Scared That I Am Feeling Too Good

[anndeb]

Congrats on the break from the alcohol!! Do you ever think about going to alcoholics anon.? Do they have meetings there in Scotland?

I found much support over here in the states going to Emotions Anon. Met many people I still am great friends will as well as much good info on how to deal with troublesome emotions. Had a bout with abusing alcohol too and found AA to be good as well. Then there was also codependency anon and adult children of alcoholics (or dysfunctional families).. Lots of support groups available, and online as well. Just some suggestions. I hope this is ok to mention here, maybe I need to post this on the info page. Sorry if i goofed again.

I needed meds to sleep at night for many years. I credit them with keeping me out of the hospital.

 

[Lucycat]

Thanks Anndeb, but I'm NOT alcoholic! Thats not me being in denial that is my therapist talking!

I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but it is far improved. I have spoken at length with my T about it, and he agrees it is a problem but only in connection with the CPTSD. I had been using alcohol as a coping mechanism prior to my diagnosis, but since reality hit me, I have been much better. Earlier this year I went 17 weeks without a drop - or a cigarette.

I am now smoking again, but I know I can give up when I choose. At the moment I don't choose! However with the alcohol I know how easy I go overboard so decided to have another break. Even when I do drink I don't have anywhere near as much as I used to.

As a point of interest AA is available here in Scotland. I think we have the highest rates of alcoholism in the world due to the whisky industry here. But I would never join such a group. It would be professional suicide for one thing!

Over the past 10 days I have done one or 2 things that I would previously only had the (dutch) courage to do under the influence. I think this is because I have been feeling so good I have been feeling a bit like I am drunk without the drink - or the cost - or the hangover!

 

[cherryblossom]

I still take sleep meds (zolpidem), and anxiety meds (propanolol), but I have now completely stopped both anti-depressants.:D I was never convinced that the anti-depressants helped, and now I'm off them, I'm beginning to wonder if they made me worse, by increasing my suicidal thoughts, and need for SH. But I don't know.

 

[leanne1321]

I thought for a long time (before I knew I had PTSD) that I was addicted to feeling depressed and stressed. Now I know that at least the 'stress' part fits with PTSD, maybe the depressed thing does too.

When I've gone through good patches, I never wondered about how long it would last, but more like... that I was meant to suffer (even though I didn't know what had happened to me) that I was enjoying borrowed happy time, if that makes any sense to anyone.

 

[Lucycat]

It makes perfect sense!

I have worried in the past few months that when I am good I am 'high'. However my T has said that is the real happy me. That is how I am meant to feel, just when I thought I was feeling good or happy before it was at a lower level. It all makes sense but is hard to get your head round.

CB it is good to hear you are doing well off anti- depressants. I never had them, although there was talk of me taking them earlier this year. I am glad that I managed without. It is so difficult to judge whether there is a side effects there or not, and of course anti -d's take so long to work that you cannot just stop and start willy nilly to assess what they are doing.

 

[Tina]

I know it sounds daft, but I am in a good place at the moment. But rather than enjoying the feeling, I sit here worrying about when the next downer will be and what will cause it.

I wish I could just relax and enjoy the moment for what it is.....

Yeah, I know exactly how you feel. Am feel almost afraid to be happy or when something is going well, I fear that something is bad just waiting around the comer for me. It sucks.

 

[Tina]

I kno

I know it sounds daft, but I am in a good place at the moment. But rather than enjoying the feeling, I sit here worrying about when the next downer will be and what will cause it.

I wish I could just relax and enjoy the moment for what it is.....

w exactly how you feel. I use to feel that way but am thinking a lot more positive and controlling the things I can. Before I was afraid now am like no big deal. :)