Seriously Again

[PTSDsucks1227]

So summer of 2008 I stumbled upon my little brothers phone and being the nosy person I was I decided to look through it . I was in complete shock when I saw graphic images of boys having sex with each other so not only was I in shock to see these images I was in shock to find them on my brothers phone long story short I developed PTSD the images flashbacks were so severe I couldn't hang out with friends because the thoughts would come back I also developed depression because of this after I was released I became better the thoughts images didn't bother me for four years I felt better and suddenly this past Sunday everything has come flooding back the same feeling thoughts and depression it completely zones me out I've recently told my mother about seeing a psych so I can finally figure out why this bothers me like it does if there's anyone there with advice or similar situation please feel free to respond

 

[catjudo]

Just trying to clarify and understand... You saw images of boys having sex with each other. Were these boys in the photos of similar age to each other? Or were these pictures of someone being abused? And how old were you when you found these images?

 

[PTSDsucks1227]

They were of teen boys and I believe I was 20 it was def some sort of pornography

 

[catjudo]

So when you were in your 20's you accidentally happened upon some photographs of teenage boys having sex with other teenage boys and subsequently developed PTSD?

 

[PTSDsucks1227]

Yes ridiculous I know but that's what the doctor told me at the hospital whatever it was it messed me up pretty bad and for whatever reason the same way I felt then is starting to come back and I have no idea why now this was my little brother he was 16 at the time

 

[catjudo]

Unless I'm missing something, that doesn't really seem to meet the criteria of a traumatic event for a diagnosis of PTSD. Had you experienced some other traumatic event prior to that at some point in your life? Sometimes a person can develop PTSD symptoms after an upsetting event but the onset of those symptoms is merely triggered by that upsetting event and the PTSD itself was actually caused by a previous trauma.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I believe @catjudo is correct in that simply seeing images can't cause PTSD as it doesn't meet criterion "A" of the PTSD diagnosis.

Do you have other trauma which meets criterion A? A lot of people experience trauma and seem unaffected. Later on a minor event occurs and they think the minor event is the cause of PTSD when it's just the trigger. Focusing on the triggering event at the expense of the actual cause can be detrimental to the healing process. My trigger was something so incredibly benign in comparison that I never talk about it. But, I don't need to. I processed the original trauma and can now see the triggering event as it truly is.

 

[PTSDsucks1227]

Well a year prior to that happening I did walk in to my dads botched suicide attempt the doctor explained to me that I had been dealing with depression for a long time and that my " cup" simply over flowed with the situation about my brothers phone but he determined it was some sort of traumatic shock

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Ahhh gotcha. I'd say that finding your dad is the cause as it meets criterion A and your brother triggered you into full blown PTSD.

 

[PTSDsucks1227]

I honestly don't know why it bothers me so much I thought I was over it but the hopeless thoughts anxiety started happening recently again before I was able to brush it off but it's bothering me again and when it does i feel like it completely warps me like I'm not myself

 

[GingerAli]

Is there a significance to this time of year? Like is thins when your dad tried to commit suicide? Sometimes things like that can unknowingly trigger you. I agree with the others in that the pornographic pics can't cause PTSD but are more likely a trigger. It may be helpful to work on figuring out what both situations have in common as far as thoughts and feelings go. Have you considered seeing a therapist for counseling instead of a psychiatrist? Psychiatrist are likely to prescribe meds but therapist with hell you to figure out the mental aspects involved.

 

[PTSDsucks1227]

I don't know if this attributes to anything but I have been in and out of the hospital almost everyday for the past two weeks my uncle was severely injured in a motorcycle accident and now come to think of it the suicide attempt did happen around the fall time but I agree maybe seeing a therapist is what I need I just hate the fact that I've been doing fine and then all of a sudden this happens