School Disability Accommodation

[Nessa7]

I agree that it might be best to talk to the professors first about what accommodations they can make. There would also be the Dean of Students of your major or program.

Are case manager services available in your area? If navigating the school's bureaucracy is a problem, a case manager might be able to help you with this.

 

[TTC18]

Yes, I dropped classes halfway through. Couldn't handle it, didn't know what was going on in my brain, just gave up. Now, I thought, since I knew what was going on, and was trying to deal with it, if I could just avoid the 'groups' thing, I might be able to push through.
I was really just wanting to talk to the disability accommodations people to find out if it was even possible to get any kind of slack, and what that slack would look like. So I'd have the information when I went to try to really decide whether I wanted to try this semester or not. I think that's what bothers me (aside from getting lectured a ton, and told to stop talking so he could finish what he was saying, and getting talked over and talked down to, etc for such a long time) - this took my decision away. I didn't get to make the decision, he made it for me.

 

[Friday]

this took my decision away. I didn't get to make the decision, he made it for me.

Did he actually go into the system and unenroll you / drop you from your program & cancel/send letters of rejection opting out of your funding?

If not, he didn’t take your decision away, you’re still the one that gets to make it. Him having a strong opinion about what he thinks you should do, doesn’t obligate you to agree and go along with it.

If so? You can still usually fix it, by going over his head (advisor, department head, dean of students, etc.) and having them type into a computer reinstating you / getting in touch with your scholarships and grants and tell them a clerical error has been made & you’re not rejecting/deferring.

 

[TTC18]

No, he didn't do anything, just told me he thought I shouldn't be in school. Never told me a thing about accommodations - just I shouldn't be in classes. I described to my advisor what had happened ----- and she said, OK, I've dropped you from your classes, have a nice day. No - gee, that was inappropriate, or anything, just 'Don't let the door hit you on your way out.'
When I was a straight-A student, everyone was super nice. Now that I dropped 2 classes then asked for help, the tone is very different.

 

[Chris-duck]

I don't think your advisor meant it how you're thinking, like if you're telling them the disability people think you shouldn't be in class, that might have appeared to them like that's what you're trying to tell them.

If you still want to be in classes right now I'd say you need to really think about what accommodations you do need and go in asking for exactly what you need. Ask around people for ideas if you need to but only you can answer in what you can/can't handle. It sucks and it's added stress but if it's what you want, and you are able to do it, there's ways around it.

During uni for me I had a bit of a shit semester/year mental health wise, I basically went in with a "sorry" a nice mix of requests for the future, it ended up working out really well. It's awkward though and feels a bit backwards being demanding but you do need to advocate for yourself. Nobody else knows anything about you other than what you say you can/can't handle.

Hope this works out for you.

 

[TTC18]

Well, I did. When I let my advisor know, I explained that this is what happened when I talked to the accommodations guy, and this is how upsetting it was, and how inappropriate for him to give me parenting advice on top of everything else, and she ignored everything except 'he said I shouldn't take classes right now' --- and initially I sent both my advisor and the accommodations department in general a list of things that I thought would make me able to take classes, asking if those things were available/possible. My advisor didn't say anything. Accommodations guy made me call him - describe in detail exactly why I wanted each accommodation, and then started lecturing me. I feel like I already hit capacity for demandingness by 1. actually saying 'here's my issue and here are the things that would help me, and can I please have those things?' and 2. Actually telling the guy on the phone that he wasn't being helpful, and him lecturing me was making me feel worse. and 3. Actually emailing my advisor to tell her what had happened/hopefully keep something like that from happening to anyone else. That's about 100 miles past how far I usually go when there's some kind of adversity. With the way I've been treated so far, I think I'd transfer to a different school before I'd go back there. Which is a huge hassle.

 

[EveHarrington]

Are you in the USA?

Here we can only get certain kinds of accommodations AND a doctor has to say why such accommodations are medically necessary......all for legal ADA reasons.

If these accommodations aren’t enough to make taking classes possible, then no, you’re not fit for being in school.

We can’t just demand what accommodations we want. It doesn’t work that way.

If group work is necessary for the major, then you’ll have to do the group work if the professor says so, even if group work is difficult for you.

Many majors have certain requirements that you can’t get out of just because it’s difficult for you.

Did the disabilities person explain this to you?

Do you know what kinds of accommodations you’re eligible for?

 

[TTC18]

Yes, I'm in the US. No, that's my point. I wanted to talk to the accommodations people to find out what accommodations were available. I told them what would make things easier for me, and asked if those things were possible. Instead, I got 'here's how you cure your PTSD' and 'You don't need to be in classes till you're established in therapy' along with parenting recommendations and lectures about isolating myself too much and I need to just get over my issues and build a community around myself because I need that support. I don't know what kind of accommodations I'm eligible for, or what kind of accommodations professors would allow, or anything because the accommodations guy wouldn't talk about it. Whenever I started trying to ask questions or explain myself, he would say, 'You need to let me finish talking.' It was generally a very horrible conversation and I spent most of it in tears.

 

[EveHarrington]

Oh wow, I’m so sorry!

That guy was full of crap! It’s not up to him to decide if you’re able to take classes! It’s up to you!

Was there another disability person you could talk to? His boss maybe?

 

[TTC18]

I don't know - I thought I'd hear something like that from my advisor, but she just said, essentially, 'see ya.' - and now I feel like if I *do* push, I'll be pushing with no support, and don't even want to get involved. I had the emotional energy to push back on that particular day, but many days I just crumble... if I know that the school doesn't really want to help, and I can't rely on help if I were to need it, well - I just don't think that trying to push myself is going to work. Maybe with another school. I don't know.

 

[Friday]

I think I'd transfer to a different school before I'd go back there.

So...

One of the things therapy really good for is breaking patterns.

Saying yes, when you mean no.
After having said yes, quitting rather than correct/confront.

- Assertive group member, dropping the class.
- Assertive counselor, dropping out of university.

Someone’s a jerk to you, you run with it, and then run away.

This is one of those big deal life changing patterns that’s probably tied into a bunch of trauma stuff, rather than “just” being the increased stress making things harder. Reeeeeeally can’t strongly recommend enough taking this to your therapist.

 

[EveHarrington]

You only have 2 classes left but want to transfer?