Other Research Brought Me Here

[Aprella]

Thank you all for the wonderful answers :D

@WillyKat : I never looked at it that way. It wasn't the intention to mention it, but maybe focusing less on what is it and a bit more on what will 'serve' the story might make it a bit easier to write it.

@anthony : Yes, I read the rules twice! And I will try as hard as I can not to come across to enthusiastic and stay respectful.

@Nin : Thank you for sharing this. It is really insightful to get a better understanding of the hyper-vigilance. Great that you noticed the potential hole in the plot, but there is a kind of order made out of all different kinds of people who know about the different worlds, some kind of gatekeepers, and the therapy will most likely be given by one of does members :) If someone would come to me and start talking about having been stuck in another dimension, I will think (s)he might be hallucinating or something.

@Abstract : Ooh I forgot all about Charlie and The Perks of Being a Wallflower! I loved that book and I hadn't immediately noticed that he had those problems. And thank you for advising the other book :D

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum Aprella. :)

 

[ashdawn8287]

That is really cool.

Make your character STRONG!

Look up Post traumatic growth :)

 

[Aprella]

@ashdawn8287 Ooh! I certainly will do that! Thank you for the tip :D

 

[WillyKat]

Last night, a couple more thoughts occurred to me. Girl with a Dragon Tattoo touches on a lot of this material and has (trigger warning) a few brutal scenes, both in the movie and the book. The backstory of the book is that the author once was a witness to his friend being raped and did nothing. Out of guilt, he wrote the books that portray a heroine saving the day. The first book was titled in Swedish "Men Who Hate Women". The English publishers gave it the "dragon" title.

The other thought is this: I hope your PTSD character doesn't die. There are lots of stories where a character was somehow abused or seriously harmed in the past and is now haunted. We've all seen this a million times. In the end, they often dutifully die saving the blond. (I'm blond...er, gray now...so I can say that.) See, the traumatized, strange, messed up person is a burden to all, but golly, weren't they so cool to give their life like that?

Please let the blond die and let one of us live.

 

[Aprella]

He lives! Don't worry :D He actually is the hero.... (though his traumatic stuff happens after being a hero) but no way I will let him die! I love him too much to do that! And killing him wouldn't serve any purpose in the story. If I could pick one character that could step out of the pages and become real, it would be him :) with all his problems and quirks. ( kind of loosely based him on someone I don't really know but love for the things he has done since with his art he helped me a lot getting through dark days and he helps me feeling better when I feel down. I wouldn't be able to kill him at all. And nor will he save any kind of (blond) girl.

Yes! I read that book quite a while ago. In Dutch (that's my native languages) it is called Men Who Hate Women. I quite enjoyed reading that. It was very... interesting. I should read it again... I had to read it in high school for class and I think I will understand more now, especially if i don't have to rush it to get it finished on time. My to-read list is growing very quickly, I love it!

And I'm so very happy that I stumbled upon this forum, you guys seem like such amazing people!

 

[WillyKat]

I think I may have unwittingly come up with a great band name: Let the Blond Die. That's almost as good as Nose Hair Yankees.

 

[Aprella]

I was thinking about my writing and I came up with something I am wandering about..I know this is most likely different for every one, but:

- How long does it take for PTSD to heal, if it can really be healed? Is a year a reasonable time to book a lot of progress? (with the help of therapy). It probably depends on how severe it is... but I find it hard to grasp how long such a journey takes.

- Do people generally understand or not?
My character is going to end up in a big house with a couple of people (including some very close friends) for a couple of weeks before he can go home... but while I try to understand PTSD, I have done quite some research about it and 'know' what is it as what kind of 'troubles' it can create. I have this character that thinks L is an attention seeking drama queen and she isn't going to keep her opinion for herself... I do think this can hurt L but beside that, are people with whom you confine in generally understanding or not?

 

[WillyKat]

Well ain't that the $64 million dollar question.

