Self harm help

[Rumors]

First, I wanted to say that you don't have to self harm. Next, just wanted to say that you are so worthy of love and happiness. I hope you can find something today that brings you some peace. Even if it is to work hard and have a really productive day, when it ends you at least feel good about all that you have done.
I don't self harm but I do other harming things to myself when I get to that space. I feel so incredibly lonely even though I am surrounded by people. I hate it. It's like I am hallow. Nothing inside except a ball of mush that doesn't make sense other than it feels bad. It is like a big bucket of mixed up paint and I have all of these colors churned up but none of them could really paint a picture. It's really lonely. So, I stay busy. When thoughts come that feel like I can make sense of them, I sit with it and decide what I can pull from it to make sense and start painting that picture. Most of all, I come here bc no one in my world, other than my therapist, know about "my story" and it feels good to be with other people who feel and understand the same things. Those are times where I am hanging by a thread and can't really even take on anything else.
So, with all that said, I am glad you are reaching out because you don't have to self harm today. We are here to listen. You don't need a reason to have a bad day or feel badly. You just need to sit with it for a while until it makes sense. Until then, I would encourage you to do some things that keep you busy and productive. Sending you tons of strength!!!

 

[Sideways]

you are so worthy of love and happiness.

I say this to other members. But having this said to me is frightening.

This thread is crossing over with my one on acceptance. I know the self harm stuff. The world makes sense when I do it. I know exactly who I am when I do it. And even though I hate me, loathe me...the alternative, that I deserve something better, possibly always have? That feels too big and too awful. Self harm is bad, but if I never deserved it in the first place, how much worse does that make it? How do I cope with all this pointless, pointless suffering?

I don't know if I can even handle an answer to that. But thank you @Rumors - part of me knows how valuable it is just to have someone say those words, even if they're painful.

 

[BlueOrange]

I say this to other members. But having this said to me is frightening.

This thread is crossin...

This is where I am right now. I feel like I've been offered parole after a lifetime of incarceration. I'm scared that I won't know how to 'make it on the outside'.

 

[Ronin]

How do I cope with all this pointless, pointless suffering?

But suffering always is pointless, it's people being brilliant that make sense of it, that add in courage and meaning and help and a way out of despair, it's not 'just your' suffering that's like it, suffering of more people is exactly the same kind of shit, and a way out of it is available?

 

[shimmerz]

You are beautiful and helpful and smart and kind and caring. It makes me sad that you are suffering so. I wish for you the peace that such a lovely soul deserves.