Rejection

[VikVikViktorious]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm thinking of you and hoping you have a great day. I too get very anxious around my birthday and holidays. It's completely normal, understandable, and you will get through it.
Please reach out to me if you need anything.

 

[Bloomy]

@Notsurewhoiam

takk :)

Having a shit day just lost my job and ability to pay houserent scared of how it will go now and outside its a huge storm starting and its thunder lightning and heavy rain going on.

You are the only one so far online or off line that congrat me. Just trying to forget the whole affair.

Maybe if I against all odds make my life matter this day can be nicer.

 

[VikVikViktorious]

Well, you put a smile on my face this Monday morning - and made me appreciate the job I do have that I often pray to get fired from (when feeling irrational low about my life).
Sorry to hear about the job loss. Tell me about your interests if you'd like- I'd love to brainstorm other avenues you could look down.

 

[scout86]

Gratulerer med dagen! ( hope that's right! :nailbiting:)

I agree with Friday, if you were a true loner, being alone wouldn't bother you. I think there are things you can learn now, that might help. When you're a child, you assume that people reject you, or seem to, because there's something wrong with you. As an adult, you can learn that that isn't necessarily true.

Good topic and brave of you to bring it up! (BTW, I'm probably more of a true loner. I've always felt like an outsider and have come to accept that and feel pretty comfortable with it. YOU are way more likely to be able to change things that way than I am, because you have more motivation to do it.)

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Happy birthday! Obviously, it doesn't seem to be a very happy birthday today so far from what you described above, but I hope that you can do something special that you enjoy just for you (a walk outside, a nice cup of lemonade, do some artwork...). Wishing you some hope on this special day of yours even if it doesn't feel special. Hope that by next year things will be better. A lot can happen in a year!

 

[NatBird]

@Bloomy affirming your Earthday:)

sounds like a lot of change happening for you right now.

wishing you strength, guidance, compassion and support needed to navigate it all.

 

[Bloomy]

@Notsurewhoiam spending my birthday desperatly looking for and applying for job. Ive sent three applicants for school assistent jobs until now.

Then Ive found the dream job in dream area. Ill not get my hopes up high cause many people will apply and prob be more qualified then me, but Ill give ita try since I have nothing more to loose.

Its only 10 months and its full time so in this way it doesnt fit for me, but as said Im willing to give this a go due to circummstances and chanses and all.

So its a job as project worker for someone with a big heart and idealistic wiew upon things. Pretty much me.

Its about recruiting youngster to work training, plan and to activities for families with poor economy ( I know all about its since Im poor too), plan activities for schools, training for youngster and people with drug problems (Im educated trainer and have my own experiences too).

The area of the work is the only place in Noway I consider home and I have a special engagment for young people in this area since its consider to be poor and with many social problems.

Ill write the applicant any way the we will see.

But I had a choise such a job would be the big dream with big D for me.

 

[Bloomy]

@scout86 it was right - takk & Im impressed :)
I am a true loner. Its just that it got confused with being unvoluntarliy lonely. I seems. Im also learning to live with it. But I do need people. I do need love. And the lack of this makes being a loner dificult. If I had more love then itll be easier to stay alone to knowing someone out there loves me. If that gives any sense?

As a child I didnt assume people reject me. They just where. In the house I grew up I had my room and I was always sure to close the dorrs with the key for others not to attack me. Nobody ever asked me how I was or how my days had been helped me with home work comfort me if I were sad or anything. Im comfortable alone but as said given the circumstances of a choise to be alone. Not cause I simply dont have any one.

Before I was introverted I did change cause such a person could not thrive.

It just seems that Im not really good enough for this world no matter what I do. Struggling so bad to find my place. Where people accept who I am and the work I do

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

Happy birthday! :)

I'm learning to stop fighting against it and accept my circumstances in life. It stinks to be alone. Ive been called a loner but is that fair given that when I do attempt to reach out to people I am rejected in one form or another? Maybe it's society that's telling me I'm supposed to be a loner because I don't have whatever it is that makes me belong anywhere. Blah. :-/

 

[VikVikViktorious]

Best of luck with the job hunt!! Proud of you for getting right to the application process! I know if it were me I'd wait for days weeks months until the anxiety was too much to bear.
Do it for the kids, they need you!

 

[scout86]

@Bloomy my T keeps saying he'd like me to "be more the person I really am, more of the time." He says he likes that person and other people will too. Although not everyone and that's ok. I tend to keep my thoughts and ideas to myself because I'm pretty sure if people actually know me, they'll hate. This forum has been an experiment. And, at least here, it seems he might be right.
What I've seen of you, here, it's WAY easier to believe people will like and accept you than to believe they'd accept me. But you don't say much. But you seem very nice, kind, and you're trying so hard to make your life better. I respect that. I know it's hard to get past this kind of thing. You can't fix it by wishing things better. But keep trying!

I hope the job works out! It sounds perfect. Maybe a lot of people will apply, but you are unique and bring a unique set of experiences with you. I hope they can see that!

 

[Bloomy]

@scout86 well yeah being me doesnt do me any good it seems. But Im ok if not everyone likes me. Just enough that Illk eep the job is fine. Maybe I dont say much just cause Ive learned that its not a good thing for me to open my mouth to much? Im think Id said a lot here on this sight do. And I think you are a very nice person too Scout. Always polite and caring and easy to talk with.

@Notsurewhoiam thanks God Im not at the place anymore where I dig my self undr ground when shit goes down. I cant. Then Ill have nothing. I know in my age its now or never. I gave my self one more year to live and swore Ill turn the world up side down even if Im sinking in a mud pole. Ill keep my promise this year as good as I possibly can.

I even muster the courage to call work today and talk with daily leader. In a casual tone. So not to make this a drama. Result is that I did get work atleast one day this week. Itll be tough since Im depending on the co work of someone who cant co work and Ill be to blame if shit hits the fan again. But anyways.

Other then that just pray to allmighty forces that the universe stops rejecting my exitence.

I dont have kids. Or I have a foster daughter. And yes she is the reason I keep trodding on at the moment,