Set Back.... Er Made Me Take 3 Steps Back

[livingwiththis]

I have been in and out of the emergency room for the past 4 days.... I have had so many tests because they couldn't figure out what was wrong..... I had to take all week off work because of the pain I've been having...... pelvic pain..... the first day I was in the ER they gave me Tylenol 3s and sent me home saying the pain would go away.... obviously I ended up back there this time with antibiotics saying I had a severe UTI...... next I ended up back there because I can't stop vomiting..... this time they did an ultrasound...... the did an external one then an internal one who h left me having severe panic attacks, flashbacks and dissociation like crazy.... I got the results and they claim I have a severe UTI that caused my kidney to be infected so that's why I'm in so much pain but the antibiotics should help..... I seen my psychiatrist later today after the tests and I told her I was really triggered and I kept dissociating instead of spending the session talking I spent it with her trying to bring me back..... we agreed not to let me dissociate in her office unless someone has something important to say which has never happened because im to embarrassed about having DID (I have CPTSD and DID because I was sexually abused as a child)

all the pelvic exams they did and the internal ultrasound has me completely overwhelmed even where the pain is is very triggering to me everything that happened is overly triggering g causing me to dissociate..... I can't control it but never really could..... just even now I take Tylenol 3s and the pain doesent go away which is so hard for me..... to be honest I've been thinking a lot about SU everything is to much for me to handleave

I don't know what to do about work..... I'm supposed to go back Monday but if I'm still in pain should I go back? I'm sure lifting kids isn't going to hEl (I'm a nanny)
why doesn't my husband understand how much pain this is causing me?
I honestly am at the edge of my rope and I don't know what to do.......
I feel alone and crazy like Noone understands me

 

[Shady_99']

I hope your pain eases off, I too have a husband that just doesn't understand my illnesses

 

[Seagreen]

Oh that's horrible. I had an internal ultrasound once too. I had also been assaulted earlier that day. It was really is awful and invasive. It sounds like you have a pretty serious infection and defiantly shouldn't go back to work until you are recovered. Especially since you have such a physical job. Take care of yourself so that your body has a chance to get better. Otherwise you might wind up in hospital. I've heard that kidney infections can be really painful. Your husband should understand.

 

[livingwiththis]

Thanks for the replies

@Karmasmama14 thank you and it's nice to know my husband isn't the only one who just doesn't get it

@Seagreen it is really painful and he gets the pain part and will get me things because when I move it hurts but he doesn't understand how the pain reminds me of bad memories or how an internal ultra sound is really invasive especially if you've been abused..... I think you are right I should hold back on work I can't do a good job if I'm in pain and I don't want to end up in the hospital

The pain is so bad I've been getting sick and I can't keep the antibiotics down if that continues I will end up in the hospital on an IV which I'm terrified of

 

[Seagreen]

@livingwiththis Now I see what you meant. Its a shame your husband doesn't understand. Mine probably wouldn't either.
Hope you start to feel yourself again soon.

 

[Friday]

A kidney infection is something that is borderline admittable... In the ER I worked in about half could be treated at home, the other half had to be admitted for IV antibiotics and pain management.

So don't you dare think about going to work when you're trying to recoup from this! If you're able to keep your fever down and the infection under control at home, awesome. But this isn't a trivial thing. Kidney infections are very, very serious. This is not a cold. This is a life threatening infection that needs to be treated with your best standard of care (rest, meds, fluids, pain management, rest, rest, rest, fluids, fluids, fluids) or you could very well end up hospitalized with a systemic infection or permanent kidney damage.

