Thank you. I don't know why things seem to bother me so much today, why my inner critic is so strong today. I was fine all week and then this morning was hell.I understand how you feel Rorster. Tho my feelings are for different reasons, they are pretty much the same. Feeling like people out in the world can't even meet us halfway, whether it being considerate that we are short on funds, or have something to contribute to conversation. I get it.
And I do hate the phrase, this will pass. Because when we are in it, it doesn't feel like it will ever end. I'm sorry I don't have wonderful words of wisdom to share right now, but I do want to let you know you aren't alone. Sometimes when we are down and we do need someone to just sit with us and not try to fix us. Just let us have our feelings.
Sending you gentle hugs if you accept and just letting you know it's ok to feel what ever we feel. It's not right or wrong, it's our feelings. At least for today.
I usually wake up at 5am and go to the gym, go to bed early so well rested. Bed is made every morning. I like a clean kitchen and chores done on the weekends. Routine is important, get frustrated when I don't have a schedule to keep to. And my aunt coming over has thrown everything off. I felt exhausted yesterday, frustrated and overwhelmed with my to do list but tried to live in the moment. Stayed up late preparing for her arrival and skipped going to the gym this morning, had to text my boss that I was running late (I would rather be stabbed in the eyeball than be late) didn't get to a lot of things and now I just want to choke somebody!!
I hate it when I get this frustrated. This morning I threw my shoes across the floor and yelled "f*ck" because I was mad. This is embarrassing to me. I am ashamed that I let my anger get to me like that. I don't want to live that way. I want to live a peaceful life no matter how angry I get. But I also turned around and gently placed my dog on my bed before leaving and kissed her goodbye. I'm jekyll and hyde. Or I just had a moment of anger like everyone does as long as I am not hurting myself or others, I can be angry.
Going to tell myself "this will pass" over and over today. In time, I know I will calm down and my emotions will feel less intense.
Thank you for reading and responding.