Sex As A Coping Tool?

[Pokez]

I don't think a "quality" man would take offence to that,

Let me rephrase this: How much interest would a man with options have in a relationship or marriage to a woman who had a baby out of wedlock at 16? Table for three, please?

 

[Ata]

That's not so pokez - people do fall in love no matter what baggage they come with. But the assumption that a teenager can raise a child on her own with no assistance is what irks me in these posts. All the assistance goes unrecognised! It impacts on others, even just your average taxpayer.
I'm just commenting on the reality that women do need support raising a child, especially if they want to go back to school etc.
And coming back to the main point, it's why sex is not on the same level as sport or volunteer work....

 

[Jube]

It's ridiculous statements such as that that make women not feel they are worthy enough to be a wife.

No. It's not statements. It's the behavior and choices of humans in real life that make women feel that way. So watch what you step in.

 

[Vulagu]

I won't keep commenting here as this thread seems to have pushed all my buttons.
I speak as a woman who was forced to adopt out a child as a teenager and in those days there was absolutely no emotional OR financial support, it was all blame and shame. That terrible and lifelong grief sent me in a trajectory of self destruction for many many years. And I mean decades.
It is great that young girls do get support when pregnant these days, but it absolutely does my head in to hear them say they do it all on their own and itcwas easy
It also does my head in that many actively choose it, still thinking they are doing it on their own whilst taking welfare payments and using their parents as pretty much full time babysitters
of course I too would have loved to have had that option, but please don't say it's easy to do that on your own as a teenager. It's actually hurtful to those of us who really did have no support.
If is not easy or even possible to do that on your own. Please at least acknowledge those who made it possible. Kudos to them. including taxpayers

 

[Cibuku]

but please don't say it's easy to do

No one said easy. I didnt nor did I see anyone say easy.

 

[Evun]

It's not easy and it's also not possible without the support of others, who may or may not be willing participants. The impact on others is huge.
The end for me here.

 

[Iju]

I've always used sex as a coping mechanism and for me it is an unhealthy one. If I'm having sex just to feel better about myself when I'm depressed, I almost always feel worse after the fact. If I'm depressed that's what I crave and unfortunately because I'm wanting to do it for the wrong reasons I just feel bad afterwards instead of good.

 

[Izana]

I just saw this thread and went back and read most of the posts before realizing that it was started quite awhile back. There are sure some interesting thoughts on this including much of which is off the original topic. While the topic was sex used to cope, it didn't specify whether it was casual sex, monogamous, or masturbation for that matter. There is discussions about consequences, shaming, and personal regrets as well as the magic number of partners that would indicate mental illness. Someone asked why men regret having a lot of casual sex????I have had a few men tell me that as well. Often they have been men who have been deceiving their partner. When they have become older and wiser, they have regretted that decision on many levels....for the deceit, the pain it has caused, being caught, and also on an internal and personal level that has been described as being weaker than their temptations. As a woman, I have regrets. Some has been tied to trauma indirectly, not feeling that I have had a choice, trading for some comfort, and just plain old "What the hell was I thinking". Ive also had sex as a coping mechanism that was not all that unhealthy at the time.....in a monogamous relationship without high risk and as a distraction from the problems faced at that moment. It does seem most women have some regrets outside of consequences such as pregnancy and std's. How much of that is society's shaming??I don't know.

 

[Wudi]

@OP

Misleading title is bullsh*t.

"Sex as a coping tools for females?" is more like it.

You see, some of you ladies, seem to forget than men CAN-FVCKING-NOT have sex whenever they damn well please.

You females CAN. Easy as 1, 2, 3.

We cannot have sex AT ALL, without your permission.

Some of us men would LOVE to at least try sex as a coping tool, but are sh*t out of luck.

Some people tend to forget that women control sexual access completely.

There are some lovely respectful men that would make great lovers, but the ladies often end up with the philanderers and playas and then are unhappy with the end results.

smh

(bring on the hate~~~~>ik what's coming)

 

[Ozuju]

You see, some of you ladies, seem to forget than men CAN-FVCKING-NOT have sex whenever they damn well please.

You females CAN. Easy as 1, 2, 3.

We cannot have sex AT ALL, without your permission.

Some of us men would LOVE to at least try sex as a coping tool, but are sh*t out of luck.

Hire a sex worker.

I'm a woman. I've done that.

Easy as 1,2,3? Nope. Not in the least. I want to use sex to cope, I need to go looking, make smart choices, and understand the risks as well.

I hear your frustration, but please, get off your pity party platform here...you want to try sex as a coping tool, there are multiple outlets for men. So, go get it done. I'm not sure what world you live in...

 

[Leha]

@ozuju

multiple outlets?

you named only one....ie. prostitutes

care to elaborate on the others?

 

[Ozuju]

care to elaborate on the others?

Sure. Hookup apps - Tinder is a good example. Depending on where you are located, Craigslist (I'm in the US, so those will be my reference points). If you are looking to have a bit more than a one-night stand, but not a complex relationship, set up profiles on dating sites and be clear about that.

You don't need to be the most attractive fish in the sea. Everyone has a yen for someone, when it comes to sex. The idea that a woman just has to hike up her skirt and there are multiple options waiting to get with her...is juvenile.

Masturbation. Also part of sex as a coping tool, in my book.

There are people who just want to sext, with no actual meet-up at all.

And really: there's nothing wrong with sex workers, either.

Hope this helps.