Seriously Need Advice About Work

[lighteningdarkness]

So I have a stressful job which involves supporting people.

There haven't been concerns raised before I go on holiday, I get back and am told my record keeping isn't good enough and I'm likely to get a final warning. A few days after getting back I try to take my life. I'm working with my T. I don't feel like I can work safely (for me or for others) but I'm worried to go sick now.

I don't know whether they'd just sack me or think I was playing games. Part of me just wants to tell them to poke it which I know would be a really bad idea

I'd appreciate any advice or experience anyone has to share, thanks

 

[Squaddiedave]

In some ways sick leave helps, but in other way makes things harder as going back becomes a mental hurdle as well. Perhaps an informal chat with your supervisor/line manager may help? At least then they will be aware of the situation?

Can relate to this well buddy, fought depression for years, being n the military it's seen as a weakness by the older generation.

 

[Belle]

A few days after getting back I try to take my life. I'm working with my T. I don't feel like I can work safely (for me or for others) but I'm worried to go sick now.

I think you have to think about yourself and if you feel that you are not able to guarantee you can work safely your own or others then it could spiral in a negative way. See if you can speak to a line manager and perhaps they can put some support in place?

 

[lighteningdarkness]

Thanks for the responses. My line manager is in no way supportive.

Since posting I experienced a flash back when with a client, this was a first. I spoke to my doctor and was signed off within about 2 hours. I feel I've failed so badly.

Squadie, I now understand your post. This is my 2nd day and I'm already worrying about how I can go back. A lot of that is my professional confidence which (whilst never great) has been blown by a inexperienced and unfeeling manager too interested in targets.

She never said a word about if there was anything she / employer could do, if there was anything that could help. She wouldn't even let me finish the reports I had stating 'if something goes wrong you'll say 'I was sick''. Great.

So, disciplinary in about 5 weeks and no-one accepting a duty of care. Too much to ask for I gues - squaddie I'm hoping this is where you say the military takes really good care of you? Whereabouts are you?

 

[Hashi]

L&D, I looked at your profile and saw you're in England.

PTSD counts as a disability and you automatically have some legal protection if you have this diagnosis. Your employer can't just sack you, far from it. They have to make reasonable adjustments for you when you return to work. They also have to allow you all the paid sick leave you need (as long as you follow the procedures, and it's within your annual entitlement), and if they treated you negatively because of taking it that would be discrimination.

Do you have a union you can talk to? If not, I strongly suggest ringing the Acas helpline:
Monday-Friday, 8am-8pm and Saturday, 9am-1pm: 08457 47 47 47
It's free and confidential, and they're very helpful. It would be good to have copy of your contract and any policies, but you can still ring them even if you don't have these.

Do you have someone who could go with you to the disciplinary? It's really useful to have someone else there to take notes and give moral support. Your legal right is to have a union rep, union official or a work colleague - your employer's disciplinary procedure may give you more than this. I'd ask your union or Acas about the disciplinary too.

It doesn't sound like they're following proper procedures - if they were, the process would be better for everyone. Acas can advise you about this and what you can do.

 

[lighteningdarkness]

Thanks for your reply and advice Hashi

Luckily I joined the union about 6 months ago. I have spoken to my rep and she was present at the previous 'investigatory interview' but to be honest I didn't feel she was much support. She will be coming to the Hearing with me. She has suggested that I get statements from colleages to support specific things that I am stating (e.g. me telling my boss that things wouldn't be able to be completely up to date and her reply of 'just do what you can') but I'm reluctant to bring them into it.

Also a colleage who is also an out of work friend isn't replying to my texts which make me think that they have been told not to be in contact with me. This has happened before (with others).

I will take your advice and speak to Acas.

I have received a letter from by boss saying she has been trying to contact me (which is a crock) and has referred me to Occupational Health. Still making my mind up whether this is a good thing or not.

 

[Belle]

Occupational Health were really helpful and listened, I was referred and initially wasn't happy about this but it ended up being very useful. Seeing OH helped me to get the right counselling for PTSD. It might be a good thing for you too.

 

[Hashi]

I'm in an HR network (since this is part of my job) and a common thing said is that people are never sure how to react to hearing they need to see Occupational Health, but Occupational Health is the greatest opportunity for resolving issues for everyone. The law's on your side, L&D, and a referral to Occupational Health can be a face-saving way for everyone to draw a line under what's happened so far and find solutions to go forward. Let them save face, it's in your best interests to as long as you get treated right from now on. An Occupational Health appointment is probably a very good thing.

BTW, if your boss wants to show she's been trying to contact you she needs to show the signature on recorded delivery letters and the delivery receipts and read receipts on emails... it probably is a crock, and everyone's going to know it if she doesn't have these, whatever she claims. Don't give your energy to this nonsense, focus on getting what you need.

