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Scapegoating In The Family And Its Consequence.

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 12723
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You were young gizmo, and that sort of toxicity is very hard to escape when you are so tightly bonded to your abusers. I think you can forgive yourself. You were their little puppet, but you're older and wiser now, and you aren't that person anymore.
 
Thank you Philipia for saying that. I was manipulated. I cannot believe how selfish my dad was always thinking of himself and what he wanted. He just used me. He always used me to get what he wanted. He used everyone. He makes me sick. I am getting a picture of him exactly as he was. It is becoming more and more clear. I was young. I was angry at my mom for abandoning me to be left with him. She left a note saying I would be better off. I wanted to go with her.

We never talked about that. So many things we never talked about. Stuff just happened and I had to go along with it. No one ever explained anything to me. I was always alone trying to figure stuff out. I was always busy surviving. I am amazed that I am here where I am today. I am doing ok.
 
Yes you are right. We are older now and can see throught any attempts at manipulation. I find this very satisfying.

I am happy that no toxic people have any say about what goes on in my life anymore. I am starting over and I am taking my time. It is so nice not having to worry about the bad things happening anymore.

Now it is just life that I deal with. Thanks Philipia.
 
It sounds like your parents and family are exemplifying sociopathic tendencies. This is very serious and can take a long time to realize and put together. Putting it all together can mean clarity and a short lived sense of relief. Scapegoating is what I first deemed had been happening to me all these years but it goes beyond that with malicious slander, theft, and downright brutal assassination of character. Mine took it to the point of meddling with my treatment to the extent of contacting my doctors without my knowledge. My doctor was not on the same page and was questioning everything I said. I had no idea this was going on and thats just a tiny example. When you are in the middle of their scemes its impossible to figure out. This may be an extreme take on your post but the being angry of your expressions really clues me in. Thank you for sharing, you are already on the right track.
 
I have the good fortune of knowing a young sweetheart in my daughters boyfriend. He comes from a really toxic family who has basically rejected him and abandoned him. He is a real person and I have much hope for him.

Life is a journey and it is a much longer journey when your whole family is so toxic. It takes years of learning and growing and going through experiences to really grow up.

I am glad I can be a part of his life. It reminds me of me so very many years ago. It has really been a very long process, and I have made so many mistakes along the way. But mistakes can be learning experiences especially if we do not beat ourselves up or be so hard on ourselves. I wish you well.
 
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