It depends on a lot of factors:
- if the trauma(s) involved betrayal of trust, it takes a lot longer.
- it it involved a random accident, perhaps less
- if you didn't get treatment right away, longer
- if it happened to you when young, probably longer
- [insert the other 999 factors here]

I made a lot of progress in the first year or two of therapy. That was over 15 years ago. I've been back in therapy for about a year now and progress is very slow compared to that earlier period. At first, I focused on three things:
- I didn't participate in the rape; it was something done to me.
- I was once a victim, now I'm a survivor.
- That running from the issues leads to exhaustion and defeat, than wallowing in them is defeat, and that the only way to deal with it is to stand and fight.

Now I'm working on the flashbacks, negative self image, inability to stand up for myself, easily triggered. That stuff is really slow and hard to deal with.

In short, yes you can make some good progress in a year, but you may still find yourself overwhelmed by the stuff that still has to be worked on. And as you get older, or go through marriage, kids...issues may come up that you didn't see coming. On the other hand, w/o good therapy, a year is also enough time to go the opposite direction too.

No, I don't think people understand PTSD; they immediately think of PTSD cases that make the news, which is dumbed down and simplified for short attention spans. There are better odds of them understanding what you lived through w/o using the label "PTSD". Sorry to bring up that label again, but I've had some negative experiences telling people I have PTSD; they have an easier time and relate to me in more helpful ways if I tell them what happened.

 

[Aprella]

I know it's really hard to put a number on it, but not personally knowing someone who struggles with this or not having it myself, makes it very hard to 'guess'.
Thank you for the helpful answer :D

 

[anthony]

How long does it take for PTSD to heal, if it can really be healed?

It goes like this... healing really commences from the time a person actively recognises they have a problem and engage themselves into the process of change. Healing trauma is different to managing PTSD. They are separate subjects and separate journeys.

Think of PTSD as its own entity, because that is how it behaves and this is why once your brain has developed PTSD, it remains for life, as PTSD can kick your arse with no negative stigma from past trauma as you healed all of that. Does that makes sense?

Which leaves you with managing PTSD itself. Depending on the severity of your PTSD, not your trauma, depends on how long it will take you to learn and change your behaviour to lesses some symptoms and remove them from your daily life. You can heal your trauma and make peace with your past, but if you still lay around on the lounge watching TV and eating food, getting fatter and fatter, then depression is still kicking your arse. To change that is behavioural, thus you get off of the lounge, eat better and start exercising. You have opposite spectrums with PTSD sufferers, in that some go anorexic or take something good and turn it into an obsession to cope.

All these things take time uniquely, and every person is unique. If you wanted to talk time frames, then for your average single traumatic event for a civilian, 6 months of therapy should recover may 60% - 70% of PTSD sufferers in relation to relieving symptoms cause from their trauma, whilst engaging behavioural changes to correct other symptoms. A year at most for the majority.

You then have around 40% or so that will vary uniquely. In that you may have people who have suffered for 20 years before they actively decided to fix the problem. They've just slipped through life making bad decisions, coping, doing whatever they need to do to get by. That person who has lived with the issues for 20 years could take 6 months to many years to heal. The longer you live with the symptoms and not deal with the issues, the longer it typically takes because human behaviour adapts to what it knows and doesn't change easily.

As for people understanding PTSD, those typically who don't have it cannot understand it. Understanding and relating to trauma is something most can do. Empathise, sympathise and so forth... but understanding why they shutdown, go extreme with mood or depression or anxiety, can't sleep, isolate, have anger outbursts and so forth... unless you have it, how do you understand it?

There's a document I wrote some time ago, have edited and renewed since, which was aimed at supporters and those without PTSD to help them understand PTSD. That may help you... it is also valid for those with PTSD to help them understand what they're dealing with.

 

[Aprella]

Thank you so much for the information and the link to the article :D It's really helpful to talk to people who have experience with it. Before I came here, I only knew the theoretical side of it, and that made it kind of hard to understand it enough to write about. As soon as I have a bit more time on my hand I will read the forum in order to try and understand it even more and be able to write it as accurate as possible.

I really appreciate the time and effort you guys have put in writing your answers. It helps me a lot and I hope that somehow I can help you guys as well :)