Self injury

[cherryblossom]

Brokenchild, there is no need to apologise for posting what you did. I was just concerned for you, and wanted you to think of other options of help available to you. As Nyx has said, it is ok to post how you feel etc, but she is right, firstly there are lots of times when members simply aren't on line, and secondly, just because someone is on line, doesn't mean they are in a position to help you. Also, it was nothing personal, I would say the same to anyone.

If any member is in crisis, ie contemplating SH, or feeling suicidal, please go off line, and seek proffessional help, or support from someone in real life. If you are prone to SH, or suicide ideation, I suggest you compile a list of people/organisations you can call. Ask family members or friends, if you can call them when you are feeling low, for support and distraction.

 

[brokenchild]

I guess I just don't consider SI to be that serious, or a "crisis" for me. I understand that we're not professionals and no always online. I just said I wouldn't post like that again as I don't want people to worry, or trigger any else.

 

[cherryblossom]

SI is serious hon. You deserve to feel better, without having to hurt yourself.
Take good care :hug:

 

[brokenchild]

It's been a few days since I last SI'ed and haven't really had any extreme urges since then. I've also been keeping myself fairly busy with things.

 

[skye]

What do you do when you need to talk and no one is around? What do you do when you can't stop doing bad things? What do you do when you feel your driving others away with your insanity?! What do you do when you can't take it anymore?

And please don't say talk to a therapist. I can't ...if that's the only answer I'm doomed.

 

[Nyx]

What do you do when you need to talk and no one is around?

Find other people to talk to. Enlarge your support system. If your support system consists of only this forum, then you have big chances of not having anyone to talk to at times. Find live people to talk to, to call, to meet, etc.

What do you do when you can't stop doing bad things?

You try harder to stop. There is no "I can't staop", there's just not having tried hard enough. What bad things do you do? What causes you to do those things? What have you tried so far as a solution?

What do you do when you feel your driving others away with your insanity?!

Find people who don't get scared of a little "insanity". That's what I did.

What do you do when you can't take it anymore?

With the risk of repeating myself, try harder. Maybe you need a break. Maybe you've had too long of a break. I can't really say because I don't know what's going on with you. But fact is - and this is going to pinch a little - it seems to me you are not trying to help yourself at all. You are just spinning around in circles and wondering what to do.

As I have told other member here, my powerful belief is that when we get stuck we need to ask for help. But ask for actual help to actual problems. No one can adivse you when you just say "I'm sad / I'm desperate / I've had enough". Tell us why. Tell us what leads you there. Tell us what methods you have tried. No one can help without having the information. We can only tell you vague things because we only know vague things..

And please don't say talk to a therapist. I can't ...if that's the only answer I'm doomed.

Why can't you? What's a therapist going to do to you? Who have you tried talking to until now?

 

[Lucycat]

Skye, as I said before I was vomiting, not Cutting, but nevertheless I was so ashamed of it that I told no-one for a very long time. Many years. When I realised that I needed to tackle it, I wanted to tell my T. but didn't know how to go about it.

Eventually, I sent a text to my T. that I had something to tell him that I was ashamed of and didn't know how to talk about. By doing that I had forced the issue and he then asked me when he next came to see me. It meant that he raised the subject and I had no going back. But it felt such a relief to have it in the open. Of course he was not judgemental, nor even surprised. It was him that told me it was a form of self harm. That enabled me to put it into perspective and to know what I was dealing with.

Are you seeing a T. at the moment anyway? Would the problem be that you are not and would have to find one and start the whole process of building a trusting relationship before this would/could surface?

 

[krystina]

Skye, why can't you talk to a therapist?
It was one of the best ideas I ever had and I have never regretted not going. It is hard to bring all the issues up to a stranger, but this is why you start making a relationship with your T, once your comfortable with your T, then you know that you are ready to talk about your issues.
Just give it a try. Sometimes meds don't take care of everything, they don't make your memories go away.
Skye I know that you will do what is right for you.

 

[jadebear]

And please don't say talk to a therapist. I can't ...if that's the only answer I'm doomed.

I'm not sure of your reasons for not being able to talk to a therapist, but I'm assuming you just feel like you can't. And that's what I thought too.

I got to a point where I had no other choice but to talk to my T. about what was going on in my head, what I was thinking , feeling and doing. I knew I either had to talk to him or keep suffering in silence.

It was very hard and humiliating, but I did it. And I pulled up my sleeves and showed him my arms, and there was no explanation needed after he saw what I had done/was doing again.

The suffering was worse than the humiliation of being honest with him. Now we're able to talk about it and we are working on coping skills. I feel much better knowing that when I'm going through a rough time I have someone that I can turn to for help that isn't going to judge me and that I can trust.

 

[cherryblossom]

What do you do when you need to talk and no one is around? What do you do when you can't stop doing bad things? What do you do when you feel your driving others away with your insanity?! What do you do when you can't take it anymore?

And please don't say talk to a therapist. I can't ...if that's the only answer I'm doomed.

You might not like what I'm going to say, but if you have a therapist and you can't/won't/don't talk to them openly, and honestly, then you are wasting both your times, and your money. I suggest you find a therapist that you can talk to. If you don't have a therapist then I suggest you find another outlet for your emotions. Talk to a trusted friend or family member, type things out here, write in a journal, or write on paper and then burn or shred what you've written. Clearly, if you have been keeping everything to yourself, this strategy is not working. Sometimes we need someone elses perspective and points of view to help us with our negative thoughts. You need to start sharing, somehow. I assume you have heard phrase "Feel the fear and do it anyway" (a self-help book title), well sometimes actually doing something, like talking to a therapist is never as bad as we imagine it will be.

Creativity can also be a great outlet for emotions - music, drawing, painting, dancing. Any form of exercise is great for 'burning off' excess adrenaline and anxiety. Also relaxation activities such as breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, aromatherapy, massage, warm bubble baths etc, should help when feeling stressed or anxious.Also distraction can help. Read a book, watch your favourite 'feel good' movie, or your favourite comedy show, or play a computer game.

As for doing bad things, if you are referring to self harm or self injury, you need to first work out what triggers you, and then work out your own action plan to come up with alternative coping plans that work for you. Then you need to work on reducing those triggers, rather than avoiding them. Exposure therapy may help with this. If self harm is an issue then I suggest you read the [DLMURL="http://sexabuse.ptsdforum.org/threads/self-worth-and-depression.247/page-2#post-4186"]this post[/DLMURL]

If you feel like you are driving people away, it may be because they don't understand why you are behaving in a certain way. Maybe you could try explaining a little of what you are going through, yes this will involve sharing a little:eek:, but keeping all this bottled up is clearly doing you more harm than good.

And when you feel you can't take any more, you fight harder, and get pro-active. Work out positive ways you can help yourself , and ask for help from others ;)

 

[anthony]

And please don't say talk to a therapist. I can't ...if that's the only answer I'm doomed.

That is where online comes into play... you need to say things, and anonymity is the key to the web... you just blurt it out and write it all down, hit send and its now into cyber-space for others to read and hopefully provide you some answers. The beauty of the web. Use it to your advantage... the ability to talk 24/7 with people across the world, timezones, is a really good thing when you need it there to use. Use it when you need it, then leave it alone when you don't.

 

[krystina]

Anthony is right and I know that I said I wouldn't go on but I kind of wanted to see what anthony wrote!
I love the fact that everyone is from different countries and it is very cool that I can just about talk to anyone
whenever I want or need to!