Rorster Trauma Diary

[Rorster93]

Here lately I have been having dreams every night, some of them are nightmares. They always start out with my current boyfriend who morphs into my stepdad. So my feelings start out loving and happy then towards the end fearful. And they scare me, bother me. One night I dreamt of my boyfriend who morphed into my stepdad who molested and groomed me for years. My stepdad was in the bedroom where my boyfriend was. I went to the restroom and looked in the mirror at the darkness behind the shower curtain wondering if my stepdad was there. Thinking he couldn't be since he was just in the bedroom, he threw the curtain open and scared me awake.

Another night, I dreamt that my stepdad had taken all my clothes and forced me to walk into a place I used to work at in front of people I used to work with. They were all disgusted by me being naked and thought I was crazy. I felt shame walking through the hallways. No one knew it was my stepdad who took my clothes, they just blamed me for being naked and stupid. In real life, my stepdad had at one point took my shorts and underwear off during an assault which left me running away from him outside with no underpants on hoping my top was long enough to cover me. It was in the middle of the night, I hope no one saw but can't say for sure.

My T says dreams are hard to treat. Another T advised writing my dreams down.

 

[Roland]

Here lately I have been having dreams every night, some of them are nightmares. They always start out with my current boyfriend who morphs into my stepdad. So my feelings start out loving and happy then towards the end fearful. And they scare me, bother me. One night I dreamt of my boyfriend who morphed into my stepdad who molested and groomed me for years. My stepdad was in the bedroom where my boyfriend was. I went to the restroom and looked in the mirror at the darkness behind the shower curtain wondering if my stepdad was there. Thinking he couldn't be since he was just in the bedroom, he threw the curtain open and scared me awake.

Another night, I dreamt that my stepdad had taken all my clothes and forced me to walk into a place I used to work at in front of people I used to work with. They were all disgusted by me being naked and thought I was crazy. I felt shame walking through the hallways. No one knew it was my stepdad who took my clothes, they just blamed me for being naked and stupid. In real life, my stepdad had at one point took my shorts and underwear off during an assault which left me running away from him outside with no underpants on hoping my top was long enough to cover me. It was in the middle of the night, I hope no one saw but can't say for sure.

My T says dreams are hard to treat. Another T advised writing my dreams down.

Dreams are a painful way to process things but you can see pretty well what’s going on by dreams

I’m sorry you’re struggling