goingonhope
VIP Member
David, I read what you've written, and my heart goes out to you and your wife and kids. It's very, very hard and sounds most difficult, and I wish I could help and I'm feeling powerless just knowing. I'm no expert and can't help, but I can respond just to remind you that though one minute we may not know what's what, ...a short time, or sometime later we do find real answers. This can and does happen, so david hold out hope in all of this and in your search for some real answers.
I relate with having been raped by my father, as was your wife, (mine was OS), and again later raped at 19. I've suffered a myriad of mental and emotional difficulties relating to these suppressed traumas as well as further trauma.
Just out of highschool I read a significant amount on abnormal psych. and as I sat and read I was clearly identifying with so many of the symptoms of varied illnesses, but then when I read that the student often will identify and not to worry, too much that it was normal, I let it go at that.
I do however, believe I had undiag. PTSD yrs. prior to my offic. diagn. in 1993, I also know that I had been diagnosed with anorexia/bulimia, acute alcoholism, genralized anxiety disord. and borderline personality disord., and then severe PTSD. I don't regurlarly take any medic., as I'm scared awful of it and simply don't like it. All I'll ever take is librium once in a blue moon, and suspecting that this might increase when I deal with my sexual abuse. As it is enorm. painful and debilitating to me to look at. I did try prozac before and what if effectively did was create hostile impulses to suddenly destroy something and outbursts of anger, but this was just me. I know my experience is mine and not the same as others.
I will say it does take experience and time to get real answers, as it did with me and what I've discovered is that I now have alcoholism secondary to complex PTSD, and nothing more. or vice-versa I don't know, what I'm saying is Primarily yrs. of supressed traumas and untreated PTSD.
Also, I have a sister who suffers deeply from PTSD, is agoraphobic and seldom if ever has left home over many, many yrs. She has been to doctors and diagnosed with many labels, and she has been medicated and re-medic., heavily for many yrs. for her symptoms of depression, anxiety, explosive temper, mood imbalance and insomnia. What I don't think my sis has ever yet to discuss, or come near accepting, TTBOMK, is her actual trauma.
Well, hoping that during your search and all your actions taken in your attempts to find your answers and solutions that you david hang in there and remember to be good to yourself. Take good care of you too, being especially good to yourself.
Hope
I relate with having been raped by my father, as was your wife, (mine was OS), and again later raped at 19. I've suffered a myriad of mental and emotional difficulties relating to these suppressed traumas as well as further trauma.
Just out of highschool I read a significant amount on abnormal psych. and as I sat and read I was clearly identifying with so many of the symptoms of varied illnesses, but then when I read that the student often will identify and not to worry, too much that it was normal, I let it go at that.
I do however, believe I had undiag. PTSD yrs. prior to my offic. diagn. in 1993, I also know that I had been diagnosed with anorexia/bulimia, acute alcoholism, genralized anxiety disord. and borderline personality disord., and then severe PTSD. I don't regurlarly take any medic., as I'm scared awful of it and simply don't like it. All I'll ever take is librium once in a blue moon, and suspecting that this might increase when I deal with my sexual abuse. As it is enorm. painful and debilitating to me to look at. I did try prozac before and what if effectively did was create hostile impulses to suddenly destroy something and outbursts of anger, but this was just me. I know my experience is mine and not the same as others.
I will say it does take experience and time to get real answers, as it did with me and what I've discovered is that I now have alcoholism secondary to complex PTSD, and nothing more. or vice-versa I don't know, what I'm saying is Primarily yrs. of supressed traumas and untreated PTSD.
Also, I have a sister who suffers deeply from PTSD, is agoraphobic and seldom if ever has left home over many, many yrs. She has been to doctors and diagnosed with many labels, and she has been medicated and re-medic., heavily for many yrs. for her symptoms of depression, anxiety, explosive temper, mood imbalance and insomnia. What I don't think my sis has ever yet to discuss, or come near accepting, TTBOMK, is her actual trauma.
Well, hoping that during your search and all your actions taken in your attempts to find your answers and solutions that you david hang in there and remember to be good to yourself. Take good care of you too, being especially good to yourself.
Hope
