Saying 'No' A Cause For Dissociation?

[Jen93]

Yup. This happens to me too, all the time. Stems from emotional abuse. There's a constant nagging feeling that I'm being rude or disrespectful, and I have to remind myself that people actually WANT to hear my OPINION and there IS no right answer.

 

[circe47]

Confrontation and boundary violations trigger me big time. Last time was at family meeting when I was feeling the standard invalidation as a valued member of the family. My entire scalp started feeling numb and I found myself unable to express myself in a meaningful way. I lost my shit and stomped from the room. My mother called me back and asked me what I needed and what was wrong. I could have told them ten minutes before, but was suddenly back to feeling like a six year old with no verbal skills to convey what I wanted to say. It is very frustrating to have a child alter demand attention and not be able to articulate emotional needs.

 

[Abstract]

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-cptsd.13764/

I have seen numerous inveterate codependents finally progress in their assertiveness and boundary-making work, when they finally got that even the thought of expressing a preference or need triggers an emotional flashback of such intensity that they completely dissociate from their knowledge of and ability to express what they want.

Thought this would help! I think it is an absolutely normal response for those of us who were never allowed boundaries or assertiveness. Practise makes an enormous difference. It takes a lot of hard work though. These days I do it because I know I have to to "survive" but it still isn't easy and often still comes with dissociation.