Seeing Failure as a Positive?

[nathan]

Luck to you, Nate. My first college plan (way back in the eighties) was fine arts. Painting was great therapy. I loved it. Now I'm going for a horticulture degree and I love that too. It's hard to be confident, but I'm psyched about my degree. Scatterbrained but psyched.

Hope it goes well for you too. How are you dealing with the anxiety attacks? (If you don't mind my asking?)

the anxiety attacks seem to be getting much better. the last couple months ive been really working in therapy and am making much progress, however i have no idea how i will handle being back in school until im actually there. you know, i didnt even think about a fine arts degree. my guidance counselor recommended an AA which sounds terrible to me. so ill have to check into that.
i went up yesterday to sign up for classes and was very discouraged. i went into the office for students with disabilities and all the counselors were sitting at a table together talking and laughing. when i went in i was already nervous and when i started telling my counselor (in front of the other two counselors, who were staring at me) that i just wanted to take a few music courses, they started laughing at me. i thought i was just being paranoid but when i said i wanted a career teaching drums privately and didnt want to have to go through a two year program for an AA, they starting really laughing at me. so of course i just clammed up and walked out feeling idiotic and mortified. then i started getting angry, which lasted for an hour or two. after i calmed down i decided that it wasnt my fault that they are a**holes, and that if i cant go in through the front door then ill just have to find a side door. so thats where im at right now. hopefully ill find someone competent before the new semester starts and i can start my journey. thanks for mentioning the fine arts degree and for the warm wishes. hope you have a peaceful and stress free holiday.

nate

 

[just tina]

Whoa!!!

That's not pleasant, at all. I would have calmly, but firmly asked them what they were laughing about, and why it was interfering with their duties. If they were hitting the hookah, they wouldn't say so, but at least they would know they had a Blue Heeler (not gonna stand around barking, but I'll bite your a**) in the room and had better sober up.

That's just my style though.

I've had very good experiences with a disability office at the Community College I went to before transferring to this University. I made the error of not doing the disability paperwork for this school, last term. Need a quiet room for study and tests, extra test time (I erase more than I write), and grace with extra absences when I have sleep problems or am too emotional for anyone's good.

At first, I felt like a beggar, taking the paperwork to the instructors, but they were very gracious, and I didn't always require the special accommodations.

I don't know what kind of program you're in, but it sounds like you need an advocate who takes you seriously.