 

[PTSD sufferer]

L&D,

Hashi's advice is excellent and spot on. Don't let their attempts at game playing to bring you down, it's pure tactic on their behalf, and they need proof as Hashi mentioned. I'd go to the OH meeting too. The union can be a great help, so keep in touch with them and keep them in the loop.

If things get really bad, you can seek legal advice and request a copy of all your records held by the company under Freedom of Information with a short deadline for them. Don't tell the company you are planning to do this though, best to keep it as a surprise. You will then have all of your performance documents and I am sure you will find that they do not have a leg to stand on. They have not followed procedures. They have not given you necessary warnings, they have not offered opportunity through training to improve anything by the sounds of it.

OH and HR cannot make decisions on your health needs, only you, in consultation with your T can make these decisions. So don't let them pressure you, and you don't need to tell them your story. You are in control of you and your needs. Not them. And, they cannot force your hand to do anything you don't want and don't need.

Keep calm and cool when meeting with OH. Just listen and don't debate. Respond with non descriptive things like 'I will think about that' and 'thank you for your suggestions'. Remember that this is all the politicking of companies and not a reflection on you as a person. Anyone who has worked in a company, PTSD or not, has faced this 'nasty' and 'illogical' side of business. Don't let their poor management and their lack of competence in management get to you. Remember, you are strong, you are capable, and you are a survivor!

Please have a union rep with you for any meetings with OH, HR or whenever in doubt have them there. If anyone says you don't need union rep, they are lying. Tell them that your will book a meeting next week with union rep present.


At the OH meeting, ask questions as this is an information gathering opportunity and not a disciplinary service. Questions like why the company feels you need OH assistance? what can they do for you and what outcome are they looking for from these suggestions? You don't need to tell them anything about yourself as this is private information. Let OH know that you the support of Professionals outside of the company, and that you will discuss their suggestions with your Professional and get back to them.

It sounds like the manager has egg on her face as when you went away, she was not able to manage what you do every day at the company! Some serious lack of competency on her part and a nasty adult tantrum too! Shame on her! Don't let her issues become your own - they are her issues, not yours.

Hang in there and let us know how you get on. You are a survivor and of great value. Remember that. The only other thing I would do is to keep a paper trail as much as you can, and do keep the union involved every step of the way. You have rights.

 

[lighteningdarkness]

I so appreciate you all taking the time and effort to reply to me, your advice and encouragement are really welcome and go a long way to keep me going.

I will go to the OH appointment, it's good to know that I don't necessarily have to share personal stuff. I think it may be beneficial, if only as they may pay for some of my therapy.

I hate game playing, such a ridiculous waste of time.

I do have copies of my fourtnightly supervision notes (all saying that things are fine), copies of audits & emails including the one where she endorsed an application for career progression a week before I went on leave.

This sucks. I think the worst thing is knowing that management will never be found, or admit, to doing anything wrong and I'll have another hour + meeting of going through what wasn't done and trying to justify it. I never think that what I do is good enough anyway so trying to defend myself is so difficult.

This morning my union rep has sent an email saying that the delay is too long (hearing was for July 29th), my director has replied stating he will try to bring this forward. He also asked me if I was receiving management support (hah! Like I had that when I was working) and if I was aware that I could get access a councelling service. I sent a polite reply, I even read it serveral times to make sure it was.....

Thanks again for the advice

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Well done L&D. You have a great head on your shoulders and you have already done the leg work with paperwork, and you are well prepared.

I know that it is hard to appreciate our own talents, value and successes. This is part and parcel of the illness - the negative self talk. Remember that those feelings are the illness talking and not a true reflection of who YOU are.

I think you are very smart and doing a great job of managing this difficult situation.

I hate game playing, such a ridiculous waste of time.

I couldn't agree more!

You're doing really well L&D. You have done everything the smart way. xxoo

 

[lighteningdarkness]

So I have my hearing with my director, team manager, 2 xHR, me and my union rep on Monday morning. I have just finished my statement, feel really bad being critical of my team manager. Also feeling pretty pants as I have been honest about things that weren't done (mainly recordings).

I have a meeting with my union tomorrow. It is a different person and I feel more confident in her. She has meetings with my director regularly, we both feel that he is fair - she says he's more interested in getting to the bottom of what's gone on and not just protecting management.

My doctor raised this morning if I should be attending given that I am off sick. He is clear that what's going on for me pre-dates the difficulty at work and is somewhat unhappy that the attitude at work is that I've thrown my toys out of my pram.

Feeling ill at the thought of Monday and really hoping that I won't just disasociate through all of it.