Self Compassion And Complex Trauma

[ms spock]

Hello Folks,

I am one of the ones that got stuck and kept being retraumatised over and over again. I got so exploited. I was abused terribly by psychologists who got to a difficult part of their healing, and instead of doing the next stage of their healing they started to "work" with clients. I was the perfect victim for them and their alternative ways.

Anyway things have shifted for me big time.

And a few things have assisted - doing challenges, being active, exercise, a good psychiatrist skilled in Complex Trauma, Mindfulness, leaving an unsafe living environment, learning some basic life skills that I had missed, learning about David Burn's book "feeling good" and learning to unpack distorted cognitions, gratitude, friendship, breaking down my triggers and stressors and dealing with them, but one thing that has really helped was Self Compassion, and I wanted to share that here, because I now believe, in my total non expert opinion, that Self Compassion is really important for those with Complex Trauma.

So this website, which has free downloadable guided audio was very helpful.

http://self-compassion.org/

Tara Brach as a youtube video called Attend and Befriend Healing the Fear Body which is interesting and delves briefly in to the neuroscience of it all.

All the best,
ms spock

 

[Purplemunchkin]

Thanks for sharing @Ms Spock, when the holiday stress is over I will suggest to hubby that we have a look.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Hello Folks,

I am one of the ones that got stuck and kept being retraumatised over and over again. I go...

Im scared to click on the link. What if it triggers me as my self dialog are my mom step dad saying what they said "god told me to do this because you were bad...or to love you", "demin child" etc. its sad that im 34 and STILL believe as much as i believe the sky is blue that they talked to god or god talked to them. My life is about self punishment cuz i was/am bad....

Two free therapists in another State i lived in also said yes and acted on my come ons and one other kicked me out for coming on to him. My current therapist and i talk a lot about transference and my possible attachment disorder, its the only way i know how to attach to people, especially people in power, people trying to help, and pastors. Anyway, i'll come back to it when i feel i can push past that fear... thanks for posting!

 

[ms spock]

I wouldn't do it now @lostforgottensoul I would put it off until you are in the right place. I totally relate where you are now. And you need to really take care of yourself and ground as best as you can.

You are very welcome!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I wouldn't do it now @lostforgottesoul I would put it off until you are in the right place. I totally re...

Yeah, if i push too hard i tend to fall backwards and end up cutting and its where i cut that makes that act worse.

I wish someone would answer my, is this CPTSD thread. I posted in the orginal thread of what it is and its such a new term for me. Anyway, i will wait and come back to this.

 

[Saria]

Glad to hear that things have shifted for you @Ms Spock

Self-compassion has really helped me too. It's also gaining more attention in the scientific literature, and a few recent studies has actually found self-compassion to be negatively related to not only complex trauma, but PTSD as well. The trauma center where I'm starting my therapy soon, actually has a group called "Trauma, compassion and mindfulness", and I'm guessing that self-compassion interventions will become more and more used in therapy as it gets more support in the scientific community. So I think we have found a really healing and helpful tool for dealing with complex trauma.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Glad to hear that things have shifted for you @Ms Spock

Self-compassion has really hel...

Do they really need scenicific prove that being compasionate for oneself and self love helps trauma surviors and really anyone? Forgive me, i havent read the link, thats a bit too much too fast for me.

 

[Saria]

No, not at all! I understand your question and agree that it's pretty self-evident. But at least where I'm from psychologists need to give treatment that is "evidence-based", meaning that it has been conducted some research on the treatment method, and that it has been found helpful. So my point is that research on self-compassion is great (because I believe they will find that it is helpful), and then more therapists will know about it and also use it as a therapeutic intervention. If that makes sense

 

[Scandinavgirl]

Thank you for the link. I agree with you - I think self-compassion is the key to many problems (for me anyway). I notice how I can talk myself into a "self-hate" state where it is very dark. My inner voice is also creating "catastrophes" in my head. So I have begun practising good self-talk, but puha it is difficult. These videos seem helpful, though.

 

[ms spock]

@Scandinavgirl the ten distorted cognitions of David Burns is very helpful. I found his book "Feeling Good" an amazing read for me - I didn't realise how depressed that I had been.

If you are interested:

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/are-you-familiar-with-the-top-ten-distorted-cognitions.57711/

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/name-that-distorted-cognition-thought-perception.54277/

 

[ms spock]

People talked about how self love was important, and I always thought but I am such a bad person, there can be no self love for me, and it turns out that Self Compassion is the key for my Complex Trauma - Developmental Challenges - my Serious Attachment issues and my PTSD. I would never have believed it though.

 

[Saria]

A couple of months ago, I was fortunate to have the opportunity to talk with a man who formerly was a monk, and has been practising mindfulness and compassion (two wings of a bird :) ) for over 40 years. At that point I felt everything was going downhill for me, and couldn't possibly believe that I ever would be able to care for myself. He told me that everyone, absolutely everyone, no matter what you've experienced, no matter how much abuse you've suffered, everyone has the ability to cultivate self-compassion. It will only take more time and patience. I try to remember that conversation everyday when self-compassion and self-love seems impossible.