ILoveLife
VIP Member
Morning everyone.
When I'm well-ish I'm opened to be helped, to be nudged in the right directions, to listen to suggestions.
But when I'm not so well, I see others trying to help as attempts of control over me, I start feeling relationship-claustrophobic and lash out.
Example, T gave me homework for arts and crafts and insisted I used a different magazine to the one I wanted to use for a collage.
I don't see the reason for that insistence so my mind instantly goes to "she wants to control me", when I actually can use both magazines or just the one I wanted in the first place without it being a big deal.
This kinda ruined the whole thing for me, I got annoyed and didn't have fun at all doing the collage even though it's something I enjoy doing.
The truth is, I don't care about the magazine that much. What annoyed me was my mind getting confused over the control issue.
And I think the issue isn't the collage at all, but my thing about being controlled.
I suppose, and sorry for the long post, this stems from the abusive relationship I was in, on which he controlled every artistic move I made, until I eventually stopped doing anything remotely artistic.
Now I'm thinking T did this on purpose.
Any insight?
When I'm well-ish I'm opened to be helped, to be nudged in the right directions, to listen to suggestions.
But when I'm not so well, I see others trying to help as attempts of control over me, I start feeling relationship-claustrophobic and lash out.
Example, T gave me homework for arts and crafts and insisted I used a different magazine to the one I wanted to use for a collage.
I don't see the reason for that insistence so my mind instantly goes to "she wants to control me", when I actually can use both magazines or just the one I wanted in the first place without it being a big deal.
This kinda ruined the whole thing for me, I got annoyed and didn't have fun at all doing the collage even though it's something I enjoy doing.
The truth is, I don't care about the magazine that much. What annoyed me was my mind getting confused over the control issue.
And I think the issue isn't the collage at all, but my thing about being controlled.
I suppose, and sorry for the long post, this stems from the abusive relationship I was in, on which he controlled every artistic move I made, until I eventually stopped doing anything remotely artistic.
Now I'm thinking T did this on purpose.
Any insight?
