Self-medicating with alcohol

[whirleygurl]

I've been dealing with PTSD for 5 years. Had some therapy, it didn't do much. Tried prescriptions, all kinds of things, nothing worked, except...

Wine. Just a glass or two now and then. Then every day. Then wine and a shot of whisky or vodka. Then a bottle of wine and a couple shots of whiskey AND vodka etc., you get it.

It insidious how easily you can become dependent on alcohol to soothe your PTSD symptoms. It's cheap. Readily available, easy to find. Comes in sizes you can hide easily. When you're having those anxious feelings, lonely feelings, fear, or nervousness, you take a drink or two and it will cool you right out. The effect is instant, heady, you feel in control, false courage takes over and you aren't afraid of anything. Mellow. So then... why not another drink. Just a small one. Now you're feeling like Wonder Woman. How about a shot this time... wow, that feels good.... maybe just another glass of wine...

We live in a remote area. Interesting how no matter how far out you live, there is always a little liquor store or corner market that sells the Quick and Easy .... the simple solution... the magic thing that kills the bad feelings. Problem is, it doesn't just kill the bad feelings, it kills the good ones too. Before you know it, you're not doing anything you like to do anymore. Which makes you depressed, aggravates the PTSD, and you drink to kill it, and the cycle begins again...

 

[Casey_03]

You summed it up very succinctly. It's good that you're aware of the dependency issue -- not everyone who self-medicates is aware of that. I spent a good ten years self-medicating, and it got worse and worse, I got re-traumatized ... and now I don't drink anymore. I stopped when I got pregnant with my first child. All I can say is ... I feel like a completely different person without alcohol. I see things more clearly, I'm more productive, I don't dwell on things as much. I would offer advice on how to STOP being dependent on alcohol, but the truth is there is no such advice. It's different for everybody. And you'll stop (hopefully) when you get a good reason to stop. I guess the main thing is to stay aware of the dependency, and try to find others to talk to in similar situations (there are plenty of us on here who've been through this or are still going through it).

 

[Deadman]

Oh yeah. I hear you. I live way out in the weeds. Its hard to find healthy food at the two corner markets here but you can buy almost any type of alcohol you desire. I wish it was a little less at hand.

 

[whirleygurl]

I have started A.A. meetings, I am going to stop. I've committed to 52 meetings which equates to 1 a week for a year. I've been to one so far and it was great. Nice people. Just like you and me. So 1 down 51 to go. Hah! I've been sober 3 weeks and doing fine, although I do get an occasional craving which seems to happen when I'm alone, anxious, or depressed about something. Then I want a drink. Interesting that it took me this long to figure out that the drinking was to hide from the PTSD feelings so I wouldn't have to deal with them. De Nile ain't just a river in Egypt. Like Deadman says, it's everywhere even out here in the weeds, more available than healthy food. That is because...

...here's another wicked thing about alcohol abuse. It is in FACT socially acceptable to abuse alcohol. So many people drink every day. Or they binge drink and say they don't have a problem with alcohol because they only drink every few days - doesn't matter that they nearly pass out when they do or get arrested or whatever.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Good for you for taking that step.... I quit drinking years and years ago. I don't miss it. A person can do whatever they want, if they really want to. There has to be the "want to quit" in order to quit drinking, smoking, drugs, or whatever......

Good luck with this.....