Self care and looking after youself

[FrckldGngr]

For me, its nature. I feel most centered when I am surrounded by trees or sitting by a stream. I know this may sound ridiculous, but I am a literal tree hugger. By that I mean that I will actually touch or hug a tree for one minute. Don't laugh.. okay, you can laugh. One minute of contact is actually a really long time. It's amazing how that connection makes me feel.

I am like you in that I was never cared for as a child and have either been wronged by others in my adult life, or I pushed away anyone who put forth real effort in trying to show me love.

There is something very non-threatening about a tree. It can't hurt you, judge you or offer advice. Its strong and tall and deeply rooted.. safe.

I hope this helps.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

For me, its nature. I feel most centered when I am surrounded by trees or sitting by a stream.

My therapist says nature is healing.

 

[NatBird]

Today it's simply honouring, owning and meeting my needs. For example, this eve I need to not call people back and speak but just to be with me and rest

 

[RVA21]

I listen to uplifting or calming music, hug myself, draw, paint, do photography, colour in, play video games, read (currently lots of Harry Potter), go for gentle strolls in nature (I love lakes and waterfalls), watch movies, cuddle plushies (sometimes talk to them and make them talk back to me in a reassuring way), I like children's sticker books - especially Peppa Pig ones, look for interesting things online - WIRED is good on youtube for all sorts of topics, anything that feels good and safe, even just scribbling, doodling, writing without thinking much about what I'm writing, find some animals and watch them - even if it means going to a zoo, or just lie still and close my eyes and try to minimise and think how small my problems are in the grand scheme of things, or how lucky I am, count up the things I DO have in life that are good, even something like being glad I can see, hear, walk etc.

 

[Freida]

Amazon has a bunch of $1.00 guided meditations that I downloaded. I listen to them when I'm stressed out and they are surprisingly effective

 

[NatBird]

today's care:
- listening to dhamma talk
- exercise
- time with the tree
- meditation
- seeing a friend
- not forcing contact/connection if I don't feel it
- making broth to help repair gut
- drinking water
- making nervine tonic for CNS

 

[Keming]

Sometimes "self care" is doing something positive for ourselves when we don't want to or feel disinterested. What I feel can distract from what I need.

I use ambient rain sounds, short walks, and atmospheric gaming (morrowind). When I can, I read.

 

[unbrokenwarrior]

Thanks for all the suggestions, I had therapy today and we talked about this, she thinks the reason I struggle so much with self care is because 1) I feel like I dont deserve it and 2) I'm not used to being looked after so I find it hard to look after myself.

Does anyone else struggle?

 

[RVA21]

That makes sense @unbrokenwarrior, my parents didn't care much for me and I therefore felt I didn't deserve to be cared for. Hope you can work through this and take good care of you, because you DO deserve it :hug:

 

[unbrokenwarrior]

That makes sense @unbrokenwarrior, my parents didn't care much for me and I therefore felt I didn't deserve to be cared for. Hope you can work through this and take good care of you, because you DO deserve it :hug:

Thank you, I really appreciate this xo

 

[NatBird]

Yesterday self care was: doing very little, -taking time to acknowledge and soak up what is good, - resisting the voice that tells me if I don't get it all done now the world will fall apart and I will be condemed to everlasting 'wrongness', - visting and hugging tree, - lying under tree in sun meditating/visioning, - getting bones for more gut repairing broth, - listening to a talk by one of my favorite poets, - making a tastey meal, having a bath, talking and laughing with friend on phone

Today

- cancelling face to face meeting with support worker and doing it over the phone instead. (I felt exhausted) - getting support prioritising and creating a schedule, - exercising, - doing life admin (bills, replacing cards from lost wallet etc), sauna and steam, - good food and not binge eating, - acknowledging hunger was emotional and going out on my bike instead of being in alone, - sitting with tree

The issue with this is I cant tell what is self care, what is standard and what is indulgence

Thanks for this thread. It helps me to see what others are doing, share and keep track of my own actions

I think I need to add fun, play activities

Thanks for all the suggestions, I had therapy today and we talked about this, she thinks the reason I struggle so much with self care is because 1) I feel like I dont deserve it and 2) I'm not used to being looked after so I find it hard to look after myself.

Does anyone else struggle?

Yes

I don't so much with food, exercise etc only when very depressed or in a flashback

I do struggle with self depriving behaviours. eg not buying new clothes, cutlery, taking myself out, building connections/friendships etc

I currently sleep on the floor on two duvets. I have enjoyed this for many years. I would like to get a bed now but use money on other things. It feels hard to give this to myself

I think its a big struggle if you were never shown that you had value and if no one has shown you how to care for yourself

Things have slowly shifted for me as I got friendlier towards myself. I have been able to see when assisted by grace, that my self neglect is re enacting and recognise I am likely in a flashback or dealing in misdirected anger when I go into high levels of self neglect/punishment

I hope this is not totally irrelevent!

We do what we can. Sending support