Other Research Brought Me Here

[Jen L]

I'm new here too, but had to say that I would love to see more info (fantasy books to informational websites and everything in between!) on NON-combat PTSD. My honey got his from doing cases on sexual crimes involving small children. He is not a violent PTSD sufferer (the stereo-typical PTSD case in Hollywood), but cries in his sleep from dreams. Silently crying every morning at the breakfast table. Getting upset when he hears babies or small children crying. We typically go to hole-in-the-wall type restaurants at 2 am to avoid children. It's terrible. Thankfully (and unfortunately) he has none of his own. There is so much more, but that's the basics of our story and would love to see more info on it.

Thanks for doing your story and being upfront about your research. I'd be willing to answer any questions, if they are to arise and I can be of help.

Jen

 

[twopenny]

I can only talk of my own experiences, and my hub's...

On how long it takes to heal - with hub, once he found a decent therapist (which in itself took a couple of years), it probably took a few months till he was functioning a lot more 'normally'. Six months to get to a stage where he's much better. Though he's not actually healed, he's a lot better than he was - no more pushing people away, no more violent and angry outbursts, no more major nightmares (his PTSD is from combat). But he still has PTSD. He was diagnosed six or seven years ago, and the trauma was just over 20 years ago.

On my experiences of it (mine is from (probably) a combination of childhood abuse, a mass shooting, and witnessing a fairground accident)....

• I don't really have flashbacks as such - I sometimes react to things that happen now as though they are something that happened 30 years ago (if the situation mirrors or is similar to something that happened then).
• I have thoughts popping into my head of things I don't want to think about - they're sort of like polaroid pictures, or sometimes short video clips, and I can't get them out of my head for days on end - like when a tune that gets stuck in your head, but visual.
• I deliberately push people away - sometimes with justification, sometimes not - and I have been known to cut myself off for months on end. As a teenager (living alone) I would only go out to the supermarket to buy food under cover of darkness. I didn't want to be seen. And I wouldn't contact friends for months at a time.
• I've always had trouble concentrating on things - I get very easily distracted, and easily bored, and I daydream.
• I've had so many panic attacks I've lost count! It's better now (as in less common), but at one stage I had them nearly every day.
• Regarding hypervigilance... for me, if I'm at home, I hear every little noise in the street. If I hear a car pull up, I have to check it out, but not from the ground floor - if I hear a noise in the house, cat, house settling, whatever, I have to check it. I have to make sure the doors and windows are locked, and if hub not here, barricaded, and I have to make sure all the curtains are closed with no cracks (day and night). If I'm out and going through hypervigilance, I have to make sure that I sit with my back to the wall, or in the seat at the end of a railway carriage, so there can be nobody behind me. If I'm in the street, or a shop, I'll know exactly how close the nearest person to me is, and exactly where everybody is in a room, or in the street, within about 20 yards of me. I constantly look around, and if I hear a noise near me, it startles me.
• I feel jumpy quite often (less now I'm on some medication). I spent an unpleasant weekend a few weeks ago when somebody triggered me, and I could feel the adrenaline running through my fingers for about three days - like when you get a physical fright, such as nearly falling down the stairs or something, and you get that quick jolt that makes your fingers tingle. But it's not quick. Other times, I just feel on edge, like something is about to happen.
• I get quite easily irritated, especially when I feel like somebody is lecturing me, or ignoring me. Hub calls it the spiky me. I tend to snap when I do that.
• I don't generally trust people. I trust about - er - I think 5, maybe 6, people in the world.
• I have serious memory problems, as does hub. Can't remember a thing to save our lives, either of us - endless lists and multiple year planners are the only way to deal with that!

There's also a LOT I just don't remember.

 

[Aprella]

Thank you for sharing this :) I certainly helps to get a better picture of it and it makes it much easier to understand my character.

I have a question: the hyper-vigilance: does it come randomly or does it need to be trigger and how long can it last? It must be so very exhausting.

 

[anthony]

From a veterans view, hyper-vigilance is always there as a built-in awareness function. Any veteran will attest that it simply becomes part of you, thus has no real bearing on exhaustion or such... it's like walking and talking, you become tired from that eventually, though it is part of who you are and you're just so used to it, you don't even recognise it most of the time.

 

[Zef]

Hey Aprella,

Thought I would just suggest a couple of threads here that might give you a 'feel' for PTSD in general.

'You Know You Have PTSD When...' To many PTSD'ers that are at a stage where we can laugh a bit, there is some so-funny-it-makes-your-cry lines in this thread. On the other hand, I've shared it with a couple of my supporters who were wondering why I was laughing. . .and both of their reactions were "that's f---ing horrible." So, I'm thinking, if you can 'get' why the stuff in the thread is so funny, it may be a sign that you are ready to flesh out the PTSD portion of your character. . .just a thought

'What to Never Say to a PTSD Sufferer' This thread may help you understand from the PTSD'er perspective some of the difficulties we face when interacting with others. Perhaps it could provide some inspiration and accuracy when your PTSD character interacts with other characters.

I am really hesitant to suggest this. . .but, if you want to do deep research rather than wide research. . .you may want to read through a few trauma diaries here. The diaries could provide you insight on what life is like internally for real world PTSD'ers.

Also, when I read that your character is a band member with PTSD. . .my head exploded. If you handle it well, there is so much opportunity to create interesting intercharacter dynamics, conflicts and drama in that setting. Brilliant setting to put your characters in.

Wish you the best

 

[Aprella]

Thank you all :) When I'm back from my holiday I will take a look at the topics you suggested.

Yes the band thing... but the chance it would be in the story itself.. is small. Might write some kind of spin off about that though since it seems very interesting to explore that! And a challenge!