Separation Anxiety involving therapist

[Skywatcher]

@grit, thank you. That was a tricky read. I did find it interesting. I don’t have borderline, but I definitely do have some of the traits. I found the sample of the therapist leaving and the client seeing the T’s name on gravestones interesting. My T and I spent one of my sessions last week basically coming up with a plan in case she dies. I know this sounds morbid, but having the plan and the name of a t she would recommend and her looking me in the eye telling me that she has no plans of dying, that she enjoys life and is a careful person was very comforting.

Things are rough right now because my emdr last week pulled up somatic stuff and a specific memory. And it was terrifying. My SUDS started at a 9 and I’m not sure if it ever left there. And the things to comfort my young self only partially worked. The stubborn three year old won’t leave with me because she knows mom is there (even though she can’t get to her.) T suggested I clone mom, but cloning mom doesn’t work. My brain won’t allow that. Hopefully, my next visit will help lower it down before T leaves.

 

[grit]

I am sorry you are struggling. It is a difficult excerpt but powerful if you read it different vtimes when you are feeling a little better. It is not easy.
The word borderline does not mean BPD as today. It meant more or less disassociation those days.