Still Need Help With Boundary Violation Struggles
As most of you know I'm back at work.
I know about setting boundaries and I'm much better at doing it without the shaking, trembling and all around distaste for having to do it. But there is still an amount of that. But I do it and I do it in a straight forward manner and firmly if needed.
I'm not having to interact with other much at this job (Thank Heavens), but I do have a field tech who I've sort of taken under my wing and been teaching him about this field.
He has done great for me in the field, but now the project is over and he just won't take that fact as an answer. There was sort of a mix up and the owner ended up giving him the camera I requested directly instead of giving it to me.
I've been out taking the shots needed on my BF's camera cause I was tired of waiting and wanted to be in the field for some other analysis.
I told my tech very clearly. I am taking the photos. Finish up the GPS work and then we are done.
So, the last two days he's been out in the field taking two shots that I guess the owner told him to take AND taking photos of all the transects, etc.
Less than a week ago I said that the photo part was being taken care of by me.
Yesterday he calls and is saying he's out there taking photos of transects, invasive patches, etc etc. I said, "I told you to take the two photos Dave wanted and the rest was not to be done by you."
He was just silent on the phone and then would say stupid stuff over and over like, 'well, there was a heron down stream.' "there was Phalarus in the patches.' "there were salmon in channel A.'
Every time he made a statement I repeated what I said above firmly and told him to leave the camera in the scale house for me to pick up.
He had me on the phone for 20" with this back and forth BS. I wanted to say, "What part of English do you not understand?" I was in the middle of something at home and my anger was getting out of control.
Then I was furious inside. I talked with BF and decided I needed to now go to the owner and clearly state we are done with Shaun and no photos need to be taken now.
My voice was shaking on the phone, I sounded upset.
This guy has been trying to overstep my authority for weeks now and I've been unable to be on the site as much as I like due to my leg. Now I felt I have to run out there everyday because things are looking bad for me.
I was boiling all day. I got the calls accomplished, but I was a mess inside.........
If I had a 'real' job and people violated my boundaries like that.........I'd be a walking missile.
My BF tried to calm me all day...........but when my boundaries get violated now and disrespected, I'm still somewhat out of control........I need to get a grip on this. It ruined my day and it is just a stupid little thing.
I hate being manipulated, shut down and my words being ignored..........but the emotional dysregulation is killing me. I'd never be able to work a real job.
I was going to have Shaun back next year........last night I had a dream about hurting him? WTF?
As most of you know I'm back at work.
I know about setting boundaries and I'm much better at doing it without the shaking, trembling and all around distaste for having to do it. But there is still an amount of that. But I do it and I do it in a straight forward manner and firmly if needed.
I'm not having to interact with other much at this job (Thank Heavens), but I do have a field tech who I've sort of taken under my wing and been teaching him about this field.
He has done great for me in the field, but now the project is over and he just won't take that fact as an answer. There was sort of a mix up and the owner ended up giving him the camera I requested directly instead of giving it to me.
I've been out taking the shots needed on my BF's camera cause I was tired of waiting and wanted to be in the field for some other analysis.
I told my tech very clearly. I am taking the photos. Finish up the GPS work and then we are done.
So, the last two days he's been out in the field taking two shots that I guess the owner told him to take AND taking photos of all the transects, etc.
Less than a week ago I said that the photo part was being taken care of by me.
Yesterday he calls and is saying he's out there taking photos of transects, invasive patches, etc etc. I said, "I told you to take the two photos Dave wanted and the rest was not to be done by you."
He was just silent on the phone and then would say stupid stuff over and over like, 'well, there was a heron down stream.' "there was Phalarus in the patches.' "there were salmon in channel A.'
Every time he made a statement I repeated what I said above firmly and told him to leave the camera in the scale house for me to pick up.
He had me on the phone for 20" with this back and forth BS. I wanted to say, "What part of English do you not understand?" I was in the middle of something at home and my anger was getting out of control.
Then I was furious inside. I talked with BF and decided I needed to now go to the owner and clearly state we are done with Shaun and no photos need to be taken now.
My voice was shaking on the phone, I sounded upset.
This guy has been trying to overstep my authority for weeks now and I've been unable to be on the site as much as I like due to my leg. Now I felt I have to run out there everyday because things are looking bad for me.
I was boiling all day. I got the calls accomplished, but I was a mess inside.........
If I had a 'real' job and people violated my boundaries like that.........I'd be a walking missile.
My BF tried to calm me all day...........but when my boundaries get violated now and disrespected, I'm still somewhat out of control........I need to get a grip on this. It ruined my day and it is just a stupid little thing.
I hate being manipulated, shut down and my words being ignored..........but the emotional dysregulation is killing me. I'd never be able to work a real job.
I was going to have Shaun back next year........last night I had a dream about hurting him? WTF?
