Reporting To The Police After So Many Years.., Trying To Decide.

[BloomInWinter]

(((((Venusian)))))

May you find strength and healing as you go through this process.

Is skype an option? Or facetime on a mac or ipad? Or, the local women's services may have a video-conferencing setup in their courthouse to be able to connect with one close to your folks, where they can have a crime-victim's advocate there on hand to prepare your parents, be able to answer any questions they have, and provide ongoing support as they need it. Your family members are victims of this predator, too, and deserve all resources possible.

You might start with calling your local women's hotline and allowing them to support you all the way through. They are experts in this and no doubt have many resources to bring to minimize the trauma to all of you and maximize the chance to move from victim to survivor.

Also, I've been through the press re-traumatizing me through the witness process. As a victim, your identity should be protected, but I'd never tell someone to count on that.

I'd consider having what you wish to say to the press, if anything, written out and vetted with someone you trust and your T. as soon as you can. The press can be very traumatizing to survivors just by their intrusive questions and it is best to know what, if any, response you are willing to share. Or, be prepared to wait out the calls, requests with 'no comment.' Or, if you know one reporter you trust, you might work only through that person and ask that person to allow you to read what is written before it goes out. The media can be jerks, but an ethical reporter can really help the healing process along.

You are courageous and have a wonderful heart to even consider this. Please do pace yourself according to what you feel about all of it.

...and give yourself permission to change your mind or slow down the process as you need to.

If you were my child, I'd be SO PROUD of you for surviving such a horrendous crime and seeking healing...whether or not it involves reporting it or not, just continuing therapy and living is a daily act of great courage.

*Linking Arms*

 

[Girl3]

Amazing advice Bloom - you are an incredible advocate.

I wish you strength and love Venusian and know you will continue to heal.

 

[BloomInWinter]

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has experts as well and I believe will answer things anonymously if you wish to just find out more:

http://

 

[Venusian]

I am taking a small step forward today, I have an appointment to talk to victim services face to face. She has experience in how these investigations can play out, I may not have to talk to my parents at all. She can also help get some support contacts in place if I do decide to tell them. If I make an official report there may not be enough detail for it to trigger any kind of investigation. Even the fact that I can talk to people about this is something I didn't think possible less than a year ago.

 

[BloomInWinter]

((((((Venusian)))))))

Peace and strength to you on this journey. May you be comforted in knowing that every step you take is a victory.

*awed at your strength*

 

[Venusian]

I want to thank everyone for the support, it means so much to me. I am not sure if I could have made the decision to report without it.

I spoke to the counselor at victim services and she is going to help me through the process when I get to the place where I can do so without causing me more damage. Some of the memories are still really new and very raw. It has been so many years that a few weeks working on me and getting support in place will only help.

 

[BloomInWinter]

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

So glad you are getting support and doing what is right for you. :>

 

[Helliepig]

Wow Venusian, what a big step and what a big victory - whatever happens now.

Sometimes with abuse the hardest thing is to break the silence, silence being one of the things to be rammed down our throats. Whatever happens you have dealt a big blow for freedom for yourself - from your fears, from your regrets, from the legacy of silence and fear of retribution.

Sometimes speaking out can trigger feelings of danger and panic precisely because our child was threatened into silence. If this happens I wish you courage and perspective to see it for what it is and to weather it until it passes because it is old stuff....

Echoing BloomInWinter - good for you!!