Relationship Seeking advice to improve my relationship

[Sweetpea76]

Let's stop with the snark and armchair psychology. There is an ignore option for a reason. Likewise, If you find this thread is irritating you, move along and don't post. Keep on topic please.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I'm super confused. As a sufferer I have had MANY people (my own family included) actually say "I'm done with you" to me. It hurts. Because they don't see the fight I have faught with my own brain over the last 9 yrs in therapy. They don't "get" PTSD, BPD (which I am also diagnosed with) or really mental disablity in general. That it gets worse before it gets better. My own father told me that if I couldn't get better in 9 yrs then I should be locked away in a mental hospital for the remainder of my life. So, I've gotten that, a lot. But I'm surely not going to care about that person's birthday. They're done with me. They don't want to stick it out with me so why should I care about their birthday?

I'm not saying this as a judgement at all. Most can't handle a PTSD relationship and that's ok. But, if you are giving this man a vibe that you're done then you really can't be upset that he didn't say anything on your birthday. That's not fair. I understand the hurt. I do. But that's not fair. For either of you.

I do understand that you're venting and your emotions are vaild. And, again, it's ok if you can't be in a PTSD relationship but if you are truely done and are just biding your time and are just roommates until the lease is up then I would not have expectations like that. That's just causing yourself even more pain that's not needed. You have enough pain. Why add more?

 

[Snowflakes]

actually say "I'm done with you" to me.

You have enough pain. Why add more?

@lostforgottensoul I’m not going to speak for the OP but rather share my personal thoughts. When at the end of my rope crying in utter frustration because I didn’t understand the emotional lashing I was enduring from my sufferer....I spoke those words. (I’m done with you) I spoke those words because I was angry and frustrated and I hadn’t been here long enough to understand not taking it personally and setting good boundaries for myself. But I have learned from supporters and because of you and @Freida and a few other sufferers I have learned what you go through, I regret those words.

I did have enough pain and I did move on emotionally. I’ve let go but with one slight difference. As long as my sufferer seriously works her therapy so she learns to manage her illness and be all that she can be, I won’t walk out the door. Perhaps in the future, she may walk out the door....that’s ok too because she very well may be done with me.