Sex: How Willing Should A Therapist Be To Talk About It?

[Emov]

I always thought the term "sex therapist" was a little redundant. What patient doesn't get into some sexual stuff at some point in their therapy? It's in intrinsic part of your psyche, so how can psychotherapy not cover it as well as other parts?

How willing have your general therapists (or trauma specialists) been to talk about sex and sexual trauma, issues, fears, obsessions, etc? At what point would you say an actual "sex therapist" becomes more appropriate? Have any therapists ever told you, "Uh-uh. I am not a sex therapist. Take this crap somewhere else?"

 

[Gohun]

Both my T's have been happy to talk about sex stuff, its me that has been embarrassed about it. I would have thought all therapists should be ok to talk about sex

 

[Zehig]

NHS tend to dodge the subject

 

[Wemip]

I have never had a therapist unwilling to talk about sex.

I think most therapist are happy to talk about it but are not specialized in that area of therapy if this is the focus of problems and it can be.

 

[Ovid]

I haven't experienced any sexual trauma and I haven't brought up the topic about the sex with my therapist because I am greatly embarrassed to discuss it. I guess it has something to do with my T's age, she is more than twice older than me and always looks so serious.
Although I guess she would be fine with the topic. She even mentioned something related once or twice but I stayed numbed.
I hope I will overcome that obstacle as I think I will need to talk about it as well at some point.
But I am really unsure that there are therapists who would have problems with such topic!?

 

[Igag]

Mine used to ask me several times a year how my sex life was. I got to the point where I simply said, "the same az the last time you asked me", and she finally quit asking but told me to ask her if I ever want any help with it...seems as though it would be a part of coursework with any therapy program.

 

[Emov]

But I am really unsure that there are therapists who would have problems with such topic!?

Maybe just terrible luck on my part. Seems like it was a very sore subject personally for this therapist.

 

[Ameme]

How did she or he react?
Didn't want to discuss the topic although you mentioned some problem ?

 

[Akini]

I always thought a sex therapist was a bit more........involved. I mean they discuss very intimate aspects of sex and not just surface fluff

 

[Emov]

How did she or he react?
Didn't want to discuss the topic although you mentioned some problem ?

Yes. Over and over. Like it was something she was uncomfortable talking about because her own sex life was embarrassing or upsetting to her -- that was my read. She just wouldn't go into it, kept dodging it, changing the subject.

 

[Fena]

Therapists are human, and some are better with certain topics than others. Some are going to be less comfortable with sex than others even though they may be completely competent in other areas. Some therapists are not real good with addictions. Some have religious backgrounds and beliefs and do not want to pass on their judgements or beliefs.

If the topic of sex is not getting the attention that you need and the T is uncomfortable, I would ask for a referral to a specialist. To be real honest, in the US, therapist have no special training in sexual behavior by the time they receive their masters degree in most programs, it is not a requirement. Therapists must chose tracks of study on their own time and own dime after they graduate (not required). They chose everything from what they have interest and passion for to what is cheapest or their agency provide free training in.

Emov, it may be her own sex life is uncomfortable or she may just not feel confident enough in that area. It would be better though for therapists to just say that this is not my area of expertise but I can refer you to someone to address that specifically. I think many dont because they are afraid that other therapists will discover their lack of knowledge and skill to address this issue. That is short changing the client. I would much prefer someone tell me they dont know than ill advice or avoidance.

 

[Emov]

I would much prefer someone tell me they dont know than ill advice or avoidance.

Exactly. But I don't think it had anything to do with a lack of expertise. All I really wanted was her active engagement in the conversation, not some arcane knowledge only a sex therapist would have access to.