure my body tone supports a healthy vagal tone. That's the best I can do - but that works quite well insofar as quality of life. Of course that means I have to have a mind on stressers and remove them as soon as possible for continued good physical (and thus mental) health.

 

[Kaleidoscope]

Thank you Shimmerz! This makes complete sense...

 

[lovak]

Shimmerz, you mentioned a tightening shoulder/back area.
Its extremely tight and painful for me at the moment.. do you have any tips on freeing it up yourself? Ive applied heat but thats not helping.
And I cant afford a massage every week...
I know its stressrelated, but I cant fully use my neck and arm and I really cant take the pain right now.

 

[shimmerz]

So, yes, I can tell you that Medical Marijuana helped me a ton in that regard (CBD Oil). BUT... obviously that isn't for everyone.

What I do use as well that I have found very helpful is Feldenkrais. There are all sorts of videos on Youtube that use Feldenkrais to target specific areas of the body and do a kick ass job of muscle releasing without having to do crazy stressful exercises. These are super gentle but man oh man do they get to the heart of the matter. I can feel a release of musculature in no time.

Many people try Somatic Experiencing (Peter Levine). Can't afford him. If you can - better still maybe.

The thing is, your body probably doesn't know HOW to release (that was my experience). It had absolutely no concept of what it felt like for my body (any of it) to be relaxed. So the idea is to be really mindful of the process. Really let you brain recognize the difference between your 'normal' frozen state and how Feldenkrais releasing helps you to feel.

In youtube just search for feldenkrais neck and shoulders or you can take a look at this one

This stuff is deceptively simple. If only I had known about 11 years ago, but alas, I just found Feldenkrais.

Hope this is as helpful for you as it has been for me!

 

[lovak]

Thank you so much for your help. Im going to try feldenkrais.
I live in the Netherlands so it wouldnt be a big deal to get marihuana but Im a tad sensitive when it comes to addiction, so Im never touching that again ;)

 

[bhm]

I find that when I'm being mindful and relaize I'm getting I'm disregulating that falling into a breathing exersize helps alot, and am involed in a trauma based medition and grounding group, I've found since that keeping a regular schedule of meditation really helps for me to be able to regulate more successfully, also have been doing point or meridian tapping, I've found that this is very helpful also, but hard to exersize if you're caught in the middle of a response in public, but have started dipping into public toilets if theres one around and just sitting and tapping for a bit and breathing if its not to rank, and usually will come back around within a few miniutes, It was working really well for me but broke my regular cycle recently and found myself in total regression also, this morning I woke up and did a 20min meditation and breathing and tapped for a bit and I feel quite a bit better, just a personal offering, hope you feel better @FirstTimer