 

[livingwiththis]

@FridayJones I really had no idea it was so serious...... as much as I hate the hospital I kinda wish I was admitted because the pain has been non stop even when I take pain meds it doesn't even make a dent I've been on antibiotics for 2 days now and still no improvement I see my GP on Monday afternoon so I'm hoping because he knows all my history that he may be able to help more then the ER doctor....... my fever has been under scoundrel and only comes back if I don't have the Tylenol every 4 hours......... thanks for the insight..... I wish the Dr would have told me it's so serious

 

[Friday]

It's probably in your discharge notes. Under the "come back immediately if ABC, follow up with your own doctor if XYZ" section. Oftentimes ER docs are just either so thrilled to have found the problem ( :D! Ha! It's this!!!) that it mistranslates, or so worn down by so many other things that are touch and go that anything not immediately life threatening is no biggie, or simply assume of course that's what you do if ABC, duh. (Face palm).

The nurses try and catch as much of that slack as they can... But people fall through the cracks. Either a speedy discharge, or zonked on meds, or called away on an emergency. Or, or, or. Part of why discharge paperwork is such a blessing these days. I'm terrible, though. I read my sons & query them on it / make notes... but tend to fold it in half, shove it in my purse, and only read my own looooong after the notes say to do something. Whoops. But in my defense, when it's my own paperwork, I'm usually zonked out on pain med ;)

 

[Chava]

So sorry for all you're dealing with. Pelvic pain is terrible and so is that kind of ultrasound. I don't have DID but I can dissociate or get very numb or spacey at times, and after hitting my limit on Ob/gyn stuff I just had to hide in the smallest room in my house for a while (after hiding in a bathroom at the clinic for a long time and trying to just be quiet and grounded). I was scared and very angry, even though I perfectly understood people were trying to help me and I was also trying to be proactive and help myself. My body just had a limit.

Ditto on forgetting about work at the moment. And calling hospital back or going back if pain stays high. Sounds serious and it's hard for our bodies to fight infection when compounded by a lot of stress or triggers. I take tramadol (opiate-like) for pelvic and back pain and beyond a couple I think it can make the dissociating tendencies stronger too because they start numbing me out. But pain itself spills into meltdowns and wanting to hurt myself if not controlled. So it is just a super uncomfortable place to be in...pain makes me feel very trapped.

Now that they know what you are dealing with hopefully the worst, most invasive tests are done, but hopefully you can go back for help treating this if needed. Also, finding ways to just feel safe, like wrapping up in a blanket, "hiding" somewhere, shutting out stuff as needed, etc, and make sure you are eating/hydrating well with the pain meds. Hang in there!!!! :hug:

 

[livingwiththis]

@FridayJones I never even got discharge paperwork.... I never had from my ER maybe that's not common practice in canada? I asked to Dr what to do if the pain didn't go away and he replied to me.... it will and walked away..... he never said come back if.........

Here in canada the ER are packed I waited hours to be seen, I honestly would rather pay to get more attentive care and to not have to wait for hours

@Chava thanks for understanding the pain I'm going through.... hiding is exactly what I did my husband doesn't get I don't want him to touch me so I just go to bed and curl up with a heavy blanket it helps calm me...... I might just let myself dissociate in those situations it's so hard to fight and the meds are probably making things worse

Thank you both for replying

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I had a kidney infection after I had my last child. I was admitted to the hospital for three days. It was very painful and took a while to get a handle on. The first time I went in, they gave me meds and sent me home, and said I should start feeling better the next day. I didn't so we called and they told me to come right back and that's when they admitted me. Is there a number on your discharge papers that you can call to question how much pain you're in and if you should return? And I can completely relate to the ultrasound triggering flashbacks.

 

[Em C.]

As a fellow Canadian we do rarely get actual paperwork it's more of a verbal thing which is unfortunate. I've had to learn to make myself say "ok if it isn't better by x when do I come back?" It's hard being assertive to these people when you have ptsd/tired/in immense pain etc. I tend to bring my best friends with me when I go because it keeps me calm enough to make sure I know what the doc said as well as having them know too if I forget.

Also, hugs!

I don't know what area of Canada you're in but if you're in Ontario I can suggest some hospitals where you get seen relatively quickly :)